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TOPIC: How long does it take to find the right couple
Created by: smartypans78
Original Starting post for this thread:
My husband thinks I am being to picky and taking things to slow. We have been meeting/clubs less than 2 years and summers are very busy so we do not go out really at all then. We have kids and do not have a lot of time to meet and play so he wants to go full swap the first date. I prefer to get to know a couple or single and take things slow. Would like yours thoughts. He ideally wants to go out once a month and play with another couple. That seems like a lot to me. Is it?

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Sometimes it does take awhile to find the right cpl. The chemistry should be right for all and that is harder to find than MFM's. But don't give up....it is worth it. Gotta say, works out best if everyone is drama free and completely confident. Jealousy is no fun..or when you gotta feed the ego with one of the cpl members. Don't seem to have that problem with our single male friends.

Saint Joseph MO
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I took a quick peek at your profile and it seems like you are looking more for FWB. Which is totally cool, but may not be what the swingers in your area are looking for.

Are the couples you are meeting, out of your age range? Looks/personality preferences?

IMHO...you and hubby need to sit down and have a heart-to-heart about what it is you are looking for because you don't sound like you're on the same page.

I'm not saying that either of you should "take one for the team", but as in any relationship, sometimes you both have to make slight compromises.

Hubby and I met with a nice couple a few months ago. They were a bit older than us (mid 50's), but both in great shape. The man was not really my type at all, but the woman had such a bangin' body and wonderful personality that I knew hubby would enjoy spending time with her. (I even enjoyed playing with her!)

So, I found something in the guy that I could like (for the night), focused on that and let hubby have a great time. Sure, the guy wasn't my *dream guy*, but seeing how happy hubby was made it all worthwhile.

And now I get my MFM, so....it's all good! LOL

Lahaina HI
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To be honest it really sounds like you don't want to play at all. We can usually tell from someone's profile if we want to play with them. Once we meet if they are what we expected (most times they are) we play. Were not looking for another spouse, were looking for someone to have sex with. We both love sex, I don't have to be in the mood, and I don't even have to an orgasm (but usually do) to enjoy sex. Linn

Graceham MD
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historically,we have found that looking a little longer sometimes has much better quality friends, and pays off, wife is very picky, and weeds out the roughnecks, ans pic takers

Charlestown IN
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It can take forever. Sometimes you think you found the right couple only to find out you still need to keep on looking.

Sparta TN
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Finding the right couples to spend time with takes time. It's something that both of you should discuss and agree on. Care writing your profile will pay great dividends. And expect to invest significant time meeting folks for coffee, drinks, dinner and so on.

Atlanta GA
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I found a few couples I would do but I have not found the right couple at all.

Spring TX
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Communication is the key; and you may have to compromise with your husband. Once per month is not excessive (to us). We know all about life's business. Our kids are grown, but now we have elderly parents to take care of! It is very hard to find the right couples, AND to have matching expectations and schedules. Keep going to meet & greets. Maybe once per year go on an "adult" vacation with your husband - no kids. Even if it's local, go to a nudist resort, etc. without any expectations of "playing". This will give you time to relax and rekindle your libido. If by chance you meet a couple that you both want to play with, that's great! Otherwise, you will have fun just people watching and talking with others.

Cocoa FL
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There is no rule of how many times to meet a couple. It is what you both have agreed too do. It may be it would be a good idea to get on the same page before starting to meet couples.

Lansing MI
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Smarty - welcome to the fora!

Mrs. Smarty...just an opinion from one of the great unwashed...take it as fast or as slow as YOU want to!

Likely not a set number for days, times, etc to play, whatever you feel comfortable with.

Jacksonville FL
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TOPIC: How long does it take to find the right couple