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TOPIC: Under_served
Created by: XAPHOD123
Original Starting post for this thread:
This is just a thought about the website itself. Am I the only SM who would find it good to have a link to the homepage for SMs? Are there any parties that ARE open to SMs or should I just quit looking. It seems to me that the SM population is under served not just here but in the general population. Maybe it is just me?

Don't get me wrong, I know there are bad out there... I also know that couples are preferred but it seems to me that if you are not gay or bi then there are pretty much zero options for you. Maybe I am wrong but I just don't see them.

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XAPHOD123 - Keep hanging in there, you will make it. Just keep it positive of what you are doing man.

Athens GA
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Thank you for the encouragement Zerokini. That was a very positive note. Profiles are difficult puppies. I want to convey myself but fall short. The only way to really know someone is by knowing them "in the flesh". Writing about oneself is difficult at best.

Wendell NC
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Xaphod, I am replying 'cold,' so to speak, since I haven't read your profile and I am new here too and don't know anyone else here. But I am experienced as an 'SM' (sort of, explanation in a minute) and I want to encourage you to not give up. My wife and I were 'open married couple' in the lifestyle for twelve years in the San Francisco Bay Area leading up to about 1986. Being an "open married couple" meant that it wasn't necessary to ask each other's permission to swing, and in effect that meant that we were each 'single' as far as other swingers were concerned, but we were also available to swing as a couple if we each liked our opposite number in the other couple. It also meant that if one of us didn't like our opposite number in the other couple, we weren't required to swing, and if the other couple was comfortable with that, the two of us that liked each other would swing. Or we could make it into a threesome if all agreed. [Wickedly, it also meant certain guys who were treating their partners as "pieces of meat" got their comeuppance when they tried to play the "You can use my piece of meat if I can use yours" game even after it was explain to them that we didn't play that game.] Anyway, computer dating services were just becoming popular and swinger databases quickly followed suit, and that is where we advertised. Over the twelve years I would say that my wife had about five regular boyfriends she went on weekend dates with fairly often -- concerts, dinner and a movie, various tourist attractions, and wild romps in the hay at home and sometimes in exciting other places, and she had a few one night stands to see if a guy was worth keeping as a friend. I, on the other hand, was invited individually to quite a few queen threesomes and several introductions to the lifestyle -- i.e., young ladies who wanted to find out what it was all about. One of them found out she enjoyed it so much she opened her own swinger dating service, newsletter, and cabaret, and became a major proponent of the lifestyle. So don't get too depressed, just make your profile as genuine as you can, post some decent pictures of you proving that you clean up well, and -- as someone famous once said and made a movie out of it: "they will come." But always be genuine, always be honest, and always treat people right, and things will work out, probably better than you ever expected.

Payson AZ
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Indie, I wasn't offended, just confused as I thought there was something in the profile I had missed. No problem on the misspelling of course. It was close enough. I redacted some of the stuff that was on there and deleted the picture and I hope I "get it together" also. Thanks for clearing the Sheriff comment up especially, now I get the connection. The picture really was bad but 6 months ago it was 22 pounds worse! Still working on that. Two more pounds and some toning should do it.

I was sort of dismayed at the bizarre comment. I do not want to come across as creepy. See when I go to places where there are many people in attendance I am comfortable with myself and comfortable with the people around me as they are with me. The written English language is difficult and unwieldy when it comes to conveying myself. It is the only one I know though so all of the help is appreciated.

Wendell NC
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What Independentguy said...yep.

Tramp

And besides, anyone who's been around the forums a week or so understands that most Sheriff's keep pretty close track of Fun_Ahoy....they're required to by local statutes. ;^O

Tramp

Alpharetta GA
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Sorry about the misspelled handle, dyslexic today...

Beloit WI
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Xapzod, Xapzod what are we gonna do with you....

OK bud here's what I've got for ya'. The sheriff remark was just a snarky quip in reply to Fun's lamenting about not being "served" lately. You know, like serving a process order... No offence should be taken. Not my style now, or ever.

Yeah, the profile thing needs work. What you put there will be a window that people look into to see who you are. The story told may or may not be what you wish folks to see, but it IS what they see. Personal opinion - yeah, it registers on the creepy meter.

I suggest you decide what you want to do ....yourself. You're the only one qualified to do so.

As far as I know, anyone that acts like an adult, and is one, is welcome here.

Hoping you get it together man.

Luck

Beloit WI
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Wow, really? First point, I was relating a thing that once happened while I was in a motel room. I don't really see how that makes ME bi (maybe the guy who was as morning evidence showed was watching) it is just something that happened once.

Second, bizarre? I had no idea that honesty had become bizarre! People on the outside looking in might see this whole LS as bizarre. I wonder what seems so bizarre to someone on the inside? The advice I had been given was to be honest so I was. That was from many posts on the "profile improvement" forum.

Thirdly, I don't like the picture either. I do think that will be changing pretty soon. It is not an accurate representation in my humble opinion. So thanks for the critique.

Fourth, I am really not sure what to do now! Should I just go away for being bizarre or should I leave out the incident at the hotel room? Wow, when I filled it out it wanted me to relate an experience, so I did. Maybe it was just a bad one to relate.

Fifth, the Sheriff? Huh? I didn't see anything in my profile that would interest the Sheriff. Feeling a bit stung now. Those were some pretty tough comments I must say. Maybe I don't belong here at all and should just retreat to my shell and whither for the rest of my days?

Wendell NC
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XAPHOD,

Jesus fuckin Christ that's a bizarre fucked up profile, and you obviously aren't quite right. Do you understand how bad it has to be before *I* have the credibility to say that?

Hilliard OH
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Might be that the county sheriff has an incorrect current address?

Beloit WI
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TOPIC: Under served
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