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SINGLE SWINGERS : Swingers Discussion 7387710151
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TOPIC: SINGLE SWINGERS
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LOL! Good luck with that, DandJ... one can always hope. It's worth a try from time to time, anyways. Good thoughts for 2008.

Re the OP: "swinging" has traditionally referred to couples who swap partners. By this way of speaking, a couple including singles in their sex lives are not "swinging" per se. Nor is a single person playing with another single swinging. "The lifestyle" is a broader idea, inclusive of singles and couples.

More recently, some people are using "swinging" to refer to an open, no-strings approach to having sex with like-minded partners, inclusive of couples and singles. This is more useful. It makes sense to think of "swinging" as an alternate to the status quo of sexual relations within the bounds of monogamous marriage. (Or serial monogamy.) Swingers can and do have committed relationships, AND nonetheless are open to sex with other like-minded people. Swingers can also be singles, who nonetheless have no-commitment sex with others, married and single. It does not imply they are unsuccessful finding a life partner. After being in the lifestyle for a while, a single can find another of the opposite sex to play with and attend swing gatherings.

If someone has been in the lifestyle for a long time and cannot secure a play partner, it might be a red flag, or it might be they just don't care to play that way. There are plenty of women who play alone, but they sure could have a partner if they wanted one. Same is true for guys.

Pismo Beach CA
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Don't know and don't care... to me it was simply a comparison.

Lake Worth FL
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Scotty, I suppose the comparison in interest levels between sex with a human and sex with a dog may have just popped into Jewel's head, but don't you suppose it may have been chosen for it's dramatic punch?

Enosburg Falls VT
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"I have seen no disrespect for bi-males from jewel in this thread or any other."

I agree with this and I also thoroughly enjoy reading your posts Jewel.

Windermere FL
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DANDJ,

I read the post from jewel. It was a simple comparison. Sorry you can't see that. I think after reading it it was very clear. She wasn't comparing bimale sex to sex with a greyhound. She was saying that she had equal interest in both... NONE. again it's a comparison. maybe you're just hyper-sensative on the issue.

Lake Worth FL
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I welcome with smiles and happiness your emphatic post that you do respect bi males as people. The reason I questioned your respect has nothing to do with your sexual preferences. I attempted to make that very clear in my last post.

My feelings were based on the words of your post in answer to LaneHenry's some time back, where you talked about the history of swinging and its attitude toward bi males. They were reinforced by your comparison of your lack of desire for sex with a bi male with your lack of desire for sex with a dog. From your words and that comparison I received the feeling you lacked respect for bi males. Your desires, your sexual preferences never entered into my arguments other than to remark on the fact that you shared bi ness with bi males.

May I ask what to you is the difference between sex with a straight male and a bi male that you would compare the latter to sex with an animal?

You've repeatedly chided me for wishing to change your sexual attraction to bi males. Would you please stop doing so? I really have no personal interest in your sexual preferences and no wish at all to change them. I am interested in the points of our discussion and it has been a very informative and respectful one except for that one misunderstanding. Obviously you've received an impression I have not intended, so I hope I am clear enough now.

In your last post you explicitly stated you do respect bi males. I accept that wholeheartedly and with warmth. It has been a pleasure to discuss our feelings and thoughts on this matter in a spirit of respect. May it continue so.

Enosburg Falls VT
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I have seen no disrespect for bi-males from jewel in this thread or any other.

How come bi males get so sensative when people say they don't want to play with them? Or my favorite... "how do you know you don't like it if you haven't tried it"? Well I've never slammed my dick in a car door but I'm certain I wouldn't like it.

Jewel. I love reading your posts... happy new year.

Lake Worth FL
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Jewel, Jewel, Jewel! I feel so inept in my explanations here! This isn't about changing your desire. I don't care about who you desire. It's about changing your attitude toward people who share with you a bi sexual nature, the only difference being toward which gender. Your negative feelings for bi-ness toward one gender and your positive feelings for bi-ness toward the other is a disconnect in my not so humble opinion. A disconnect where you seem not to be able to transfer your respect for bi toward one gender to bi for the other. Respect is what I'm driving at, respect not desire.

Consider the analogy you used for your desire. Desire between humans compared to desire between different species. That's quite a leap and seems to be missing a level of respect for people who share your bi-ness but express it toward a different gender of humans.

Thank you again for being open, honest, and revealing. I do appreciate you discussing this with me. I'm trying to get through to you about respect. Desire is a whole other subject and has nothing to do with this issue of respect.

Enosburg Falls VT
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Your experience as a bi female on this site has been positive because you are desired by many and in short supply. At the same time you've posted that you would never play with a bi male. You are bi, and the male is bi. It's his very bi-ness that pushes you away. You share that bi-ness. Yet in some way his bi-ness is negative for you while your bi-ness is a source of positive experiences. For me that is an inner disconnect. That is why I've taken the time to attempt to point it out to you.

Jewel, I love the fact that you are willing to discuss this and that you've taken the time to explain your feelings toward and reasoning behind rejecting my analogy as well as the rest of my post. I also well understand not changing your opinion. Changing another person's opinion with a simple post may be the rarest thing in the world. But you have engaged me in meaningful dialog and that is the most I hoped from this forum.

I used the marriage analogy precisely because I thought it might have relevance to experiences you had with marriage, due to an earlier post by you. It did but you don't accept the relevance. Please understand that my take on your response to LaneHenry is different from yours. I accept that yours is different from mine, but like you, my take on it hasn't been changed by what you've posted since. I feel you are missing something within your own attitude

I am aware I could be completely misjudging this. I'm aware that my experiences as a bi male make me more sensitive toward attitudes about bi males. In fact that's my point. I am sensitive to what you may not be.

Enosburg Falls VT
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Jewel I assume you missed the similarity between your posted attitude toward bi males and the attitude that married women are the property of men. In your post you said that's the way it's been, live with it. That attitude has been used many times to support the mistreatment of people in many ways. I thought it ironic to hear it from a bi female. Bi females have been mistreated as have been females in general in many places around the world.

No, you aren't required to be supportive of anyone. And when you aren't, I'm not required to point it out. But I did because I thought it might provide you the opportunity to clarify how you felt. And you did.

Enosburg Falls VT
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TOPIC: SINGLE SWINGERS