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Married women and territorial husbands : Swingers Discussion 55128
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TOPIC: Married women and territorial husbands
Created by: trichopper The original post for this thread was deleted.
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All i can say is i have no problems with doing a MFM with the wife and another gentleman "KEY WORD: GENTLEMAN" We have never had this experience, Not because i dont want to do it but because she has aparently not found the right one to do this with. There was one single male that she was interested in and i think she would have enjoyed doing the MFM with the 2 of us He was actually a workplace aquaintance but i started becoming uncomfortable with him personally and then was told that he may have been a pedofile and then one day i went into work and found out that he had been dismissed due to stealing from our employer. I think fate was looking out for us on that one! LOL Her and i just had a talk yesterday about having a MFM encounter and i guess when we find the right guy for the job then we will try it, But i think she just wants it to be one of those things that just happens. As far as husbands that have jealousy issues; Yes i am sure that there are some that have them, But i think for the most part the husband is simply protecting the woman that he has made a lifelong comitment to. Most husbands in this lifestyle dont have jealousy issues but at the same time they were once single also and they realise that there are alot of people out there that are capable of doing alot of things to get what they want without regard to others. That is not to say that all singles are like this but unfortunately we have to weed the bad ones out. I am sorry but there is no room for a pedofile or any other deviant in our relationship.

Dayton OH
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I had a great MFM thing going on with a couple and it ended with the husband going to a party looking for me and his wife with a gun! I was not with her nor would I ever meet a married woman without the husbands knowledge. I don't even call couples, I wait for them to contact me even after we have played many times. I don't want them to think I am chasing after the wife! First sign of something not being right, you must get out of the relationship!!!!!!!!

Orlando FL
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Every couple is going to have spats and arguments about things, that's common nature. When a couple is a part of the lifestyle, then they have to make sure that they communicate well and everyone understands what is going on and is ok with it. If a guy is uncomfortable with his girl being with another guy he needs to speak up before hand, not wait until things heat up. I've been in a situation like this. The husband didn't want the three of us to play together but said he didn't have any problem with wife and I playing while he watched. Then after the fact I get my shit jumped because he's unhappy because he wasn't a part of it and he causes a big scene. It would have been much easier if he had told his wife to start with that he wasnt' comfortable with the idea. I would have respected his choice and we all three could have just drawn the line there and been friends.

Portsmouth OH
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Well said, WMisonewfriends.

Memphis TN
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If you are ever in a situation where the male goes from being comfortable to being hostile. I suggest you back away fast. It's been my experience that this is caused by an opinion change in the male brought on by either something he has seen, heard or observed. My experience is that it's normally rooted in some form of jealousy. As a single male you really don't want to get in the middle of that. If you have a good friendship you can try talking to the husband alone and seeing if he will discuss it and perhaps reduce his fears.

In the MFM combo with straight males. The male of the couple has to get his enjoyment from the energy(enjoyment) of his wife. If for any reason he does not then he's just trying to make his wife happy by forsaking his desires. This can lead to major problems when he changes his mind which sometimes can be at the drop of a hat.

The majority of the problems I have seen with these situations is where a couple is still trying to cement their comfort level with the lifestyle. Not only with play, but on the flirting/social side of the relationship. hence the reason some couples put on their profile that they are not willing to meet newbies.

Never put yourself in situations where your safety might be in question. Jealous husbands (or wives) can be a time bomb.

Chris

Sandston VA
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Well Triple your theory is wrong in our case... we prefer FFM to MFM. I could care less about being the center of attention in a MFM... I have done that in group play with a couple of the husbands in the group and it isn't nearly as fun as hubby and I ravaging a female together. My husband and I sharing a team effort in "doing what we please" to a female together is a very intimate bond between us. The only way that could be replicated in a MFM situation is if my husband was bisexual and we teamed up to consume a male ...but since he isn't bisexual then that scenario wouldn't happen... it would be him and another male teaming up on me which lacks that team effort between us.... so not nearly as fun.

Mountain Ranch CA
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I would have to say it's ".... more selfishness (nothing in this for me) than real insecurity" too in our case. I can do everything with the male half of a couple that I can do in a MFM situation so we don't really see the point in our case. However, I'm sure that the majority of bickering or territorial issues in couples are fueled by insecurity but not all avoidance of MFM is because the male is insecure.

Mountain Ranch CA
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I think it probably is worse in an MFM situation. My late husband was pretty open, but I had to tread lightly when I wanted to do that. He was bisexual and we played with a lot of bisexual guys, which was never a problem. On the rare occasion that we did a "straight" MFM (usually if we were at a club, nothing else presented itself and I saw a guy I liked) he got touchy more than half the time. In his case, I think it was more selfishness (nothing in this for me) than real insecurity.

Springfield VA
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Are we talking about stricktly MFM situations here????? I haven't seen much of this first hand in the Lifestyle. However, we exclusively play with couples and never single males. Could it be that the MFM situations lend more to some territorial responses by husbands and couple to couples don't??? I'm sure it happens on occassion with the males in couples/couples situations but I think maybe I've seen bickering or territorial type remarks only once or twice in the past 3 years.

Mountain Ranch CA
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Even well-adjusted couples who do belong in the Lifestyle argue occasionally about something that rubbed one or the other wrong. Bringing other people into a marriage is not simple stuff, and it isn't always going to go smoothly. However, couples who do it in public are being rude and immature. Couples who use other people as stock figures in some mating ritual are assholes, and sexually jealous people don't belong anywhere near the Lifestyle. Unfortunately, there will always be people trying it out who aren't suited for it, and once in a while one of us ends up in the line of fire.

Springfield VA
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TOPIC: Married women and territorial husbands