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Easing into anal with wife that shows interest but is reluctant : Swingers Discussion 175087
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TOPIC: Easing into anal with wife that shows interest but is reluctant
Created by: rt73rt
Original Starting post for this thread:
Years ago my wife initiated anal intercourse with me. We both found it enjoyable but she experienced some pain and was uncomfortable for a few days. She is not into pain (yet). She tends to take small steps. When we did it many years ago it was with out lube or practice. She was quite active and such but after words she refuses the experience. So now she is willing to explore if she can bail and it is a fun time for all. She is also concerned that I will want it all the time which is not the case. She has stated that it was erotic and stimulating for her but she didn't want to work on the negatives.

So we are talking about it now again. She is willing but wants it to be controlled and minimize the just fucked ass hole feeling the next day. I am what she calls "almost average" so pain and such should not be an issue with us with the right techniques.

If anyone has been through this if you could post how you dealt with it and made it a positive part of your sex life I would appreciate it. I think she just needs some good info. and such. She is also concerned about our ages. We are in our 50s and well we fart more than 20 yr olds. This bothers her some what and is afraid of fecal material being in her rectum.

Also if someone could hook us up with a link to a vid where gentle romantic anal sex is demonstrated I would love to have it. The porno anal is not attractive to me and I know that it would not be attractive to her either.

Thanks for any comments

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Gloriann...you have the perfect body. Just gorgeous!

San Antonio TX
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passion;

yes it was, good eye!!!

and other stuff!!

Willits CA
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I also find that the pleasure overpowers the pain so after lots lube, a little teasing in that area and slow penetration I try to start rubbing my clit as soon as possible. I find if I wait too long I get caught up in the initial pain and I don't feel like going on, but as soon as it starts to feel good I start to relax and it feels great. I wouldn't recommend this as an every day activity, but we both enjoy it as a sometimes treat. I also found that when it was still pretty new it helped to do it with a (smaller) toy once in while just to kind get a feel for it and understand what feels good about it.

Willits CA
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A Medical Standpoint...

There is 2 Spincters. External and internal. External can be more receptive than the internal. Pain usually stems from the internal. Both need to dilate.

Saint Augustine FL
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Another thing about lube for the anal, the lube should be silicone based. Silicone based lube like "pure pleasure" will stay slippery even during water play. Just a quick warning, silicone lube with silicone toys will mutate, so do not use those together. Again, I am not a medical person. If the pain persists, you should see a doctor. Happy thoughts,,,

Chesapeake VA
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For Anal Sex, there are 3 important things to remember. 1) Lube, because it doesn't matter how long you work it, there will be no "natural" lube. 2) Communication, because the person to be penetrated is the one in control. She/He will ease back into things at their own pace. 3) Relaxation, because it is a muscle that will tighten up, & nothing will go in. There are a few products that could help, like "Bootyease". Take a pea size amount and rub on the outside of the hole. Leave for about 10-15 minutes, so no oral favors during that time. I am not a medical person, just have some personal experience in this area.

Chesapeake VA
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I'll give this a try with a bit of very specific info.

Even if you have lots of lube when you start penetrating your wife, most of it will never make it inside her. The sphincter muscle is usually SO tight, it will squeeze most of the lube off your penis.

My technique is to put lots of lube on my penis and VERY slowly start the process. As you get in a bit, pull back out and put some more of the lube on the end of your penis (there should still be plenty left on the shaft.) And remember to go SLOWLY. the sphincter will loosen up but it will take several minutes to get there.

As you start to get inside, you will feel the head of your penis get just past the sphincter. AVOID THE URGE TO JUST SHOVE IT ON IN (like you see in the porn movies.) I usually slowly pull out and restart the whole process. it may take a while, but it will be worth it!!!!

Hartselle AL
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wife was very not wanting the first time, but likes it now, was a little ineabriated at a party, and got it there, and liked it

Charlestown IN
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I agree with the lot'o'lube. The one time we did it we used spit. Probably not that comfortable for her. Not going to use any numbing agents either. Lube, romance, teasing, analingus, digital penetration and toss in a bj and we might have a party If she doesn't back out (no pun).

She is still complaining about how she feels directly after. She wants to minimize these feelings if she can. Says she feels she needs to move her bowels for days and that she is uncomfortable the next day.

So any of you guys got a few hints to avoid the "I had anal sex on my vacation and my but got uncomfortable the next day feeling". What is it like the next day? Would a slow non full penetration help with this? You guys have done this more than me so I am eager for your years of knowledge.

Johnson City TN
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I agree with Passion as to no numbing lubes. No drinking to relax yourself either. The one thing you do not want, is not to feel what is happening. You can do a lot of damage if you are not careful. Relaxing and well lubricating are the key factors. If you can use a toy on your clitoris to help stimulate you , that might help. I would not recommend achieving an orgasm prior to attempting anal. The sphincter usually gets very tight afterward .

Augusta NJ
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TOPIC: Easing into anal with wife that shows interest but is reluctant