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FORUMS › Successful Swinging › Achieving Single Male Success › Why is it the single males chicken out
TOPIC: Why_is_it_the_single_males_chicken_out
Created by: 4playlovers
Original Starting post for this thread:
It makes no sense to me at all when I read about single men being so mistreated.. even though they really are in the forums. I am really starting to believe there is no such thing as a single male that will meet us! Maybe it is us...

Look, we rarely seek singles in the lifestyle but when we do the females are far more likely to show than the males! Who would have thunk... 4 years in the lifestyle, we may have courted 10 to 12 single males and not one has done what they say they were going to do... SHOW UP FOR THE FIRST DATE! Much less even call to say they were lost or late or something.

Now we have courted two single females and both not only did show up but we hit it off very well.

This is not a desperation plea as we do find a way to meet some great people on the site but we are so darn puzzled by what we expected to be the opposite in this lifestyle!

We welcome your thoughts and tips on what we may be doing wrong...

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"There seems to be a raging paranoia about talking to married single guys. "

Fixed it for you buddy. I think you found not paranoia, but you are on to something totally different. ;-)

Good luck!

~Allen

Charles Town WV
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Single males are plentiful, single females are not. This means couples get to choose from a wide selection of single males and they get to be choosy. The flip side is that single females get to do the same. This is where my opinions will get me into trouble. In our experience there is a reason some of the single females are single. There is a reason some of the single males are single. Since 2008 we have had 4 successful encounters with single females (meaning that eventually there was a sexual encounter between all parties involved) Of those 4, 2 of the women turned out to be socially challenged? This was not apparent at first (obviously) and only discovered later in the relationship. Since 2004 we have had about the same number of successful encounters with single males, and all 4 we are still in contact with. To be fair though, one is sort of challenged in the work ethic department, but displays no mental limitations, just a very relaxed attitude towards career progression. Back to the topic, when contacting Single males, we get about a 30-70 return on contact and response, even when they initiate contact. The ratio of actually meeting is far lower. So for every single male we contact when we are in that mood, we might actually get to meet 1 in 10 of those we contact, and the wife is pretty particular, so of those we actually meet, maybe 1 in 5 will tickle her fancy. We have actually found more success in the MFM department by borrowing known quantities from within our circle of friends. Ironically, it is much harder to convince the husbands to allow the FMF situations in the same manner.

Augusta GA
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It's not sexism. Single females are a much rarer bird than SMs.

More couples are looking for SFs because they want FMF play. Not as many want MFM, or they want full swap with another couple, something SMs don't offer

Most SMs are also looking for SFs or the fem half of a couple, not other SMs

It's basic math, not sexism

~rabbit~

New Orleans LA
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Weird. I have never "no showed" for anything in my life. We talk. We chat. Things sound good. Invite me to meet and I'll be there. Not a difficult thing to do.

Although... it would be nice to be invited to something in the first place. Just sayin'. There seems to be a raging paranoia about talking to single guys. If you can talk to single women easily, why not single men, too? Sexism is alive and well in the world of swinging, I guess.

Sad.

Gaithersburg MD
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Seems like most everything in the Lifestyle.....it's a numbers game....gotta wade through the crap to find the sugar.

Hilton Head SC
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Talk about no shows. Try scheduling a gang bang. We have to invite 20 guys to get 4 or 5 to show up- if we're lucky. It's hard to figure out.

Manchester NH
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Talk about no shows. Try scheduling a gang bang. We have to invite 20 guys to get 4 or 5 to show up- if we're lucky. It's hard to figure out.

Manchester NH
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Finally found out the truth about a party I cohosted some 5 years ago , in vegas ,,, thanks assholes,,, I am getting the last laff .Fake couples, cheaters and then some.

Bradford Canada
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I would say why some will chicken out at the last min. These are my list of what I think.

1.) They might have a woman at home and she don't know that he is doing this.

2.) He want to meet the wife alone without the husband being their.

3.) Feels uncomfortable that another man is their watching or participate in the action.

4.) He want the pussy for himself and do not share.

Somebody who think that is going to work are going to loose the battle point blank. Men who do that should be thankful to meet a nice couple and play by their rules only. Make no sense of trying add something up in the mix that do not fit their preference.

Athens GA
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@twintip - You're supposedly a couple, but have a single male profile? I suppose that's better than a single male having a couples profile. (We see that a lot.)

Wailuku HI
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TOPIC: Why is it the single males chicken out
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