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What is the stigma with single males : Swingers Discussion 68766
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TOPIC: What is the stigma with single males
Created by: hungand4real The original post for this thread was deleted.
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Most of the meet-n-greets around here take place during the club parties, so to meet someone you would have to attend the meet-n-greet, but to attend it you would have to be invited by someone there, and to meet someone there you would have to meet them...thus the entire point of the meet-n-greet. As Cherokee Chick said, single guys get a bad wrap when it's not always warranted. The actions of any person, male or female, have to do with their personality, not whether or not they are in a relationship.

Raleigh NC
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We do play with single guys, that means truly single, and we enjoy it when we find one that understands what swinging is. However im not so sure 'training them how to go about is a good idea. If the guy is worth playing with he should already know how to be respectful and how to treat a lady and the husband that is sharing the love of his life.Thier are plenty of cpls that dont have a clue either though. Also, you single men might be very surprized at how many times us cpls get no replies too. Finding compatible cpls i think can be almost as hard as it is for a single man that is approaching things right.The club we attend does allow single men and to be honest, we have had much, much more problems with rude male halfs of a cpl than by the singles there.I think a lot of us feel singled out at times, must be our age, or weight, our looks.

Repton AL
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HI! So can I say good things about single guys??? We just had our first experience with a single man this past weekend. He was absolutely lovely! Showed my husband his due and proper respect ..and that bears repeating because it made all the difference in the world. Guys who don't come up to him, talk to him, make him feel just as important and not a tag along, won't get anywhere.

Our lovely gentleman was sincere and nice, well spoken and genuine. We had a great time!! Now I know it says no single guys in our profile...yup it does...But you will also see they aren't blocked either. When we are looking for it, we'll go find it just like many of the single guys on here mentioned! Don't go panting and drooling around like a hound dog howling at the moon over a woman in heat. There are a few single guys on here who intrigue me and whom I'd love to meet. What woman doesn't want to have the attentions of more than one man at a time??? Good Luck to all of you! Play it cool...be "the Man" (and you guys know who you are..wink wink) and let the couples who are looking for you, find you when the time is right.

M(she) PS TT its too bad you aren't closer....*sigh*

New Castle PA
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This issue is one that's always going to be a constant see-saw of views on the topic.

The way I see it, we are all adults and entitled to our own opinions on things. So if someone isn't interested in someone, then that's their perogative. There are two things that burn me though.

Couples that say that they are interested in meeting new people but don't bother to return messages to people even if it's just to say they aren't interested. It is very rude...atleast have the decency to treat the person as a human being and acknowledge them.

The other is the "rules" most clubs have regarding single guys. Generally the first rule of the club regarding single guys is...no single guys. That is a complete slap in the face to single guys. If the people attending the parties aren't interested in single guys, then all they have to do is say so if approached. To completely ban single guys from attending is saying that regardless of what any of the couples think of single guys, it doesn't matter because the club has decided that no one there would be interested. If a couple can't make that decision for themselves without having it made for them by the club, then they don't belong in the lifestyle. Part of being adults is making our own decisions.

Just remember, before anyone was part of a couple, they were single too. It's not some contageous condition you'll contract by talking to one of us.

Raleigh NC
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"Talk about performance problems...I could write some interesting threads on how some married males (over the years) get all jacked up about having a MFM with the wife and myself (or one of my friends)...just to find themselves being relegated to "watch status"...so do don't even go there. Nobody has the high road on that issue."

Except we aren't talking about married guys that play as a couple. As a single guy playing with a married couple is the experience ruined for you if the married guy can't get it up? It's probably better as you get her more to yourself.

As far as finding good single guys. It used to be hard for us. Actually, now it's pretty easy. Experience, Experience, Experience. Start from there and then add any additional criteria and more often than not it will be a good meeting. Find a guy with lots of good testimonials and lots of good pics of him with various couples and you have your foundation. Then you add in personality, chemistry, and physical attributes. Any single guy with those qualities we've always had a good time with.

Most single guys don't have those qualities and most couples in search of single guys probably don[t know what to look for. The end result is a bunch of message board posts about how single guys can't cut it. I've never once heard any complaints from single guys about how the husband couldn't get it up. :)

Newport News VA
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Well,

heres my two cents,

As a single, i get shunted soley for the blue dot, now that being said, i often overcome that by taking time to chat, laugh and generaly have a great time despite the stigma. After folks get to know you, see you, etyc it becaomes easier to have fun and be invited to play.

Not many rockets out of the gate here.....takes a while to build but then its a lot of fun to be there too

Concord NH
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"There is no stigma with single males, it's the paronia that feeds the couples, becaues all they spew from behind a keyboard is Single Guys Suck."

That's not true at all. First of all most couples probably aren't even interested in singles guys so they have no experience. We've played exclusively for 5 years with just single guys. I can say for a fact what they say about most single guys is true. Half do not show up. That's been our experience and tons of other couples experience. For the ones that do half of those have trouble performing. I've seen it time and time again. But take out all of those and we have had a lot of great experiences with single guys. But let me say it's a pain in the ass finding the good ones. But the stigma is definitely true.

Newport News VA
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There are a lot of guys out there that claim not to be who they are. Its one that no matter how much one dicusses, pleads, etc..theres no getting over it enmasse...only on a case by case basis.

Too bad by the time they call my nuber ill be at the airport...:(

Concord NH
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I'll tell you why single men are stigmatized. Just this week I'm talking to a single male. GOOD looking, handsome, hot, all that. So after weeks of talking back and forth J and I talked and said heck with it. So Jay emails him to meet for a drink, maybe more if the chemistry is there. LITERALLY 2 days before we meet he throws this bomb on me.

"I am married. My wife just says she doesnt want to know. Is that okay with you?"

NO!

Now this entire time he has talked like he is a single male, profile is single. THIS is why there is a stigma. Shelly


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GADFREY ZOOKS.!!, I'd think I'd run too. no wonder the honest males that are trying to share some pleasure are having a difficult time . Wish some folks wouldn't say anything. my 2 cents worth....

Warren PA
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TOPIC: What is the stigma with single males