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Why is it the single males chicken out : Swingers Discussion 7091110411
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FORUMSSuccessful SwingingAchieving Single Male SuccessWhy is it the single males chicken out
TOPIC: Why is it the single males chicken out
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Mischief-

The behavior that you describe is what I refer to as being "socially awkward"-saying and doing the wrong things at the wrong times. It is the main reason there are so many unsuccessful single males. When looking for men who are successful in making and maintaining quality swing relationships, look for those men who are also successful in business, civic affairs, and other activities. These men generally know how to respond in a given setting, and this knowledge usually extends to sex as well.

Memphis TN
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There IS a significant amount of nervousness on the part of a single playing with a couple. I can tell if they are experienced. That helps TONS. They have clear boundaries etc. It's the newer players that have all sort of landmines. I try to get a bunch of them out of the way up front.

I tell the guy he must use a condom. It's then that I find out whether or not he's going or allowed to do me. I have other statements I make depending on the situation. The newer the couple the more of the role of social director I take on.

I am always watching the same sex partner for any issues that develop. I have had some men say incredibly stupid things while in scene. "I wish you could come like her." and the really dumb. He can't get hard while she is sucking on him.. With me..instant hard-on. That's blown (pun intended) 2 FMFs out of the water. Exit quickly.

I always know exactly where all my clothing is. jewelry is in my shoe. Clubs are the safest place for me to play with couples. I only go to the homes/hotel rooms of trusted friends.

Being part of a team is much easier/safer/better than playing alone. I still prefer playing alone. I only have to be concerned with my wants, needs, desires. And when it works...well..it works very, very, well indeed. There was this really nice couple in Tampa....That's for another time.

Glen Burnie MD
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Can I ask y'all something? Now, this is just my opinion from observations that I have made. Men, for being the so called "stronger" sex, sure do get scared alot!! LOL....NOT meaning any disrespect gents, but ths IS what I've noticed. They are either scared, intimidated or nervous. How the hell does anyone get a hard on if they are always scared shitless??

I'm only teasing but man!

Shell


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I think I said this before Voyeurs, but geez, where were you two when I lived in Midlothian?

Personally, I think everyone in this thread is correct in one way or another. One man who flirts with a couple might be a married guy on here without permission. One man may have completely lied about his endowment. The next may be a complete newbie and get cold feet. One single that we've played with, and think the world of, told me that the first time he played with a couple he was so intimidated (not by the couple but the idea that they were actually allowing him into their bedroom) he damn near couldn't perform. It may be a combination of all of the above, but I just wish that when I'm in the mood to play with a single, they wouldn't ALL disappear into the woodwork (at least all the *good* ones). S

Cambridge VT
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Wonderful advice, thank you! So again, WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY do they waste my time then???????????? I swear, they think this is a frickin game or something. Wow. I'm starting to think that its easier to go to a vanilla bar and pick someone up than this lol, because I just don't have the time for it. I hear you on the big game though....they talk so MUCH trash, you are like "okay, lets do it..lets meet" and POOF! They are gone. Shell


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I have no idea Atlanta, you tell me!! LOL. I have been told by a friend who is a single male that I need to ask them for their cell phone number from jump. This way we don't talk talk talk flirt talk for nothing. Shell


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I agree, and see? Its the bad ones that make it bad for you good single males. I just CANNOT for the life of me understand how or why grown people enjoy playing games. He talks to you, you agree to meet, and POOF! I just don't understand it...is it the thrill of the "I coulda had her"???? Or cold feet? I just simply do not get it. Its just so STUPID LOL!! And a pure waste of my time. But yes, I agree with the OP.....they complain up and down how no one plays with them. Then, when you say okay we'll meet, they are gone faster than my tax return. And thats pretty fast. Shell


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You GO ATL! I have had 2 single guys in 2 weeks disppear. They talk SO MUCH trash too. LOL Shelly


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I agree with all, things happen. I have come to terms with the fact that not all people are as blunt as I am, so I expect nothing. Thats the easiest thing I have found to do, is to expect absolutely nothing. There is just too much frustration when you do. Still though, its just plain ass rude.

No excuse, there is a decorum amongst adults.

Shelly


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It's not just couples that have this problem. TT is right on when he suggests experienced single males are impossible to find. Unicorns I can get. It is pressure to have sex with couples. I'm constantly aware of what is going on. It's only with regulars that I let my guard down.

Example. I have a new male friend. He is vanilla. Meaning despite his extensive experience he's a newbie at the games I like to play. He's got all the right credentials. Intelligent, street smart, successful at work, a good father, priorities in order. etc. He's even dominant. I started thinking....WOW, it's only taken me a year to find a replacement for my now distant gentleman-dogs.

I really have very simple needs. I merely want a man to grab me by the hair and take what I'm very willing to give. No strings other than the common courtesies expected amongst friends.

Well it's not that simple. He may actually want to just be friends. I have different levels of male friends. He will well fit into my life. But I'll be damned What's a picky, party grrl to do. I have no problem waiting for the right gentleman to come along. But, Damn they are rare.

4play...don't give up. They are out there. hugs.

Mischief

Glen Burnie MD
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TOPIC: Why is it the single males chicken out