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What can a single male do to attract more couples or find a partner in this life : Swingers Discussion 45734101
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FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsSwinging SingleWhat can a single male do to attract more couples or find a partner in this life
TOPIC: What can a single male do to attract more couples or find a partner in this life
Created by: impala60 The original post for this thread was deleted.
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Finding anyone for anything is 60% location, 25% timing, 14% luck, and 1% personality. Luck is out of your control and timing can be practiced to a small extent, but location and personality is something you control. You have to learn where people are IN REAL LIFE that want to swing, and if enough people in that place want to swing with single men. Then you have to go there and hope your personality is one that makes someone want to get to know you (or at least have sex with you...there's a difference).

My question comes with a comment. Most people who are successful at ANY venture seems to have forgotten the first steps they took which led to their success. Instead, they give canned responses like "Learn everything about your subject", "be respectful", "remember your place" but they don't say or don't know what they actually did that FIRST TIME to become successful. Maybe if some of the successful single men could say what those first few specific things they said or did were, others would have a little more success as well.

For myself, I recognized that a particular woman everyone said was a lesbian seemed to watch a lot of men's butts, but would shoot them down when they approached her. I went over to her and said "I just want to dance, but nobody seems to believe that. Either they get upset because they think I want to have sex with them, or they get upset when they learn I don't tonight. Since you obviously are here just to have a good time, would you like to dance the next three or four songs with me?" Well, we danced, we talked, she introduced me to her friend, the three of us talked, then I went home. A week later, she told me the place she worked needed a new singing telegram person. A month later we went on our first date, three months after that she introduced me to swinging. What did I do? I came onto her, yes. But I did it in a way that not only left us both a way to walk away without making the other feel bad, but it gave her a reason to pursue me. I'm not sure if it was the fact that I said I wasn't looking to hook up (I don't even think she believed that) or the fact that I was dancing by myself on a corner of the floor after asking several dozen women, but she took a chance. She took it! I just created the opportunity.

But thats just me. I was 19 and group sex before then was a group of us getting drunk in the dorms and not caring if someone saw us having sex. I still take that approach. Say what I'm looking for, then back away, giving them the chance to say, "I'll see what he's about" or "He's not the one I'm looking for." In my experience, you can't do more than that with just a letter, and little more than that when you meet someone face to face.

Lansing MI
 
 
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The best way to attract more couples and women is by association and referral. There is an old adage in sales that if you can help the other person get what they want, you can get what you want. Anytime you play, use your people skills to determine what your partners really want, be it sexual, mental, and/or social, and provide it to the best of your ability. The more that you consistently and successfully accomplish this, your friends will refer you to others.

Memphis TN
 
 
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Exactly Uriah. You know what Not to do as well as what to do.

Saint Augustine FL
 
 
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BacchusnLadyWife-

You just explained why it is in fact so easy for single males to make swing friends. With all of the profiles that you describe, the fit, capable, experienced men stand out like a sore thumb. That is why we are so popular. In much the same way that Republicans are thrilled that Howard Dean is head of the Democratic Party, we want more single males to establish profiles on this site.

Memphis TN
 
 
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There's so many single male threads active right now. So I just picked one since this could go anywhere. Disclaimer: we're not in the least anti-single male. I feel bad for the honest, decent ones because of what they're up against. Here's an example of what they're up against. I just went to the "new profiles awaiting approval". This is indicative of a typical exercise of reviewing and approving. * 18 profiles awaiting approval, 15 were "single males". Of the 15 single males (and the numbers won't add up because many of these occurrences are in the same profiles)

* 9 profiles had screen names indicating how large they want you to think they are or how hot they are sexually.

* 4 profiles at least honestly stated married. Naturally, their wives don't put out, are boring, etc.

* 5 more used the word discrete 3 or more times. To any newbies out there, trust me, this means married.

* 11 have the unique fantasy of 2 females.

* 3 want the husband to just watch while they give the wife the "fuck of her life". (yup, my husband will be contacting them shortly.)

* 4 had pictures. Of these 3 were cock shots only.

* Two I skipped because they were nothing but gibberish to get the first three essay questions filled in and be able to access the site.

* 8 gave absolutely no indication of anything about the man nor his desires other than he believes this is all about sex on demand. I'm sure these individuals will be shocked when they find no one is beating down their door.

Naturally a brand new profile usually needs some fleshing out as time goes on. But there were only three that I can imagine showed any thought process likely to get couples or ladies to contact them. The sad thing is, this is so typical that it does negatively impact the the single males genuinely pursuing the lifestyle. My only advice to them, is you will have to be patient. Yes, you see couple and single female profiles like this as well but the numbers are disproportionately single male.

Saint Augustine FL
 
 
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Right on Wolf, May I add as a couple when we deside to search a single male ones without photos will get skipped, cause there many more out there that do, and the last thing we are gonna do is send and email to a single we can't see.

Self dick picts, Boring Cheesy, unless you are going to cut it off and send iit on a date, show us more then that please.

Don't start a conversating with, Who is this him or her? When you IM a couple just talk to them as you would both.

Be sumbmissive to the couple showing them your serious, we often get once you open yours, I'll open mine...HA ha ...Never goes over well seeing that there were 5 singles ahead of you doing the correct steps.

Starting a conversation off with what you want and with what you wanty to do may appear to the couple that they are not being considered, Think about it, if you want to get with a couple you have to appeal to them.

Remember that most ( guessing 80%) don't want single males, and most have already delt with some asshole and we are now assuming that you will be next...Proof us wrong.

I understand it seems like a lot of ass kissing, but if you want to really get with a couple Hence the advice.

Last thing I'll add is every couple is diffrent, some hubbys may want to watch while others want to do an MFM. We often get people saying how good they are going to fuck me while hubby watches...Thats not how we play with singles so it never goes over well.

we have met and played with several, and the ones we have picked were ones that were happy do what we wanted, however once play is started and everyone is having fun, there are times where we will want to make his date a great one and will give a bit extra depending on the situation.

Good luck and hope it help.

Rumford ME
 
 
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TOPIC: What can a single male do to attract more couples or find a partner in this life