Safety and the single female: Swingers Discussion 186245104

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Safety and the single female: Swingers Discussion 186245104

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TOPIC: Safety and the single female

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User Details are only visible to members.	Exactly, TT! I like kicking the pedestal right under their self gratuitous posterior :)
Colts Neck NJ			Username hidden (12179 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Sed, the manicorn thing was said in jest. It cracked me up when I heard it. Nobody in the lifestyle should raise themselves up on a pedestal over anyone else. We're all here to have some fun. This isn't a competition.
Memphis TN			Username hidden (3531 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	PA, It's unfortunate that you missed the most important parts of my posts. Quite frankly, I really could not care less what you call yourself. You can refer to yourself an eggplant for all I care. I pointed out how absurd it is that a 50 year old would refer to herself as a unicorn, it's just bizarre and well, laughable :). But you go right ahead with your bad self, as you have previously. Call yourself anything that you'd like, and think of those who point out the silliness of the action as the insecure. Whatever it takes to boost your fragile ego ;). TT, I would not refer to anyone as a mythical character, certainly, I would not refer to myself as rare (if I were single). We're all people who enjoy swinging. Referring to ourselves by various names in an attempt to elevate ourselves above others (Ex:"I'm a unicorn, I'm rare" aka people want me more than anyone else. Ex:"I'm a quality single male, I am sought after blah blah blah), is exactly that. You know as well as I do, that many have vocalized that they are staying away from the big headed single females (remember the gilded pussy? is she any different than any other single female who'd refer to herself as a mythical character to indicate specialness? Except that the gilded pussy was a mere 24 year old kid...).
Colts Neck NJ			Username hidden (12179 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	S42, you said you "take exception" - so I used the phrase "rubbed the wrong way." Scuse me! You seem to take issue with my semantic choices - rather than with the content of what I have said. I'm sorry that my words have triggered your insecurities in this way. Attacking my use of the term "LS practitioners," attacking my intelligence by telling me that I have been alive 50 years and still need to listen to other peoples' experience, all very petty and insulting. Why on earth you would need to insult my intelligence or my word choices in the first place? "Those you know well," and "almost every person that I know," have apparently appointed you to speak for them, as have "most new swingers," "people who have posted," and others for whom you have presumed to generalize their experiences. I have indeed spent time reading widely in the fora, there are bad experiences with SMs, SFs, couples, etc., etc. Why the attack on SFs as lying, needy, hysterical, etc., etc? Smells awfully mysogynistic to me! Characterizing someone as throwing a "hissy fit??!!" Tres classy, S42!
New York NY			Username hidden (19 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I have no idea why they call single females "unicorns" anyway. They're not that rare. I've had the pleasure of meeting quite a few of them. I've been told that it's because I travel so much and the pool is much larger for me. But there are plenty of them and I've had a great time with them. Recently, I had a female member of a couple call me a "manicorn" because she said it was even more difficult to find a good single male than a good single female. LOL
Memphis TN			Username hidden (3531 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	S42, sorry if what I said rubbed you the wrong way - everyone's got a right to express their opinions Interesting how you arrived at the notion that I was "rubbed" the wrong way. Not at all. I merely expressed how I (and those that I know well feel about the topic). Having a different opinion does not mean that they were rubbed the wrong way. It means that they have a different opinion, mine, is based on experience and personal preferences. and I was stating mine - and if you read it carefully, you will see that I said most of the "right of first refusal" and "unicorn" stuff is what I have been repeatedly told by more seasoned - and MALE - LS practitioners. LS practitioners? For us, it's not a LS. It's part of our LS. Seasoned? what does that mean? people who have sex with others more than you? how is swinging different than say, going to a bar/club and picking up a couple/single that you're attracted to then developing either a friend with benefit relationship or, a one night stand? As to what you were told by MALE-LS practitioners...I would imagine that after having spent five decades living, one wouldn't need to be told that an human is no mythical character. Yes, I understand that it is a mere parallel. Sadly though, most of these so called unicorns have their ego shattered upon the realization that, men [as are women] for the most part, are the same in the swinging arena as they are out of it. They'll tell you what you want to hear ;). Why is it that most people you know prefer to stay away from them? I would be very interested to know the reasoning behind this most intriguing point of view. Read the Open Forums, it's not just my friends. Most new swingers, start out by looking for a female, why? because in most cases, swinging is the male's idea, thus his fantasy of seeing two babes going at it. Eventually, they gravitate towards couples. Almost every person that I know, including people who posted about the topic of Single Females in the swinging arena, do not want to deal with the issues that most single females drag with them. Ranging from emotional neediness, to psychotic behavior, and an attitude that they are an absolute rare gem (aka Unicorn) and everything should be according to what they want. People have posted about females who swore that they're not interested in a relationship, and when push came to shove proved completely the opposite. To single women who would stalk the couple. To demanding to be paid for their "services." There are MANY topics on this subject in these forums. You should spend time reading them if this interests you. Our very latest experience with the single female was in the Open Forums, where a single female was simply astounded that we're not interested in them. She threw a hissy fit for all to see, demanding to know why is it that our profile is hidden from single females. She just couldn't believe that there are people out there who wouldn't be interested in the so called "unicorn."
Colts Neck NJ			Username hidden (12179 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	S42, sorry if what I said rubbed you the wrong way - everyone's got a right to express their opinions, and I was stating mine - and if you read it carefully, you will see that I said most of the "right of first refusal" and "unicorn" stuff is what I have been repeatedly told by more seasoned - and MALE - LS practitioners. I think it goes without saying that everyone has a say - not sure what that has to do with the topic opened up by the OP. I'm wondering about your last sentence: As bizarre as it may sound to you, not everyone is looking for a single female, in fact, most people that I know who swing, prefer to stay away from them. Why is it that most people you know prefer to stay away from them? I would be very interested to know the reasoning behind this most intriguing point of view.
New York NY			Username hidden (19 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	PA, while I, for the most part agree with your post, I take exception to the part where you talk about the female having the say to yes or no. It is where I come from, a decision that both make. We all make rules for ourselves. I also take exception to the unicorn and rare part. You're not as rare as you think, and most certainly, no human should be referring to themselves as a mythical character. As bizarre as it may sound to you, not everyone is looking for a single female, in fact, most people that I know who swing, prefer to stay away from them.
Colts Neck NJ			Username hidden (12179 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	As a SF pretty new to the LS, I follow a few simple rules: -I always schedule the first meet in a public place that YOU choose and/or comfortable with - coffee shop, restaurant, etc. If anything, and I repeat, ANYTHING feels even the slightest bit off, then this isn't the right situation for you. -I always make it clear that while I am open to potentially playing on the first meet, it's not expected on either part and is subject to my preference. (Because, remember, the female ALWAYS chooses what will or will not happen at any given time - that no means no - and a yes can change to a no, with respect and compliance mandatory. These are not MY rules, but the rules of the LS, as communicated to me by a number of seasoned male and couples LS'ers.) -I am lucky that I have a close woman friend who has asked me to text her with who I am meeting, when and where, and any info about them including their phone #, town of residence, profession, etc.), and then I text her again when I am home safe. If she doesn't hear from me w/i a reasonable time, she texts me to see if I'm OK. I hope this is helpful. The ball (no pun intended!) and the decision of who and when and where and whether, is really all up to us. Remember that we are unicorns - rare and mythical. (Again, I did not come up with this, but have been told it and read it repeatedly in many of the fora.)
New York NY			Username hidden (19 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I feel the same way! I'm single female and I recently because interested in swinging but am worried about being safe.
Frederick MD			Username hidden (1 post)

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TOPIC: Safety and the single female