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Grabby Guys! : Swingers Discussion 1619101011
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TOPIC: Grabby Guys!
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We're pretty new to the LS and glad to say we haven't encountered much of this type of behavior yet. While at Rooftop Resort in Florida last weekend my hubby and I enjoyed the outdoor couch so much that I laid back to let him eat me. Unexpected and uninvited, one of the guys there by himself (I've no idea whether he was single or married) plopped himself down on the couch, watched the action for a very short time, then walked up and grabbed one of my nipples. All it took was me telling him it was a private party, and he left quickly. If he had but taken some time when we were done to become acquainted, he may well have seen some action.

Sheboygan Falls WI
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Oh wait I forgot MEN are not supposed to have an opinion are they?"

...at least someone gets it! I'm kidding. If you felt me rude well, you felt me to be rude. I can accept that. But I meant what I posted. You basically told Cayne that she was an immature, classless person for responding as she did. And that, in my opinion, was bullshit. You tell me in your latest post that I do not know you and therefore cannot make a determination on your character. Do you know Cayne, have you met her and know her? Because you told her that she is a child that needs to learn maturity and class. How is THAT not making a determination on her character?

San Marcos TX
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"Have fun with this thread I have read enough, I conduct myself in the highest manner of etiquette when at a party"

I don't have any problem with you sharing your opinion. I do, however, have a problem with you calling me classless. It was rude and unwarranted. Hopefully this situation has taught you to conduct yourself with same level of etiquette that you seem to have at parties.

Windermere FL
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Easy fella . . . Your first post on this topic said your wife was so upset by a similar experience that you wished later you had been more assertive in stopping it. Your latest post said it's okay to blow away a grabby dude. I'm thinking you got jumped because of your two other posts, in which you went beyond merely advocating as restrained a response as necessary. You called out the woman who defended herself against a sexual assault, telling her to "grow up" and have some class. Nothing wrong with expressing opinions, but it's a good idea to grow thicker skin if you post something likely to trigger a verbal kick in the shins back at you. Peace.

Belle Chasse LA
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The regularity of this behavior is absolutely baffling to us."

Amen to this. I just do not understand how men, again in my experience married men who have wives who are women, feel that is appropriate...and would probably become angry if their own wives were treated in this manner! In a lot of ways it seems that the "no means no" is seen as a solely single male rule....because married men find no hesitation in joining in. We were at a party where the lady was in doggy, playing with friends. In a public room. And a guy walked up behind her and was obviously planning on entering her. She got quite distressed and abruptly ended the playtime. Its very common. And very alarming.

San Marcos TX
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I've only had one single guy grab me inappropriately. The rest of the men have all been married. Our latest episode happened during a FMF threesome at Trapeze in Atlanta a couple months ago. While we were playing in an open area, a husband decided it was his duty to rub his fingers on our girlfriend's clit (from behind her). This was only her second time at a club and is farily new to everything. She made my hubby aware of what was happening and he poked his head up and sternly shook is head and the guy stopped. Here's the kicker to this one, the guy's wife was right there watching it happen with a big 'ole smile on her face. Normally, in my experience, the guy is away from his wife when they pull this shit. Needless to say, the guy got the hint and they left.

So many people believe that because you are a swinger, or if you are attending a party, that it's a foregone conclusion that you want to have sex with anyone and everyone, when that is anything but the case. The regularity of this behavior is absolutely baffling to us.

Panama City Beach FL
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M... EXACTLY... sheesh.

The other thing I don't get is the assumption that because some of us have had to react in a physical manner when a situation warranted it we just go around kicking random people at will.

I have been in many clubs. Vanilla clubs, swing clubs, BDSM clubs, clubs in other countries. I have only had ONE experience where I had to get as violent as I did. The majority of the time words will work. That doesn't negate the fact that sometimes a woman has to defend herself. You men, for the most part outweigh and outmatch us physically. We (women) would have to feel pretty damned threatened to come at you. And I did... so I kicked his fucking shin.

Mrs Cayne <---- doesn't take shit from no one

Windermere FL
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Rdy I was referring to lots of men. Talking to women in the lifestyle, I think it is safe to say that the majority have had instances where men got stupid and decided to treat her like a whore. Most women I know, anyway. Not all men, of course not. I do not even know if it is safe to say most men. But lots. And lots.

San Marcos TX
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Most men on here are married and I would think that you didn't mean them, or did you. "

To be absolutely frank about it yes, I did mean husbands. I have never been grabbed out of line by a single man, "no means no" is banged into their heads over and over. This is just MY experience though. I do not speak for all women, only myself. From what I have seen, husbands tend to get very confused in regard to acceptable touching. I have been throwing something in the trash before and had a husband sitting at the table put his hand up my skirt. So yes, I am speaking about husbands myself. All husbands? Of course not.

San Marcos TX
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"What I do not understand is that the men seem to almost condone this type of behavior. This is quite concerning."

Shelly, perhaps men have an easier time understanding how a drunk guy might do this; that doesn't mean any of us condone it. And FWIW, I'm firmly in the camp that says the woman is entitled to whatever level of force she wants to use in defense of herself. That, at least, seems like a no brainer.

Belle Chasse LA
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TOPIC: Grabby Guys!