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TOPIC: LS_men_verses_free_hookup
Created by: Delightfulfun74
Original Starting post for this thread:
Playing with single men who are just using this site to have extra martial affairs. What is the best way to determine who is in the lifestyle and who is a player?

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my first red flag is no pics, I will engage in messaging. if they ask me to join kik or texting I always want the female half on a group message and ask to talk to female and if all i get are excuses on why she can't I move on.

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divva, welcome to the forums. and yes, a good conversation will cover a lot of ground and either expose red flags, or allay any concerns.

Bridgewater NJ
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I think you should have conversations with people. Ask about their experiences in the lifestyle and WHY they are in it. You'd be surprised what you can pick up from general conversation.

Trenton NJ
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I am go glad that this topic came up big time, I will not call out a name but this person think it is still easy to be a dog player. Look what I stated on " Achieving Single Male Success › Single Asian men at the bottom of the totem pole?

I really had to break it down in different ways about the situation.

Athens GA
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to the OP: curious mo has some good ideas.

my non negotiables include: a public first meeting (i choose the venue) with no expectations. usually a week night or a weekend afternoon, and planned in advance.

after the first meeting, if it has gone well, i'll either give my number or ask them for theirs. if that's a "no" then--red flag. if they don't follow up fairly soon, well--if ya snooze, ya lose. also as curious mo mentioned, pay careful attention to the timing of phone calls.

as for expecting him (or her, for single females) to host, or it's a "red flag"--well: someone else said this in another thread and i am inclined to disagree. i will not host--i will not bring anyone home, exposing my home address to any potential issues for many different reasons and because i am a single mom with split custody and a very....antagonistic ex.

i abhor double standards of ANY kind. if a single guy is also a part time parent, why should anyone expect him to expose his home address? especially in light of the many divorce horror stories and ongoing battles many divorced women (AND men) face--let's be real, men face just as many difficulties as women, even if different in nature than women do. if a single guy doesn't share custody, if he's reluctant to host at his home, but willing to get a hotel room, why is that automatically a red flag? who wants to bring a complete/relative stranger to their home? if single females and couples don't want to, why is it okay to demand that a single male should have to, or else it's a red flag?

instead, here's what i've experienced, and am quite alright with--meet up, determine compatibility, confirm neither can host--and he gets a hotel room, "neutral ground" for both. if the other automatic red flags don't pop (days and times for meetings in public places, telephone contact and follow up, etc.)--i don't disqualify on the basis of not hosting at home.

and welcome to the forums, OP.

Bridgewater NJ
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Thank you curious_mo you brought up some great ideas that I have not thought of and I plan on putting them in place:)

Roseville CA
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When I started the Lifestyle as a single male, many of the couples posed the question before we met. Having been widowed once and divorced another, I had nothing to hide. Here are few things that helped my couples feel at ease about me being single: 1. Exchanging phone # very early on, and either texting or calling at "inconvenient times", such as Sunday morning, weekdays in the evenings,...etc. If you are getting their voice mail more often, red flag!. 2. Public meetings: That became the norm for me, as I always suggested them and in the case of the fabulous single women, I insisted on meeting in public for their safety. Also make that meeting at times when only a single person can handle ... 9 PM on a Monday night is a very magical time , so is Saturday morning (soccer day!) ;) 3. This is a no brainer: Most single men should be able to host at their place. Ask them to host (even if you don't intend to have them host), and watch their reaction. If the excuse of a roommate or concern for privacy,...etc come up, then another red flag!

Trust your gut is the best advice!!

PS: I wish you lived in Denver, you sound very sexy! I hope this helps, and Happy swinging

Seattle WA
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Thank you RonKathy. It is frustrated having to research single men but worth it for the ones who are honest are always a delight:)

Roseville CA
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Playing with single men who are just using this site to have extra martial affairs. What is the best way to determine who is in the lifestyle and who is a player?

Roseville CA
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TOPIC: LS men verses free hookup
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