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single guys always asking for advice, here you go : Swingers Discussion 1846231051
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FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsSwinging Singlesingle guys always asking for advice, here you go
TOPIC: single guys always asking for advice, here you go
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It is you who is condescending. You who has offered me pity and some insight as you see it in my reasons for my opinion. Your argument is based on your preferences and my opinion is based on my own feelings. An opinion I did not ask you to share. I asked a question about your post and explained why that would feel wrong to me but you want to posture like a peacock and brow beat me with you pity. Do not try to analyze my mind or my motives based on your limited information of me, you merely make yourself look foolish. You have the right to expect and demand anything you like from single men . What you don't have the right to is to expect everyone feels the same . In the future if you'd prefer to not have people who questioned your post for specifics or offered a different opinion perhaps you should refrain from posting in a public forum. Shame on you for not being able to have an adult conversation without trying to make someone else look bad. If I were you I d look to myself and my own issues before second guessing those of someone else. You're not qualified to be a sofa psychiatrist. Just because I don't agree with you doesn't mean I don't have enough grace to respect an opinion or behave respectfully. Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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well since you've decided to continue the issue, the idea that you are being "bought" because a guy shows up with a bottle of wine, is mind boggling. are you actually suggesting that this somehow makes you indebted to him at that point? because if you do, one would have to wonder what in your past has brought you to this way of thinking.

it's clear to me now that your problem here with me, is a basic and fundamental difference in our philosophy's concerning men's and women's roles in society. i'm more concerned with women be treated with respect and appreciation, while you reject these ideas for fear that it leaves you "owing" in some way. so be it. i'll never change your way of thinking, and you certainly won't change mine. i'm sure you will have some condescending response to this as well.

RDY, i'm not sure i get the point of your post, other than that you agree with her, but at least you have mfm experience to speak from.

Orlando FL
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RDY, Thank you for putting a perspective on it I hadn't considered......the hubbies. It is nice to know I'm not alone in thinking the way I do . Mr Sav thinks I deserve the sun, moon and stars but what does he know lol. Since I do all the contacting and arranging this would never be an issue for us but if the topic of gifts came up between us he'd figure out really quick I can not be bought nor do not ever want to feel like I am being bought.....even if the intentions are pure.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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A priceless set of deductions you make there. "decent" is relative to what you are used to. Spare me the pity it isn't needed and I don't need to justify anything I said you have "justification" for both of us. I don't need or expect some false courting jester so that in my mind I can justify fulfilling my needs with a strange I am not or ever will be emotionally attrached to . I have Mr Sav who still "courts" me . There is no romance involved for us in swinging so no need to expect it of a single man whos role is to help us fulfill our /my fantasy. Res[pect yes, manner absolutely gifts....absolutely not. I'm not dating them so the rules change immeasurably. As I said if it makes you happy I am happy for you .

Anniston AL
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now that we've sufficiently bored everyone to tears over the issue, i'll respond here and let you have the last word. if you choose to wallow in mediocrity, you are mediocre.

i'm pretty sure i used the term "decent" in reference to a bottle of wine, but you feel free to substitute what ever words work in your attempt to validate your ideas, ok?

if you choose to see it as "payment", i feel sad for you, and i don't mean that as an insult. i genuinely feel sad for any woman who does not see herself as someone a guy would be lucky to be with. i expect single guys to show appreciation because i show appreciation. i know how lucky i am to be with her, and if they don't feel the same, then we're not a match.

appaerntly, guys have had it all wrong for several thousands of years now as they've shown up at countless doorsteps with flowers in hand. congratulations are in order. you have now officially released them from their bonds of oppressive, appreciative servitude!

moving on.

Orlando FL
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And if you're going to call me dahhhling I might have to charge you for the priviledge of being overly friendly lol.

I prefer a good Merlot...thank you.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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Funny I don't recall giving advice on this topic, merely asking for clarification on what you posted and offered my opinion on the inequity that seems to prevalent between single males and females. The issue of whether or not I play with single males is has nothing to do with my question. If you are you somehow implying that if we chose to play with single males part of the critiria would be the highest bidder based on something monatary you're solely mistaken. Before I met Mr Sav I was on several vanilla dating sites for about a year and met dozens of men . I would agree to meet for coffee or a beer, I would arrive early and buy my own drinks. I did not then and do not now expect anyone to pay to be in my company. Whether or not someone is "lucky" to play with me is up to them to decide. What I give to others I give freely and without monatry expectations. If I am "selling myself short "I don't think a bottle of cheap wine , a trinket or a hotel room would be in the ballpark of what I'd hope I am worth. I'd much rather "give it away "free than to give it away cheap. Any feeling on my part that you bought and paid for me is a huge turn off. In fact I'd find it insulting when put in the context of feeling like I had some value and some guy is lucky to be with me and therefor should pay. Meeting others is a honor and a priviledge for us and hopefully for them as well. I'm glad you've had a good laugh and trust me I am totally amused by your responses . BTW thanks for the compliments and for the record I have no issue with how you and your wife select your partners , to each their own comfort level. I enjoy asking questions and exchanging ideas and I am totally into how and why people think the way they do.....whether I agree or disagree. In this case I disagree with you, expecting any form of payment isn't something I am comfortable with.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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first, how about you speak as you choose and i'll do the same. we should all be adults here, i hope. and who is angry? i haven't laughed so much in ages.

secondly, how about you let us decide what OUR fantasies are, and we'll show you the same courtesy?

third(ly) ?, we don't play with single females, so the point is moot. we do play with couples and single males. glad we got that sorted out, not sure why.

fourth(ly)?, if you don't think guys would be lucky to be with you, perhaps you're right. i suppose you would know better than i.

fifth(ly)?, if you don't even play with single males, what the fuck would you know about it anyway? sorry, but that's like people who have no children giving advice on raising them.

sixth(ly)?, we on the other hand, do have experience with said subject, so we'll let the single guys decide who's advice they should follow. but why would they listen to someone who isn't even interested in fucking single guys? yeah, that makes sense.

i'm not angry at you for disagreeing with me. i actually think you're very attractive and normally i see pretty much eye to eye with your posts. but you're out of your element here, dahhhling. ;-)

apologies for the potty words.

Orlando FL
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"do i expect him to bring her a gift? you bet your ass i do. i think a decent bottle of wine, or an offer to pay for the hotel room is the least he can do to show a little appreciation for being allowed to join our playtime. do i expect him to act like he understands how lucky he is to be there? you're goddamned right i do. and if he doesn't, he's out the door"

First it isn't necessary to swear , hopefully as adults we can disagree without resorting to anger. I beg to disagree with your comment it isn't a "fantasy" unless you mean by that it is no longer a fantasy having been there and done that. surely if there was no fantasy involved said single guy wouldn't have been in the bed. I'm curious now if the fantasy was you with 2 women would you expect your female guest to bring you a gift or pay for the room so you could indulge in your fantasy? Secondly how many emails you get nor how often your wife gets this urge is irrelevant . As are the number of certs you might have. Thirdly I don't "sell myself short and open my bed to every whiny little prick who can send an email" . For the record we chose to play with couples . Fourthly I do not believe anyone "owes" me anything least of all a gift nor do I consider anyone who plays with us "lucky". I believe that we all mutually benefit from these encounters . When expenses are involved I am a firm believer everyone pays their fair share whether it is couples or singles. I'm genuinely happy that whatever screening process you use is working for you. My comments were about differences of equality and the expectations from couples regarding single males and single females and the expectations of a gift.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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i hate math. LOL

Orlando FL
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TOPIC: single guys always asking for advice, here you go