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FORUMS › General Discussions › Swinging Single › Question for the single guys
TOPIC: Question_for_the_single_guys
Created by: funlovintxcouple The original post for this thread was deleted.
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When meeting with a couple (as a single male), the only thing I ask is to be given the chance to prove myself instead of to be judged by a stereotype. Treat me the same as you would any other guy, whether he was part of a couple or on his own. Don't treat me as less than a couple or single female. Every guy in a couple once upon a time was a single male, the only difference between a single male and a married one is what he brings to the table along with him...it has nothing to do with the type of person he is or how he will treat the situation of meeting a couple.


Union Grove NC
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What do I expect? Nothing. What I ask for is respect and I always give it. What I hope for are friends first and foremost. One night stands are okay, but friends are better. Sure throw a little sex in the mix from time to time to spice things up, but if we can't be friends outside of the bedroom, then it's not going to last. As for the sex, just let the night progress. I'll go as far as they want, within limits. If they want to draw a line at certain things, that's fine with me. I just want to help make all our fantasies come true.

Louisville KY
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I think that the best way to start off any new relationship is to be respectful of both the husband & wife. I think a lot of new (young) guys think they are there because they offer something the husband can't offer. I have been around the block enough times to know for sure that the average woman can out last the average guy and usually out last the above average guy. I have also been in enough relationships to realize that the boyfriend/husband has much more insight to his gal then you are going to have in a meeting or 3, so they are in a sense a better lover to their mate. So lose the macho, screw your brains out attitude, it's old news and bad news.

I have different expectations from each couple I meet with depending on what has lead to our meeting. Play the 1st date is great, but not always proper. I have been in situations where one of the guys is pushy and they are normally outcast/blackballed from that point on.

I personally prefer some honest chat on IM and like to have our 1st face to face somewhere with food and drink. Small talk, flirting and socializing is the best way to get to know each other. If you are getting along and feel a good chemistry, then you bring up sex and see where the conversation leads. I am not one to make plans to have sex, or to partake specific sexual activeties. I enjoy being spontaneous and finding her magic buttons on my own. The 'hunt' is much more important to me then the 'kill' shot. I try to laugh and make the couple laugh and just have a good time with each other.

Then there are other times where you meet, say 'Hello" and go have sex without ever knowing each other at all. I prefer knowing my partner some and having a friendship, but anonymous sex is a fun change now & then.

Collegeville PA
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I know that Jay has given permission for me to play with a single man, a wonderful guy in Austin. Like you other gents have said, he wants to meet the first time honestly as friends. He is so awesome and always asks about Jay. He wants to make sure that Jay likes him and is comfortable with him before anything sexual happens...we appreciate that so much. Shell

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Learn about the groundrules. Find out what You want to get out of the 3-some.

Absolutely no sexual contact during meet and greet, as it is more important to find out if we are and going to be comfortable with each other.

North Charleston SC
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To be honest, on the first meeting, I don't expect anything sexually. I'm there to see if we are compatiable and would like to go further. I like to find out what the couple is looking for and expects of me. Sometimes I can deliver and sometimes I can't. I'm aways willing to give them honest answers to anything that they would like to know about me.

I have meet and played with couples on the first meeting, but that is mostly because we had been communicating for a while via IM or emails. I don't push things along and I try to backoff if one of the members of the couple doesn't seem ready or interested. I would rather be "not the right guy" then "the single asshole".

My advise is to see if you compatiable and go from there. Good Luck!

Worthington PA
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Here is generally how I approach a situation in which a couple has contacted me online, requested a meeting for a 3 way, then requests that she and I be left alone for a while.

1. Regardless of the wonder of cyber communication, it does not replace the in person meeting. Be sure that you spend some quality time at the diner/lounge to make sure everyone clicks. (You may not...and, if not, just leave as friends).

2. I like to deliver, and that means that I have to figure out what my friends want. That is one of the purposes of the meet and greet. If it is not apparent, I normally ask, "and what else are you looking for".

3. I also carry a swing bag with me, complete with a variety of condoms and lube. That doesn't mean that your new friend will do so, however. Be sure to put your favorite condoms and lube in the room.

4. Many couples request that I meet separately with the lady. However, make sure you really do. It is unsettling to sense jealousy or insecurity in such a situation.

Good luck and let me know how it works out!

Memphis TN
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TOPIC: Question for the single guys
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