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WHY MARRIED MEN CHEAT AND POST AS SINGLES : Swingers Discussion 669671011
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TOPIC: WHY MARRIED MEN CHEAT AND POST AS SINGLES
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Why do some people cheat?

Maybe the sex was great a long time ago and now it sux really bad. Maybe a quickie once a month. She cums in a minute and you are left to jerk off while she rolls over. She doesn't even finish you off or watch.

Yes, you (I) love her dearly and don't want to leave (kids, love, money, whatever) but 2 minutes of lovemaking a month doesn't cut it. You've tried to talk, be romantic, vacations, jewelery, clothes, etc but nothing works.

I am a sexy handsome succesful man not some teenage kid who is gonna jerk off in the bathroom every day.

So, why should someone stand by and not get laid. You only live once. Should I divorce my wife cause she has mental issues. I clearly think someone who survives on two minutes of sex a month has issues. Can't leave someone cause of that.

As for this site, I have never met anyone because they all think I am a cheating douche bag. If you talked to me and heard my story you would think I am a fuckin saint. But that doesn't matter cause I do alright in real life hooking up.

So judge me or him or them but don't think for a minute that its wrong in all situations. If I didn't get any on the side then I would be divorced, broke and not the loving father to my kids who I spend many many hours with every single day and night.

Thanks for reading my rant.

Port Jefferson Station NY
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I just want to answer the original "lehman2" posting...

Guy if you have such a great loving wife such as you describe in your initial posting you are a FOOL not to give yourself to her and nurture that wonderful love... She says you are all she needs... You are crazy if you don't reciprocate... sex is not everything in life and in a situation like yours... keep that wonderful, loving woman and make her happy... forget about the lifestyle if she does not feel like it... OK? Be patient and giving.

Good luck with your relationship!

Well, I know, who am I to say these things??? But when I see a situation like yours, I feel that you two are not ready at all for the lifestyle and that it would mess you up.

Michelle

PS: would you like to play with someone like me on the side to 'relieve' your pentup sexual energy? Then you'll feel relaxed to cuddle your loving wife. I surely wouldn't mind playing with you, not for a relationship but just for the sex. Of course the question is rethorical and I'm not asking you out, but this type of solution might work for you and might keep your good marriage intact.

Sekiu WA
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Love the discussion, but for us this one's not tricky. There are lots of potentially rationalizable reasons for wanting to stay married but go outside your marriage for sex. You can even say it's a purer love than just abandoning your frigid/inaccessible spouse altogether. There are probably even some cases where that might be true.

But for most of us in the lifestyle, that means making your marriage complete with "dietary supplements". Swinging in our experiences never fixes marriages that are broken for whatever reason.

Playing in the lifestyle outside your marriage may seem like a way to relieve a bad sexual situation, but it's not. It's side-stepping the issue just as much as having an affair is. Don't rationalize why it should be OK - go to counselling with your spouse (yeah, it's a hard thing to do - harder than creating a profile) and find a way to make things whole honestly. Hats off to you for not just divorcing over the sexual aspect of your relationship which truly is secondary to kids, friendship, and love, but anyone still doing this behind their spouse's back is not dealing with whatever issues they have honestly.


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LOL ringmaster...

Windermere FL
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I didn't want to go the whole sickenss and health route because Some people don't like that part of the vows.....LOL I agree Whole heartedly about abstaining when either of us had medical issues in the past. I didn't just marry her for her Ass, Pussy and mouth . There are times I am just as happy that we are together even if sex isn't in the cards for the moment. Maybe my values are a bit warped.

Burlingham NY
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My husband has health issues. We have gone without sex for a long time because of it. I was recently in an accident , again we did not have sex for a while because of health issues. Would I ever cheat on my husband if was not able to have sex again? Not on your life. I would never go behind his back. We were married for better for worse, in sickness and in health. I enjoy swinging because we do it TOGETHER. We would not do it any other way.

Some couples do play alone, BUT with their significant others approval. I am sure they feel the same way about going behind their s/o's back. Cheating is cheating.

Augusta NJ
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Something that Struck me as odd about the Poster I just replied to was How your insinuate you are basically staying becasue you pity your spouse, not because you love them.....

Burlingham NY
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imisgoodluvin

***To you Looking ;*** since you addressed me directly I will go through this one point at a time.

*** My wife does not know of me looking for pleasure with others, nor would she condone it. I will even admit, in a moral since that it is wrong what i am doing. And if you wanted to go deeper then that, any couple in this lifestyle could be looked at as doing something wrong, if a couple is so happy, why are they boning other people??*** Our life is not boring , More to the point it is exciting so much so that we include others who are like minded to enjoy it with us. Further nor Do I have issues about lurking around behind my spouses back Looking for illicit sexual release, What we do is as a couple. So please cast your delusional Jealous aspersions elsewhere.

***I seriously don't want to debate this at all, there are allot of ways to look at this, it just depends on who to are and how you think.***

why do you not want to debate this issue??? You stated already you are lurking around seeking sex with others behind your spouses back without thier knowledge.... but do you think about what repercussions sexual activity may also bring with it the chance of exposing yourself to many different sexual diseases, that you may as well expose to your spouse unknowingly to her? Let alone you are also listed as a Bi male so your chances my be increased statistically to expose her as well? ( I am not bi Bashing but Bringing up a point of statistics)

***I will not justify my actions with any excuses, bottom line is this: I can go on living life with out sex... I can masturbate to porn like I have been doing for over a year, and I can say that not to exciting anymore... or i can find another that I can share the pleasures of sex with. What do you think is best ???***

you leave your spouse if it is So desperate as you make it out, I tire of hearing about all the excuses about how much it would cost, the bottom line if it is soo bad why stay at any cost? since You asked my opinion directly i will gladly offer it Stay out of this foray until you free your spouse from your cheating ways you are including others unwittingly into your tangled web of deciet.

***Do I not have the right to be with someone else for sexual pleasure ??*** Of course did you not marry this person?

***My wife is older then I by 9 years and is aging badly. So should i leave her because of this??***

If you are unhappy then yes? Is it right to cheat on her for your selfish pleasures alone? Do you stay because you pity her?

***Would any of you just heartlessly walk out on your spouse that you raised a family with because of health issues ??***

Firstly if my spouse did not want to swing I would walk away in a heartbeat. secondly since we have vows in which I hold true I would stand by her and Would not seek another for such Relief. Secondly Heartless- is to seek another for sexual pleasure instead of your spouse, Heartless- is also to state they Are Aging badly and use it as a reason to cheat. Heartless- is to Stay becasue you Pity someone, not becasue you love them.

***I don't want to offend or argue with anyone on this, I'm here to make friends, so whats a guy in my situation to do ??***

If you are so unhappy leave , How do you think she would feel when she finds Out you are doing this behind her back, let alone your reasons for doing this....

***Please no bashing here, i'm just a man in need of the simple pleasure in life.*** No you are a selfish man without any regard for anothers feelings, be it your own spouse, I pity not you but those entwined in your life. you asked me For my Opinion and there you have it , May you reap the Crop you are sewing.

Burlingham NY
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if a couple is so happy, why are they boning other people??"

Spoken like a true monogamist lol. I do not "bone" other people, I occasionally fuck them. That fact has nothing to do with the love within my marriage. For myself, I enjoy the variety non-monogamy brings. I am not monogamous. Not every person is a monogamous person just like not everyone is heterosexual, bisexual or homosexual. I am just me.


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You are so correct

Burlingham NY
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TOPIC: WHY MARRIED MEN CHEAT AND POST AS SINGLES