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TOPIC: Why_is_it_the_single_males_chicken_out
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The single males who chicken out are NOT single. :)

Wailuku HI
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888 how right you are.. we have met so many couples if only for drinks and some we just talked but did not play with... they wanted us to Cert them and asked if we wanted one.. Told them we don't do Certs.. and how can you cert someone you didn't even know or play with? WTF ? We can find out pretty quickly if one is real in the lifestyle.. I also love the ones that promise to meet or call and you say okay see you at XYZ or call at this time... then they have some excuse or just don't call.. DONE.... MEANS BLOCK... for us.

Woodstock GA
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"Only hook up with people with certs!"

Okay, that one is horse fecal at best. Not to break OT, I will tell a little story explaining why. We went out with another couple with 12 certs and can attest to people not telling anything about them except they possibly played. This couple changed venue when we were in route to the first agreed meeting spot. Okay we're dressed, babysitter reserved and paid. So we went to the place THEY changed it to., Yes, we had an enjoyable evening at the table, so we scheduled a night out with play if all went well on the outing. The place we agreed upon was the first place again. We were there for 40+ minutes and get a text that they were shopping for BBQ sauce for tomorrow's game and would be another hour. WTF! A certed couple? Why would they think that was okay and okay to share with us? The Mrs sends a text back that she felt second to BBQ sauce. They text back the place doesn't open until 9pm. So now they are saying we are lying or not there. I told them google was showing their old management hours and if they had showed up on time, they would see the "Open" sign at their LCD display board by the road, a neon one by the entry door and if they ventured inside, us having a drink. I sent one, now paying and if they make it there now, they can watch us leave. Then I sent a pic of the cash out receipt at the bar and told them to enjoy each other's company.

You make a good point of keeping contact if late for the meet. We even point to that in our profile now.

So, in short, certs don't always tell, but don't leave it out in factoring. Besides, you start with 0 certs anyway, so the logic behind that is flawed.

Charles Town WV
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(1292 posts)
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Wow, single guys like the ones mentioned in most of the posts here are a disappointment to the rest of us, decent single men! I can't understand why anyone (SM, SF or a couple) would make plans they don't intend on keeping. Why is meeting another couple/SM/SF any different from a meeting in our professional life? Last time I checked, if I were at work and had a meeting I would have to 1. Show up as planned, or 2. call ahead with adequate time to reschedule, or 3. if it is truly a last minute thing, still show up even if 10 or 15 minutes late, granted I informed the party waiting for me.

As another post mentioned, there in no sure way to tell the fakes/flakes from the genuine people in the Lifestyle. and I totally agree on these points which may help in a future situation: 1. Paid single members should be a tad safer bet than free members 2. Schedule a meeting for as near future as possible. Things tend to come up if the meeting is two or more weeks out 3. Insist on voice verification!. People act more real when they know there is a real person on the other side 4. Only hook up with people with certs! Someone else has done the testing for you, and if a person receives constant positive certs, you are less likely going to deal with a fake. 5. Couples: share your encounters with other couples through IM (or messages). If you dealt with a nice SM/SF mention it to each others just as you should share fake/flake experiences.

For the life of me I can't fathom the existence of such men! I truly come alive when I meet a LS couple, for the fun and lively conversation and topics, regardless of whether the play materializes or not.

Good luck everyone!

Denver CO
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Yes but in all fairness with all the negative ones... the ones we have found are definitely keepers and gentleman that just get it... and yes they have plenty game, and treat her like she deserves every time.. alone or with me. So my hats off to those special few! Thanks !

Woodstock GA
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We're in your same boat 4playlovers. Single males are, from our experience, unreliable. We are also four years into this and have found the same thing...but we still haven't lost hope in "Her" enjoying more than one man to play with. Single males NEED to grasp the concepts of being honest, have a little class (at least a little), and be able to perform.

Beaufort SC
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@kinky:

We have a couple SM we call on occasionally, yet use couples now for achieving what we needed a SM/SF for. So much easier swapping out for ffm, mfm, fmf etc.... and a whole bunch more combos. We are lucky to have a group of LS friends that play well together and do outings outside. Last night at the club, the Mrs found herself in a mfm while I was about 8ft away enjoying a ffm in the same room, which ended up in a mfffm and a M voyuering in the corner.

The Mrs blocked SMs recently due to often flagging and/or rudeness. Seems most don't learn from their mistakes or take the time to read or google.

~Allen

Charles Town WV
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(1292 posts)
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Wasn't actually seeking advice but thanks.

I see this as 100% their issue not ours.

I just wanted to vent because we had a meet set up for today and suddenly no more communication. I'm not holding my breath.

Monroe WI
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(11 posts)
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kinkykd, welcome to the forums and sorry for your run of bad luck with SMs.

it is unfortunately common not only for SMs but across the board for flake/no shows and dropping all communication fairly close to an actual scheduled meet.

as others have pointed out, there's no sure fire way to determine if a SM, SF, or couple is going to flake or leave (you) hanging, but a few things can help:

*paid membership

*photos (full body clothed and if asked face pics)

*willing to keep communications on the site

*doesn't ask or push for communications off the site

*at least one cert, and, when you check the profile of the person(s) who gave the cert, that profile also looks legit and "normal"

*is willing to either voice verify and/or meet "no expectations" fairly soon

*IF they have to cancel or postpone, does it in such a way to reassure they are sincere

also, as previously pointed out--meet n greets, parties, clubs: get out at least a few times, and even if you don't meet with hubba hubba playfriends, lifestyle non-play friendships can yield great opportunities for referrals.

good luck!

Bridgewater NJ
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(9678 posts)
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I was just about to post a rant about single guys and saw this so I'll throw my thoughts here.

Single guys are pissing me off! We are very open to SMs, in fact, that's 99% of what we are looking for. However, we have not played for months. Why? Because every single guy we have been in contact with recently has either left us hanging at our first meet or simply quit communicating a day or 2 before the planned meet.

The number of "flat tires" and "car problems " leaves us wondering how any guy ever makes it to work! We will rarely give these guys a second chance and only if they let us know ahead of time they are not going to make it. Personally I would rather hear "I'm too nervous" or "I hot a better offer" than nothing.

SMs, if you don't want a bad rap them live up to your plans. We ALWAYS want a first meet to be causal and with no expectations and that is made clear in our in Initial contact. No pressure. If you don't like us no biggie.

Have some respect for the people who you are asking to take the time to meet you.

Monroe WI
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(11 posts)
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TOPIC: Why is it the single males chicken out
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