Question about ethics: Swingers Discussion 212670

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TOPIC: Question about ethics

Created by: sharp_guy Original Starting post for this thread:
I recently emailed a lady on SLS who listed herself as single. She replied with a message that she is married, but they both play separately. She even referred me to their couples profile, and they're a lovely couple, but it made me pause. I, too, am married, but we both play separately as well, and have singles and a couples profile, but on my single profile, I describe my open marriage very openly. Now, based on how view emails I receive, and also how few responses I get to emails I send, I wonder if my situation is scaring off some women? Should I state I'm single in my profile, like that lady did, and only fess up to my situation after getting a response? Or would this be unethical? I certainly don't want to come off as less than honest.

Created by: sharp_guy
Original Starting post for this thread:

I recently emailed a lady on SLS who listed herself as single.  She replied with a message that she is married, but they both play separately.  She even referred me to their couples profile, and they're a lovely couple, but it made me pause.  I, too, am married, but we both play separately as well, and have singles and a couples profile, but on my single profile, I describe my open marriage very openly.  

Now, based on how view emails I receive, and also how few responses I get to emails I send, I wonder if my situation is scaring off some women?  Should I state I'm single in my profile, like that lady did, and only fess up to my situation after getting a response?  Or would this be unethical?  I certainly don't want to come off as less than honest.

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User Details are only visible to members.	It seems most folks here are of the opinion to always be honest. That's what I have always done and will continue to do.
Kingsport TN			Username hidden (150 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I respect everyone's opinion even if we don't agree but I do have one question for roc em soc em...what exactly constitutes "above and beyond" to ensure you are not meeting with a cheater? I too conduct due diligence such as googling a person's name, reverse phone lookup, etc however the cynic in me makes me wonder if it's not a waste of time. There are so many ways to hide your identity especially when dealing with people you meet online.
Alpharetta GA			Username hidden (892 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Sorry, I just can't equate pic collector with a cheating spouse.
Youngstown OH			Username hidden (11415 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Mrs. Sav , I was typing as you posted your comment. As always you are spot on.
Alpharetta GA			Username hidden (892 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	One affects us directly and the other doesn't. We are not actively looking for singles but we are looking for couples. SMs acting like couples affect us directly. Cheating singles do not. By no means are we condoning cheating on a spouse but because singles are not applicable to us, their behavior doesn't cause as much of an impact as the alleged couple who happens to be a pic collector or SM. I'm sure we would rank things differently if we were looking for singles. I should clarify my previous post, we would never consider a single for play if we suspected them of cheating. I know first hand how hurtful it can be to be cheated on and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
Alpharetta GA			Username hidden (892 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	"We're probably in the small minority on here but we don't believe it's our job to police cheating spouses. " Nic , Live has made it clear that their only concern is what they perceive will affect them and their playtime...the in the dark spouse is of little consequence..............unless of course they decide that the "couple" is the root of all their spouses evil and all hell breaks loose. Is it really any wonder the lying single male posing as a couple would rate lower in their book.....that directly effects them and wastes their time. Can't say I agree but I do see their logic based on their comments. Mrs Sav
Weaver AL			Username hidden (4005 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	"Now SMs posing as a couple is a whole other issue deserving it's own thread. Suffice it to say they rank lower, in our book anyways, than cheating SMs/SFs." That surprises me. The lying SM is dishonest but is hurting no one. The cheater is dishonest and hurting a spouse or SO.
Youngstown OH			Username hidden (11415 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	@Sharpguy (OP) - How you present yourself in your profile is entirely up to you. We're probably in the small minority on here but we don't believe it's our job to police cheating spouses. We won't ask whether a SM or SF is married because in most cases, cheaters will deny it so why waste precious breath. However, if we were looking for an SM, you'd probably be at the top of the list for the simple reason that you are honest and open about your situation. We wouldn't have to worry about your wife, knowing that yours is open relationship. Regardless of ethics, be honest in your profile. Now SMs posing as a couple is a whole other issue deserving it's own thread. Suffice it to say they rank lower, in our book anyways, than cheating SMs/SFs.
Alpharetta GA			Username hidden (892 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Speaking from my own experience, my advice would be to be honest in your profile/s. I dislike emmensely(sp) being contacted by a SM only to find out they are married and cheating.
Carthage MO			Username hidden (21 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	It's no more or less ethical than to be a lonely aging guy who creates a single female profile for the sheer purpose of relieving his day of be mundane by interacting with people on the net like a certain person who has graced us with their presence :). I suggest you be 100% honest but be prepared for the skeptics......ALL cheating men claim they have their wives permission lol. Funny though that a women can have both a couples and singles profile and most men and many couples could not care less if their married or not...........I suppose that is why most of the single females I have met are bonkers, arrogant and have delusions of grandeur. I have met a few sane ones (PEG) but when as a swinging society we place them on a pedestal is it any wonder they look down their noses at everyone else and have over inflated opinions of themselves and razor sharp tongues . I for one appreciate your honesty . Mrs Sav
Weaver AL			Username hidden (4005 post)

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TOPIC: Question about ethics

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