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Single males rejecting couples : Swingers Discussion 2105461021
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TOPIC: Single males rejecting couples
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We (I) have been rejected twice by a single male. Both times they seemed reluctant to say "not interested" and I told them both the same thing...it's OK to say thanks but no. I get it. I'm not every guys type. I have curves and there's more of me to hold onto than some guys prefer. I don't take it personally and respect guys who are honest enough to say how they feel. jmo

Mrs Soul

Palm Bay FL
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Tit for tat,,, for whatever reason, it is your reason to reject, or to be rejected.

Newmarket Canada
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Well again, it all comes to down giving a chance, right?

Chemistry, nice person, gentleman, how can someone decide, just by reading a profile. So if couples keep rejecting SM's just by reading profile, how right is that?

I have had way better luck in a clubs than via mails, that is only because at least, people get to interact.

Been here long enough to understand for private hook up is all about the pic/pics that you have on your profile. But hey, i am not complaining. That's the way it is. I have rejected a few, depending on timings/lack of attraction, luckily till now have not received a hate mail yet (fingers crossed)!! Its just that i have emailed most of the people within my "driving distance". So have very few couples/SF's left to mail. :)

I am only talking about couples to SM's, coz that is the only perspective i have of this LS. Dont have the luxury of playing as a couple. :)

Garland TX
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Thank you Mrs. Sav. I really do appreciate that. And clearly YOU have class. Because it takes one to know one. lol Trooperandpirategirl, EXACTLY my point!

Vineland NJ
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You can not "create chemistry" its either there or its not.

Louisville KY
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Orion, I respect that you have standards and pick and chose with whom to play. Many forget you're a human being not just a dildo with a heart beat. Everyone has a type or preference and when you step beyond that to something you right up front you are not attracted to things aren't going to turn out well. Hold your standards high. I'd rather meet a man who turns down 90% of offers than one who plays with 90% of anything offered. You can't teach class !

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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partyperks847, ty for your advice based on your experience in the lifestyle. However, I would have to object to a couple of things.

Your first advice, though understandable, (you can't judge a book by it's cover) is a double standard. These cpls were attracted to me and wanted to see if I would be interested in playing with them. Thats different from "hey,want to talk and just get to know each other?" Believe it or not, guys, even SM's have types. Of course 9 times out of 10, SM's would have to settle. But I wasn't attracted to the female, so how is that supposed to work, when my friend down there CAN'T WORK? AND IT"S NOT MY FAULT? Like Every One says on here "I'm not gonna take one for the team" and besides, whose team is that? I'm a SM, remember? Plus on here, profiles and pics matter a lot, unless your meeting them at a M&G or club.

Second, I never use "Demand" in my vocabulary. But I WILL when I need to. As I said, I understand how the "LS politics" works. The females are either single or in cpls are on top. Hell, even the cheating wifes are higher than us because males and cpls tend to look away when it comes to that so they can get their "unicorn." lol BUT THEY CAME TO ME. And I, as I said, RESPECTFULLY rejected them. And they returned with hate mail. So yeah, I "demand" respect, because they came to me. I'm not going to kick the doors in and demand respect, but it's different when you come to me. Like I said, I'm not the type to bow down and "know my place" like a good little puppy dog and kiss your feet.

Now you can go on about how I'll never get as much "play time" on here, but I learned very early on in this LS (thats also good in life in general) "quality over quantity". Mutual attraction is always the best. So I guess I'll be stubborn, but just to let you know there are cpls who've read this thread, looked at my profile, and were impressed (especially for a young male)enough to actually email me that they are on my side, wish more SM were like me, and that it was quite refreshing to read a good thought out profile.

So you can call it facts, but I'll call it a matter of opinion.

Vineland NJ
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Just a few thoughts, based on 12 years in the lifestyle and currently operating 4 clubs all of which welcome single gentlemen.

1st...It is always ok to reject anyone, couple of otherwise you are not comfortable with, however, I am a big advocate of the possibility that the experience can create chemistry as opposed to the opposite, so you may want to look beyond a profile pic before slamming the door. Looking for a 9 or 10 and passing by the humble yet fun and sexy 6 or 7 is usually a scenario which lands you watching Cinimax alone at 2AM

2nd...As a single male..in terms of the lifestyle, remove the word "demand" from your vocabulary. For good or for bad you have entered a lifestyle which is still, (no matter what other may tell you) primarily a couples domain where the single female is a notch above you in the pecking order and the single guy, just in terms of supply and demand, you are in no position to "demand" anything. Don't shoot the messenger, I'm just telling you the way it is

3rd...The less you "Demand" the more you are likely to get, in terms of respect, fun and play. In our orientation and screening process we tells guys, be they newbies or experienced, the most successful guys in the lifestyle are those who come with no preconceived expectations, and this goes for the private hook up ,scene as well as the club scene

4th...As a single guy, remove the terms "Respectful" "Clean" "Courteous" "Generous" "Disease free" and your sexual prowess and the fact you have a penis and it's size from your resume. These are the basic requirements to be a functional adult in the lifestyle, and essentially, make you, (pardon my candor) a dime a dozen. You already have the handicap of not bringing a partner to the table, (unless you are willing to settle for and limit yourself couples who only seek single guys) so let people know what else you can bring to the table.

5th...When meeting a couple or single lady, ALWAYS...I'll say again...ALWAYS insist on covering the majority of the expenses for the evening. If it is discussed and a split is decided on fine, but ALWAYS offer. ANY couple worth being with will respect and in fact, expect that.

THIS is how you gain the respect you are looking for as a single guy in the lifestyle

There are the cold hard facts,

If you want a woman with low self esteem who will blow smoke up your butt and tell you that you are an equal partner because you and she says you are, Or guys with a false sense of entitlement who will tell you to kick doors in and DEMAND respect who will in one breath tell you how often they are blown off, and on the other tell you how their dance card is always full....they are out there, and you can fined them right here in these forums....but upon further investigation, you will generally see they have few if any certs, and 25,000 posts in the forums, which makes one wonder who they are actually playing with, and when they would have time to begin with....best of luck

Rosemont IL
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Agreed with the OP!

Garland TX
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@mac TT is right about reevaluating your profile. Try the profile advice thread of thr forum. Put some effort into describing yourself in the context of your hobbies and entertainment pursuits. All you have written is that you are looking for sexual adventure, but that is kind of a given for everyone on sls.

Also be aware that your very young age is a factor. Mrs aliasname simply will not play with anyone who is younger than our son, and you are way younger than that. That is one of those preference things.

Best of luck to you in any case.

Fort Worth TX
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TOPIC: Single males rejecting couples