Safety and the single female: Swingers Discussion 186245

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TOPIC: Safety and the single female

Created by: doodlelooloo Original Starting post for this thread:
Any tips? I'm going to take it slow and get to know anyone that shows interest via email and/or phone. First meeting will be in public setting. In reality anyone can be snowed into complacency by a good liar so I intend to take precautions. Also, how to tell the person or couple you are taking precautions? I'd rather not say "hey, if you do anything creepy or scare me I will not hesitate to pepper spray you and crush your balls" Pretty sure that would be a conversation stopper..lol

Created by: doodlelooloo
Original Starting post for this thread:

Any tips? I'm going to take it slow and get to know anyone that shows interest via email and/or phone. First meeting will be in public setting. In reality anyone can be snowed into complacency by a good liar so I intend to take precautions. Also, how to tell the person or couple you are taking precautions? I'd rather not say "hey, if you do anything creepy or scare me I will not hesitate to pepper spray you and crush your balls" Pretty sure that would be a conversation stopper..lol

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User Details are only visible to members.	Maybe we could arrange private security friends on here that could get help a little sooner. Let me know if you need someone you can trust.
Lubbock TX			Username hidden (253 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	My advice for any single Lady...No certs no meet...If a guy or couple doesnt have anyone willing to publicly admit they know them...a HUGE red flag Better yet, meet at a club where there are 50 to 300 people around for safety
Elk Grove Village IL			Username hidden (2526 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	GBBlondie, Great idea. Welcome to the forums.
Colts Neck NJ			Username hidden (12212 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Exactly, TT! I like kicking the pedestal right under their self gratuitous posterior :)
Colts Neck NJ			Username hidden (12212 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Sed, the manicorn thing was said in jest. It cracked me up when I heard it. Nobody in the lifestyle should raise themselves up on a pedestal over anyone else. We're all here to have some fun. This isn't a competition.
Memphis TN			Username hidden (3540 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	PA, It's unfortunate that you missed the most important parts of my posts. Quite frankly, I really could not care less what you call yourself. You can refer to yourself an eggplant for all I care. I pointed out how absurd it is that a 50 year old would refer to herself as a unicorn, it's just bizarre and well, laughable :). But you go right ahead with your bad self, as you have previously. Call yourself anything that you'd like, and think of those who point out the silliness of the action as the insecure. Whatever it takes to boost your fragile ego ;). TT, I would not refer to anyone as a mythical character, certainly, I would not refer to myself as rare (if I were single). We're all people who enjoy swinging. Referring to ourselves by various names in an attempt to elevate ourselves above others (Ex:"I'm a unicorn, I'm rare" aka people want me more than anyone else. Ex:"I'm a quality single male, I am sought after blah blah blah), is exactly that. You know as well as I do, that many have vocalized that they are staying away from the big headed single females (remember the gilded pussy? is she any different than any other single female who'd refer to herself as a mythical character to indicate specialness? Except that the gilded pussy was a mere 24 year old kid...).
Colts Neck NJ			Username hidden (12212 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	S42, you said you "take exception" - so I used the phrase "rubbed the wrong way." Scuse me! You seem to take issue with my semantic choices - rather than with the content of what I have said. I'm sorry that my words have triggered your insecurities in this way. Attacking my use of the term "LS practitioners," attacking my intelligence by telling me that I have been alive 50 years and still need to listen to other peoples' experience, all very petty and insulting. Why on earth you would need to insult my intelligence or my word choices in the first place? "Those you know well," and "almost every person that I know," have apparently appointed you to speak for them, as have "most new swingers," "people who have posted," and others for whom you have presumed to generalize their experiences. I have indeed spent time reading widely in the fora, there are bad experiences with SMs, SFs, couples, etc., etc. Why the attack on SFs as lying, needy, hysterical, etc., etc? Smells awfully mysogynistic to me! Characterizing someone as throwing a "hissy fit??!!" Tres classy, S42!
New York NY			Username hidden (19 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I have no idea why they call single females "unicorns" anyway. They're not that rare. I've had the pleasure of meeting quite a few of them. I've been told that it's because I travel so much and the pool is much larger for me. But there are plenty of them and I've had a great time with them. Recently, I had a female member of a couple call me a "manicorn" because she said it was even more difficult to find a good single male than a good single female. LOL
Memphis TN			Username hidden (3540 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	S42, sorry if what I said rubbed you the wrong way - everyone's got a right to express their opinions Interesting how you arrived at the notion that I was "rubbed" the wrong way. Not at all. I merely expressed how I (and those that I know well feel about the topic). Having a different opinion does not mean that they were rubbed the wrong way. It means that they have a different opinion, mine, is based on experience and personal preferences. and I was stating mine - and if you read it carefully, you will see that I said most of the "right of first refusal" and "unicorn" stuff is what I have been repeatedly told by more seasoned - and MALE - LS practitioners. LS practitioners? For us, it's not a LS. It's part of our LS. Seasoned? what does that mean? people who have sex with others more than you? how is swinging different than say, going to a bar/club and picking up a couple/single that you're attracted to then developing either a friend with benefit relationship or, a one night stand? As to what you were told by MALE-LS practitioners...I would imagine that after having spent five decades living, one wouldn't need to be told that an human is no mythical character. Yes, I understand that it is a mere parallel. Sadly though, most of these so called unicorns have their ego shattered upon the realization that, men [as are women] for the most part, are the same in the swinging arena as they are out of it. They'll tell you what you want to hear ;). Why is it that most people you know prefer to stay away from them? I would be very interested to know the reasoning behind this most intriguing point of view. Read the Open Forums, it's not just my friends. Most new swingers, start out by looking for a female, why? because in most cases, swinging is the male's idea, thus his fantasy of seeing two babes going at it. Eventually, they gravitate towards couples. Almost every person that I know, including people who posted about the topic of Single Females in the swinging arena, do not want to deal with the issues that most single females drag with them. Ranging from emotional neediness, to psychotic behavior, and an attitude that they are an absolute rare gem (aka Unicorn) and everything should be according to what they want. People have posted about females who swore that they're not interested in a relationship, and when push came to shove proved completely the opposite. To single women who would stalk the couple. To demanding to be paid for their "services." There are MANY topics on this subject in these forums. You should spend time reading them if this interests you. Our very latest experience with the single female was in the Open Forums, where a single female was simply astounded that we're not interested in them. She threw a hissy fit for all to see, demanding to know why is it that our profile is hidden from single females. She just couldn't believe that there are people out there who wouldn't be interested in the so called "unicorn."
Colts Neck NJ			Username hidden (12212 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	S42, sorry if what I said rubbed you the wrong way - everyone's got a right to express their opinions, and I was stating mine - and if you read it carefully, you will see that I said most of the "right of first refusal" and "unicorn" stuff is what I have been repeatedly told by more seasoned - and MALE - LS practitioners. I think it goes without saying that everyone has a say - not sure what that has to do with the topic opened up by the OP. I'm wondering about your last sentence: As bizarre as it may sound to you, not everyone is looking for a single female, in fact, most people that I know who swing, prefer to stay away from them. Why is it that most people you know prefer to stay away from them? I would be very interested to know the reasoning behind this most intriguing point of view.
New York NY			Username hidden (19 post)

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TOPIC: Safety and the single female

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