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FORUMS › Successful Swinging › Achieving Single Male Success › Why is it the single males chicken out
TOPIC: Why_is_it_the_single_males_chicken_out
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we personally don't understand "taking one for the team". i'm not going to have sex with someone i'm not interested in so my wife can play or vis versa.

if one of us needs to get off that bad, we'll get each other off.

taking one for the team out of "love" isn't love at all, it's silly and shows the lack of respect one partner has for the other.

Kansas City MO
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PPS, years ago, I saw a posting on another forum where a male swinger in a Can-Do couple talked about their own experience taking one for the team. It seems that the couple they met up with had fudged about quite a few things.

For one thing, their photo was many years out of date. The wife was a BBW which this guy was not into. But they decided they had travelled a good distance and got a hotel room and they were gonna go through with it anyway. The wife said it was okay with her. The other guy, who was heavy had about half the dick size he boasted . He had none of the skill. The Can-Do dude felt bad for his wife 'taking one for the team'. He had a good time with the BBW anyway. Mind you the can-do couple were really attractive people. They both could have walked off, but they didn't. Lets be honest, a lot of swingers in that position would have left in disgust, but this guy chose to follow through with his intentions and he did. I respected that. It may be where some of my own attitude on the matter comes from.

Logan WV
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If you have really taken one for the team then you know it's not rediculous at all.

Like I said, I am a swinger. I committed to that many years ago. I can perform with ladies that I don't find physicaly attractive. Big deal, porno actors can do that too.

A little secret, young lady. Years ago, a wise old janitor told me ,"boy, you makes love with your Johnson, not your eyeball." Like most swingers, I prefer quality over quantity. I wouldn't have sex with people who are physically nasty, wasted on drugs, diseased, etc... But I have had sex with ladies larger than me and I have had sex with ladies older than me and it was a fun experience for all involved. One good reason for the solo swinger to "take one for the team" because that is what it amounts to is that if you perform with somebody that might not be your personal type, and you make them happy, if you live in a rural area - and I do- word gets out in the local swinging community that- "hey, this guy performs." Which can lead to more hookups.

If you are a 20 something hottie living in a big city, and can afford to be choosy, more power to you. Nobody has secrets in a small town. As a single male swinger, I do what I have to do to fulfill my desires and if that means banging somebody that I don't fantasize about night and day, so be it. If it makes her happy and it makes me happy thats all that matters. In time you will find that sexy is as sexy does. I'd rather be with some chick you might make fun of who is into having sex and a good time with me than I would to be with some perfect ten who has a list of boundaries a mile long and is frigid. Been there , done her.

Logan WV
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Whether you can comprehend it or not, the reality is that there are people out there who will contact other people and then chicken out without bothering to meet them.Any experienced swinger has stories about this. Most will chicken out before even meeting up. They pull a no show or just drop off line.

Often, people who contacted the other party first.

They are fakes. Sooner or later, it will happen to you, no matter how attractive you percieve yourself to be. Some single males chicken out when the opportunity arrives, some couples chicken out when the opportunity arrives, and some single females chicken out when the opportunity arrives.

Thats the difference between 4-Real swingers and what I call "for crying out loud" swinger fakes. Like I said, over a dozen local swinger wanna bes have contacted me first on this very site over the years and then just up and dissapeared. I can think of several who have not been online since I responded to their queries. It is what it is.

Logan WV
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You can believe its utter nonsense if you want, but I can think of over a dozen females and couples at this point who contacted me on SLS and when I replied that I was interested they never logged on again, or in some cases they disposed of their account.

I know other swingers who have told me that they have experienced the same thing.

West Virginia is FILLED with what I call "fake swingers" IE people who troll for couples, females and males and when they find somebody up for fun they just can't handle it and drop off the internet.

I spoke to a couple in a neighboring state about this same thing the other night.

Logan WV
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There are a lot of fakes out there.

Years ago, when I got into the lifestyle, I made a committment that I was in it for real. This meant that if the opportunity came up, I was gonna act on it come hell or high water. I'd rather perform with somebody that may not be my cup of tea than I would to dissapoint and get a bad rep in the swinging community.

It works the other way around too. I have been contacted by single females and couples that inquired about hooking up and when I said, "yes, I am interested" I have been stood up, or more frequently, the other party just drops off the face of the internet, LOL. I think there are a lot of people out there who are in love with the idea of being a swinger, but when push comes to shove, they freak out and panic. Single males, single females and couples. They have watched a lot of porn, fantasized about it, but when reality and fantasy interact, they cannot handle it. So they waffle, they pull a no show, or more often, they just stop contacting you. I wish it was not that way, but it is. Life is too short to not do what you want. If you want to swing, go do it.

Logan WV
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Hey well I know plenty of couples that are just this way as well , mostly it seem just the male half, all they seem to want to do is chat about what you would do and what he would want to see & then ask you to open all your pics :)

Baltimore MD
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easiest way for a single guy to get somewhere in the swinger world is to attend a party that is open to single guys. That is how you network and make friends, and the only thing you have to do is show up, not be pushy, and just go with the flow of things.

Manassas Park VA
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"I can be a level headed nymphomaniac! LOL"

Now my sexy Shell, I know you are much more than that :)

Baltimore MD
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I can be a level headed nymphomaniac! LOL

Oh boy, If that is not a crock of.... Oh, it's my baby.. You tell em babe.... Just watch for the lighting bolt near the Laptop sexy.. J/K Kisses babe

Jay

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(23989 posts)
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TOPIC: Why is it the single males chicken out
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