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letting wife play solo; advice : Swingers Discussion 232807
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TOPIC: letting wife play solo; advice
Created by: GypsyAngelEyes
Original Starting post for this thread:
we are secure couple getting back into lifestyle.I do enjoy watching my spouse with a nother man and we have done mfm many times and we do.enjoy couples. She has asked me about her having a fwb male. She has been talking to a grat looking guy from site and now has askwd if he can take her on a date overnight and a night of safe solo hot sex. I do feel my ego hurt a little; but rather her be open than cheat and not tell. She says its a fantasy thing:sexual.thing. a boy toy thing. Do any of you do this allow her to play solo? How do I accept it a little better? Some one I read said she texts him telling her spouse whats going on and OMG and keeps spousw in tuned. I just want others to share what they do; away its wxciting for all want to get

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Troopergirl,

That's what a woman who plays separately should do. If the hubby feels uncomfortable, she breaks the relationship off immediately with her boy toy as opposed to complaining about her husband's nagging and divorces him to marry the boy toy.

Schaumburg IL
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We are pretty much the opposite of Andrew. I play solo with SM that we have met before that Trooper feels like he can trust with me. He loves how emails or texts from my favorites keep me excited. And I have spent the night alone with two of them, and most likely will again. However Trooper is very confident in my love for him and knows that as much as I enjoy my time with as he calls them "my boys" he is my soulmate and the one I want to spend my life with. If he ever started to feel uncomfortable with me seeing one, even one of my favorites, I would give them up immediately.

Louisville KY
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My rules for my wife playing separately, are never overnight, no phone numbers of single men, and no friendships with single men. They're nothing but a stunt cock.

Hilliard OH
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I have to add this to all newbies out there...

Although I try really hard not to criticize someone directly in this lifestyle, I have to do that in this case. FunLoversMP's advice is the worst advice one can possibly give to a newbie or any swingers out there. To make my point, I will quote what she said in the thread.

"I left my hubby due to he not being hot enough and constantly objecting to my spending overnights and weekends with others; I got tired of his nagging." >>> Selfish. Hubby not hot enough. Hubby objecting. I got tired of his objection...

"I plan to stay married to my present hubby for a long time. Now, lets say that tomorrow I meet someone who is 'better' and we fall in love......... At this point I may have to make a decision to leave my current hubby and go with my new love....... But that would be best for everyone, for me, of course, and my current hubby and my lover. So everyone would benefit." >>> Selfish. It's always about what's best for herself. Best for her current hubby? Getting divorced one sidedly is best for him?

"That's the point of being open to others, to enhance your own experience in ways I could not with my regular partner." >>> Selfish. To enhance your own experience.

Never for once she cares about her SO. It's all about having fun on her own. She even encouraged divorcing your SO. Marriage to her means absolutely nothing, except maybe for convenience only.

Schaumburg IL
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Lookin,

Yeah. And our understanding about this lifestyle is that our own partner and relationship should always be the most important and trump anything else. If our partner isn't comfortable with something, then we stop doing whatever we're doing or planning on doing.

Both of us join this lifestyle to enhance our relationship and to have fun together, with emphasis on together. We're not here to find someone better or to see if we can add to/replace our current one.

Schaumburg IL
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The lifestyle is all about opening new doors, however there are some doors that should never be opened and once you do it is extremely difficult to close. We have known some great couples who opened that door and sure enough ... The relationship totally failed within six months and all are divorced. Sex between three or more is recreation while sex between two people is a relationship and that spells trouble so do yourself a favor and don't open that door.

Grand Rapids MI
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Isn't this not swinging and more like an open relationship?

It sounds super hot, but I understand the risks and everything and I know I am extremely uncomfortable to allow it to happen in real life (both if mrs dates alone or if I date alone). But to keep it as fantasy? Abso f-ing lutely.

Schaumburg IL
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Well, I don't think you understand what exactly we mean, the others and I.

It's simple. And you admit this in part. Allowing both partners in a couple to play with others separately regularly opens up a whole new world of experiences, both physical and emotional and it makes the physical (sex) oh so much more intense.

That is not the one time or two that you mention. If the male and the female in the couple are free to play with others who from time to time turn them on, well it's simply sexual heaven. And OK, if say I find a guy who turns me on so much and I want to have encounters with him and the sex and the romance are great, then so what... let it be. That's the point of being open to others, to enhance your own experience in ways I could not with my regular partner.

People in the lifestyle who have not reached this level simply don't know what a sublime bliss this is. I feel that most in the lifestyle never reach this level just out of FEAR and I feel sorry for them, but that's the way it is.

Listen, why don't you leave your fears behind and open yourself to others and new and unpredictable experiences which may lead to unknown and unanticipated ends? You have to have the 'courage' or be suficiently uninhibited to let yourself and your partner go and live the lifestyle to its fullest.

Anyone who tries it will experience the highest sexual pleasure plus the most intense feelings. It's all good and great. Nothing to fear or worry about.

But from your posting I don't feel you understand any of this.

Michelle

Sekiu WA
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Every couple who tries swinging is opening a Pandora's box, no matter how secure they believe their relationship to be. Most couples find it thrilling, exciting and liberating at the outset, but one spouse will invariably enjoy it more and want it more often than the other spouse. Sometimes it can make the other spouse get cool toward swinging, sometimes it can heat things up. It's a crossroads many couples find themselves facing. My 1st wife asked for a hall pass once while I was readying for 5 day business trip. Our daughter was going to be with her grandparents in Florida that same week.She was open and honest in telling me that there were two of our bi mfm partners she wanted to fuck again and it was a perfect time for her to do it. Both were well hung and we'd all had a great time in our 3somes and they both were literally begging her for another meeting, with me or without. Her plan was to invite them both for a 3some with her. Hell I would have enjoyed a mmm 3some with them myself ! I got an instant erection and agreed, with the condition she would video itand watch it with me when I got home. The deal was struck LOL She didn't succeed in getting them both for a 3some, but she did suck and screw them separately in our bed on consecutive nights. The videos were better than any porn videos we'd ever watched together. Our sex life and our swing life continued to be hot and often and she never asked to swing alone again, although I probably wouldn't have said no. Everytime we watched that video, sometimes with male partners, she thanked me for letting her scratch her itch, then commenced sucking and fucking my/our brains out. Bottom line is I trusted her and knew she was not looking for love from other men, just hot sex. If you trust your wife in that way, let her scratch her itch.

Kennesaw GA
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Great, she did it! Yes, now how does she feel about it?

We've heard from the hubby, what about hearing from HER and how good she feels about doing it overnight one-on-one. It would be great to hear from HER, after all she's the one doing it!

Michelle

Sekiu WA
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TOPIC: letting wife play solo; advice