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FORUMS › Successful Swinging › Achieving Single Male Success › Why is it the single males chicken out
TOPIC: Why_is_it_the_single_males_chicken_out
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I think BT has covered most if not all of the bases. Being overly anxious is a real fucking turn off, at least for me, which is why I had SM blocked for a while. I prefer quality rather than numerous hook-ups which mean nothing but a notch on one's belt. Just breathe.....it will all come together.

Vero Beach FL
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The TriFecta! Triple newbie Fora posters! Welcome one and all!!

As I see it, guys who know what they want and don't want out of these experiences tend to look at potential encounters from the standpoint of abundance versus scarcity. If you know what you're seeking, and you're patient and mature enough to look for, and wait for what you seek, you will never cancel, unless life throws you a curveball. In those cases, if you do the right thing, most of the time people will understand and you'll reschedule.

In my opinion, the problems start when SMs rush into things, thinking its now or never. (Scarcity vs Abundance). They approach, or are approached by a SF or Couple, connect via email, get a green light, and then get for lack of better words, so boned-up about the potential encounter that they can't see straight, and haven't thought through 1) if they're truly attracted to the other party, or 2) if they can actually go through with turning what had been up until this point a fantasy into reality. Of course, there's always 3) they've misrepresented themselves, and in meeting, they'd obviously be coming clean.

Any way you look at it, the situation sucks for the SFs and Couples...and the SMs who actually walk the walk.

Again, welcome gents.

BT

New Orleans LA
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There are a couple of points I'd like to hit on. First, this is an online social network so a lot of people, both couples and singles, are not exactly who they claim to be or what they really look like. I find that to be mostly true on any social website. Second, there are a lot more single men here compared to single women. Therefore, there will be a lot more no shows by single males.

I, on the other hand, have had the same problems with couples. I'm a single male and many couples contact me wanting to set up a time to meet and play. Emails and texts will go back and forth for a couple weeks and when it's time to meet they can't get a sitter, or all communication stops just before the meeting day, or they are a no show. I have only been able to meet a handful of couples and only play consistently play with less than that. I think it's just the nature of this beast.

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That is a question to the ones who chicken out, in my opinion. Look, we all get last minute life changes, or even cold feet. That shouldn't excuse not meeting one's commitment, meaning, if I promise to be somewhere, I need to be professional enough and show up. In my profile I do say that I am not here to be judged by the action of all single males, only my own. I have 100% show-up rate, because I value time, mine and those I am meeting.

On the other side of the question, I get probably 1% reply rate to my messages to couples. If I wasn't secured and confident, that can easily discourage me from further activities.

Cheers!

Denver CO
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I have heard that before about single males not showing.

I have never not showed! I want to meet the person or couple I have been talking to!....

Okemos MI
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We are speaking in general; not specifics....LOL

Vero Beach FL
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BLT... never been an issue with me .. as you know first hand .. :)

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Perhaps they get cold feet. That's pretty normal I think.

Vero Beach FL
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Thread moved here from Swinging Single

Coral Springs FL
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Many posters say that nice guys finish last, mmmmm ok I finish first than move on to the next woman ,then I am not last but still going, some say I am like the bunny rabbit, keeps on humping. but not first or last. As for meeting and keeping my arrangement to meet . *I allows do*, but it seems it's the singles and some couple's who do not show. ohhhh well next.

Bradford Canada
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TOPIC: Why is it the single males chicken out
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