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Why I'm a Unicorn -- My Intro to Swinging at Age 19 : Swingers Discussion 66346
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TOPIC: Why I'm a Unicorn -- My Intro to Swinging at Age 19
Created by: KinkyInDelaware
Original Starting post for this thread:
Hi Folks.... I guess I wanted to post somewhere, and this is the closest I could come. Some of you may have noticed that I have real issues trusting couples who want only a third, female. Here we go, my introduction to swinging.

I was 19, a student in my first year of college, like so many I was exploring my sexuality, but since I already knew I was bi, dominatrix, what was left... poly or swinging. So I was perusing the ads on Craigslist (yes, in CA, CL existed even way back then) and I came accross a couple seeking a special girl for the wife's birthday. I contacted them, they were older (late 30's early 40's, married for like 12 years) had kids, and seemed stable in the relationship and what they wanted, full threesom, everyone sharing equally, no sexual limits, very few BDSM limits. Great.

So we arrange to meet up for drinks, and karaoke at the local el torito. Make sure we get along and are comfortable. Even back then I knew the woman needed more validation than the guy, so I spent more of my attention on her, he mostly sat back and watched. I thought this was just him letting us get comfortable. So we go back to their hotel, I break out my bag of tricks, full of my ropes, slappers, floggers, gags, etc. We start having a little fairly vanilla fun, I think we're getting warmed up, having a good time. Well then the wife goes psycho the first second her husband touches one of my tits. She throws a fit, calling me mean names, saying that for the rest of the night, he can't touch me, I can't touch him, and we can only both focus on her.

Excuse me? So, ok, I'm a good sport, and it is her birthday, I try to deal with it, but one of my hands ends up on his ass when I was going for hers. She flips out and slaps me. That's it! You assault me, game over.

I looked at him and said sorry, I can't deal with this psycho shit, I'm outta here. She went into the bathroom, he begged me to stay, I expressed that I was not going to take her shit. He explained that she'd been begging him to set something like this up foir years, he refused because he knew she was too jealous and insecure to handle it. So I looked at him and said "well, I'm pissed, I'm not sticking around unless we teach her a lesson" (no one said I was mature, hell I was half their age)

Well the long and the short of it is I didn't do anything else to her, but I told the husband what he could do to make me willing to stay, and he did it. He tied her up to a chair, and gagged her. Then we got back to it, just the two of us, when she stopped watching, I told him to slap her and make her watch, this was all her idea to begin with. After a few hours of mind numbing sex, and an hour of cuddling asleep to recover, he ungagged her, she immediately started bitching, he looked at me, I looked at him and shrugged. He stuck the gag back in her mouth, asked how much the gag and rope cost me, and bought them from me. I packed up the rest of my bag, sat down and gave her a lecture about being a bitch about what you want, cuz sometimes you might get it.

All of the acts were within the originally defined limits, but her captivity was non consensual, and wrong.

This experience troubled me on so many levels, and damaged my ability to trust women for many years (very rough on a bisexual woman) Now I'm very cautious about only playing with those who know they can handle it. I recently met a couple through mutual friends who have restored my faith in couples, and they are now my lovers and best friends, but that first experience is always with me. Because of it,, I think, at least at first, I prefer to play with someone I already know and love, who I can count on to provide me with emotional safety......

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This kind of stuff is inevitable, unfortunately, because there are people who try their hand at the Lifestyle when they are simply not suited to it.

Us veterans have all seen

--the women who lie there looking sullen because they really want no part of it --the couples who really only want another woman and lie to other couples to get them in a closed room where they can grope the wife --the men who were gung ho until they saw how much their wives were getting off on another man, then went apeshit with jealousy --people who claim to be bisexual to get in your pants but really aren't --the man who gets pissed when a woman clearly thinks his wife is a better lover than he is --the couple who agree enthusiastically to play but end up fighting with each other before a very uncomfortable audience

Sure, this shit happens. But my wonderful experiences, and especially my good friends, vastly outweigh it. There are immature assholes in any community.

Springfield VA
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And here's why I remain a unicorn. After only a few emails, a man invited me to double team him with his wife with my strap on, without even establishing if I had ANY interest in playing with them at all. For someone who read my profile carefully, clearly SOMETHING got missed. (oh, and I was trying to be nice in my response, sometimes I wish I really WAS the bitch I play on TV) I mean come on, at least ask "do you have any interest in playing sometime?" I really attempt to answer every email I am sent, because that's how my sense of honor works, but come on..... Anyway, thought I'd put an example up of how NOT to appeal to me to play. (and the nice part about being single is, it's all about me .. or me and my friends, but if I don't know you from adam, if we've never met..... gimme a break)

THEM TO ME 2006-09-24 20:33:00 Liked your profile Just wanted to say I liked your profile. XXXX'snickname for me is XXXX so she liked the city state combo. If you like our profile, we'd love to hear from you. XXXX

ME TO THEM 2006-09-24 20:38:00 Liked_your_profile Hey There, Thanks for the note, you guys sound like great people. Mistress Heather

THEM TO ME 2006-09-24 23:11:00 Liked_your_profile Thanks. We like the bike. XXXX almost bought a scooter in June, but no safe place to park round here. We bought a new car instead. Also, I went into shock at seeing how she was too short for most cycles. XXXX THEM TO ME 2006-09-25 22:29:00 Hey Heather Just wanted to say hi. XXXX has never been to DE and I haven't been there for a while myself. If you are free around Columbus Day, we would like to see you. XXXX has a strap on, and maybe you two can double team me if you wish. XXXX

Bear DE
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WOW....

Now that's one for the books, I must say. My first couple was a nightmare!! Everything was going well, as far as I could tell. The wife and I were making-out and no problem was seen.

But, as she went down on me. I could see him getting upset. The next thing I know, I close my eyes and open them again. He he comes with a fist through the air.

SELF-DEFENSE 101: Deflect... Strike...

I break his nose, and she almost bit my dick off. Well it all was down hill from there. The cops were called, by the motel clerk. For the rukus that ensued.

And who do you think the cops believed??? The couple....W.T.F.....Was it just for the fact of the 2 against 1. Or because I was from out-of-town, and just looking to have some fun... And just when you think you know someone...

So for this reason I am so leery, as to. Who I meet and who I play with from that day forth.....

Essex MD
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Your story is also the type of drama that many try to avoid by not getting involved with newbies.

Thank you for sharing.

Sandston VA
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Although I hate to generalize, this is one reason that I like to swing single-there is such a greater chance of interpersonal conflict and drama in the couple swap scene. In order to be successful and avoid bad experiences in the Lifestyle, you have to develop a skill for reading people and identifying the bad experiences befoe they happen.

Memphis TN
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excellent post.

reminds me of our misadventures when we started 10 years ago. the wife of the other couple got possesive over me and FLIPPED out and left her husband when we told them we had a 3 sum with my wifes best friend the night before. she was after me and my wife had an inclination but i didnt have a clue as i was just horned up that another woman really wanted me sexually.

that put a big damper on things and my wife is not one to trust another woman but she wanted to try again and so we met a great couple married for 25 years and she left her hubby for another man 6 months later and now we are just now looking again for a last try for serious people and not somebody shopping for another spouse.

Niagara Falls NY
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Hi Folks.... I guess I wanted to post somewhere, and this is the closest I could come. Some of you may have noticed that I have real issues trusting couples who want only a third, female. Here we go, my introduction to swinging.

I was 19, a student in my first year of college, like so many I was exploring my sexuality, but since I already knew I was bi, dominatrix, what was left... poly or swinging. So I was perusing the ads on Craigslist (yes, in CA, CL existed even way back then) and I came accross a couple seeking a special girl for the wife's birthday. I contacted them, they were older (late 30's early 40's, married for like 12 years) had kids, and seemed stable in the relationship and what they wanted, full threesom, everyone sharing equally, no sexual limits, very few BDSM limits. Great.

So we arrange to meet up for drinks, and karaoke at the local el torito. Make sure we get along and are comfortable. Even back then I knew the woman needed more validation than the guy, so I spent more of my attention on her, he mostly sat back and watched. I thought this was just him letting us get comfortable. So we go back to their hotel, I break out my bag of tricks, full of my ropes, slappers, floggers, gags, etc. We start having a little fairly vanilla fun, I think we're getting warmed up, having a good time. Well then the wife goes psycho the first second her husband touches one of my tits. She throws a fit, calling me mean names, saying that for the rest of the night, he can't touch me, I can't touch him, and we can only both focus on her.

Excuse me? So, ok, I'm a good sport, and it is her birthday, I try to deal with it, but one of my hands ends up on his ass when I was going for hers. She flips out and slaps me. That's it! You assault me, game over.

I looked at him and said sorry, I can't deal with this psycho shit, I'm outta here. She went into the bathroom, he begged me to stay, I expressed that I was not going to take her shit. He explained that she'd been begging him to set something like this up foir years, he refused because he knew she was too jealous and insecure to handle it. So I looked at him and said "well, I'm pissed, I'm not sticking around unless we teach her a lesson" (no one said I was mature, hell I was half their age)

Well the long and the short of it is I didn't do anything else to her, but I told the husband what he could do to make me willing to stay, and he did it. He tied her up to a chair, and gagged her. Then we got back to it, just the two of us, when she stopped watching, I told him to slap her and make her watch, this was all her idea to begin with. After a few hours of mind numbing sex, and an hour of cuddling asleep to recover, he ungagged her, she immediately started bitching, he looked at me, I looked at him and shrugged. He stuck the gag back in her mouth, asked how much the gag and rope cost me, and bought them from me. I packed up the rest of my bag, sat down and gave her a lecture about being a bitch about what you want, cuz sometimes you might get it.

All of the acts were within the originally defined limits, but her captivity was non consensual, and wrong.

This experience troubled me on so many levels, and damaged my ability to trust women for many years (very rough on a bisexual woman) Now I'm very cautious about only playing with those who know they can handle it. I recently met a couple through mutual friends who have restored my faith in couples, and they are now my lovers and best friends, but that first experience is always with me. Because of it,, I think, at least at first, I prefer to play with someone I already know and love, who I can count on to provide me with emotional safety......

Bear DE
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(160 posts)
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TOPIC: Why I'm a Unicorn -- My Intro to Swinging at Age 19