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Why is it the single males chicken out : Swingers Discussion 7091110111
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FORUMSSuccessful SwingingAchieving Single Male SuccessWhy is it the single males chicken out
TOPIC: Why is it the single males chicken out
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I am a single male who has been in the lifestyle for a little over 3 years now. Yes, still a newcomer in many ways. I am well aware of where I sit on the SLS food chain and I am not arguing the fact. It is what it is. I have had a couple of very nice encounters one with a couple and one with a married lady playing with permission - yes, I checked thoroughly...LOL I always reply when e-mailed or IM'd and if I promise to be there, I am there. However, more and more I am running into couple profiles where they profess a seduction fantasy with an outside male. Everything is handled through the husband. I have discussed it at length with several including very detailed ideas of where and when and how. Then, the gentleman disappears and never returns another e-mail or IM. I am very respectful of all and understand that feelings and ideas change, but have the decency to tell us so.

Graniteville SC
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Are these single males single,,, or are they trying ruin it for the real singles.???????????????. Think about it.

Newmarket Canada
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Obviously or so i thought. I was making a generalization.

There are plenty of legitimate people and plenty of times that legitimate reasons come up to have to cancel. We've done it ourselves.

I may sound like one in the forums but we're not hardass jerks.

But we have been doing this long enough to see a pattern and can usually spot when something is bs or not.

Its just a fact that we find most single men do not end up showing.

A phone call with an apology and sounding sincere, would never be a problem for us. But thats rarely the case.

Most of the time its simply cold feet. Which that too is understandable.

But its very frustrating to alter our schedule, make arrangements, shower, shave and get halfway to where we are meeting and get a "i just got called into work" text from someone who is a cashier at walmart.

I have a dozen employees. Try even getting one to answer the phone on their day off let alone drop everything (sex especially) and run into work on 5 minutes notice.

There are exceptions to every thing i wrote. I realize that.

But no doubt i was poking fun at real red flags though.

And were talking "single" men. We are much more inclined to believe couples if they cancel. Which is extremely rare to have happen last minute.

Ive gotten heat for saying we dont automatically exclude cheaters and such. Thats because we dont automatically exclude honesty.......with us......yes they are lying to someone.

Excluding certain groups like cheaters and bi guys in my opinion encourages them to be lezs than truthful. And the fact is those 2 groups make up a very large portion of the people you find on here.

The odds are very dgood if you play with single men, you will likely be with ones who are not sjngle. Me, id rather have that on the table. Have them say, "i cant get away from the wife" instead of "im stuck at work" and 2 hours later they're jerking off on cam cause wifey went to bed finally.

If most single men kept their commitments we wouldnt be having this discussion.

I just pointed out what i believe are the common reasons they dont.

Mount Juliet TN
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"This site is for fun, if you aren't having fun then leave. "

good to see that you have changed your outlook since your first couple of posts which were very negative about the lifestyle.

PG

Louisville KY
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"kids SD"? huh??

Visalia CA
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PG, I can say Memphis has alot to offer. Spent three night there a year ago.

Tina

Columbus OH
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"My job" - Oh yes, god forbid someone finds out you have sex. That'll get you fired. Unless everyone is a politician.**

You don't have to be a politician nor married to have a morality clause in your work contract. You are simply ignorant of the positions out there that require it. Some people's work is extremely high profile, and they do not have to be politicians.

**"Roommates" - Wife and kids**

While we don't use such dumb excuses, we do not entertain at home. We leave room for others to be of the same mindset. Not everyone is comfortable with bringing strangers that they met into their home.

**"Daytime play" - Wife work days I dont**

I addressed that in a post below. People have different schedules. This is not a give away.

**"Got called into work cant make it" - Wife stayed home tonight I cant get out

"Got stuck at work" - Wife made dinner plans for us **

Non sense, we've had to cancel due to baby sitting issues that came up last minute. And indeed had to cancel because my husband actually did get stuck at work, as above, if it can happened to us, why can't it happened to others, single or married?

"no call no show" - Oh wow, Im really going to have to get naked with these ppl? Yikes!**

We've had no show and no call from couples, quite a few times. People are people, manners and all that is sometimes a foreign concept. In another case we got stood up because they actually got into a car accident to meet us. I hated that I didn't believe them, because it turned out to be true.

Singles are no different than married couples. Unfortunately, there is no way to weed them out. You just go with it. As to us? in each case, we always have a back-up plant, and the fact that we meet them in NYC is wonderful. We wind up having a blast regardless.

Rumson NJ
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Discretion - Dont call or text me, my wife might see

"My job" - Oh yes, god forbid someone finds out you have sex. That'll get you fired. Unless everyone is a politician.

"Roommates" - Wife and kids

"Roommates alternate" - Parents

"Daytime play" - Wife work days I dont

"Got called into work cant make it" - Wife stayed home tonight I cant get out

"Got stuck at work" - Wife made dinner plans for us

"Email only" - Wife gets the phone bill

"no call no show" - Oh wow, Im really going to have to get naked with these ppl? Yikes!

Then the others:

I blew my load thinking about it now im not horny. I was horny a week ago but now Im not feeling it. I dont really match my pics Im not really 9.5 inches I cant "go for hours" Im not an "oral god" I really do have to play with the guy part of the bi couple

And overall regardless of the "common reputation" guys are like most people. Most are not as straight up and able to have "sex on demand" and "always ready to fuck" like you commonly think. They can be just as shy and nervous as anyone else.

I know even me, being experienced, and not a shy person. Playing as a single, I still would get that rush and bit of anxiety when it went from talking about it to, "Im getting showered and have to meet them at 7"

There were times I would have to push back my initial anxiety and thought to cancel to go through with it.

And im not a newbie. So I imagine for guys who have never done it before, its not as easy.

I think thats the number one thing honestly. Once it becomes "real" it can be intimidating.

I just wish more were honest about it and didnt make up BS. I/we would never get mad at or exclude someone who just said "Guys, now that the time is here, Im not sure Im ready"

Instead of telling us you got mandated to come into work at 11 pm as a waiter at Cracker Barrel.

Mount Juliet TN
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It's definitely not easy, is it?


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some day maybe I will get to Memphis...

But not to sound whiny or anything but I don't know why it is so hard to find a single male within a reasonable distance from me...

PG

Louisville KY
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TOPIC: Why is it the single males chicken out