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Hypothetical Question For Fellow Single Swingers : Swingers Discussion 171557
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TOPIC: Hypothetical Question For Fellow Single Swingers
Created by: jadthesidvicious The original post for this thread was deleted.
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@Jad:

I don't see anything wrong with your position. You come here to meet people for fun while you are waiting for the right woman to come along. You don't think you'll want to swing once you find her. I think all people have the right to do what they want sexually, as long as they don't hurt anyone in the process.

If you're always honest about yourself and where you are in life, it's OK to change, too. There was a time when I would have been jealous if my partner played with anyone but me. Now, I don't feel like it would be a problem. My feelings have changed, and here I am, hoping to find a swinging woman to become part of a swinging couple with.

I suppose either of us could turn out to be wrong about ourselves--you could end up in a happily swinging couple and I could decide I want a vanilla life--but we are both honest about how we feel right now. Nothing wrong with that, IMO,

Sacramento CA
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Oh my . I have two male friends who I met in the lifestyle , one in a couple and one as a single . The couple broke up and he is having a horrible time finding someone he is compatible with . The single consistantly finds vanilla girls who he eventually introduces into the lifestyle and then it all falls apart ... so far. BTW both men are in their 50s and attractive successful men . The author of this thread has one thing in his favor ... his age . In general people in their 20's are MUCH less likely to confuse sex with love than people of my generation (mostly addressing the women of my generation). And men in their 20's generally are raised to feel less "ownership" of their partner as men in my generation . When you leave your 30's behind usually you have so many scars from your past relationships that the lifestyle is a significant threat . I respect our boy's admission of jealousy with anyone he truly cares about , most of us will lie to ourselves and say we don't (at least momentarily think) why is he/she the one they are choosing right now . We all want to be the best , it's human nature . I'm not a single and most likely will never be one but my advice is ... be honest , enjoy your honeymoon period alone with your chosen other and when you are both secure enough you will end up back in the lifestyle . If you are honest with the girl you want to spend your life with and admit your past in full to her she will make an informed decision . And if she is as open minded as you probably need her to be she will want to explore sexuality with you as a couple ..... eventually .

Allentown PA
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This man's position boils down to "I'll fuck you whores until I find a respectable woman to settle down with." It is incredibly disrespectful. If you wouldn't want to be in the Lifestyle as a couple, you shouldn't be here as a single.

It is always sad when a friend meets a vanilla partner and drops out. If it's the new partner not being OK with it that is the deciding factor, I find it sad and shortsighted (most of the time the ex-swinger ends up dissatisfied) but I understand it.

However, the guys who know they would never date sluts like us seriously should stay away from us. Hire an escort if you can't find a nice vanilla girl or aren't ready for a relationship.

Springfield VA
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Nic, good point! Typically when you first start dating you don't sleep around. In the vanilla world thats called cheating. But I suspect that when he settles down he will realize how much fun the LS could be as a couple. My husband and I talked about Swinging on our honeymoon and we didn't start until this year (10 years later) and now looking back we would have started when we were dating lol. Plus you may actually find a woman who is in the LS already or someone who has fanatsize about it. Typically people tend date people that are a little like yourself, crazy and wild! I know I did.

New York NY
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BLT, here is my struggle.

If I date vanilla while playing in the LS, at what point do I tell my vanilla date about my "hobby"? How many women will continue to date a guy who "sleeps around" (I am guessing that will be her perspective) while seeing her? The other option is to introduce her to the LS which I have done with two other ladies but those relationships didn't last. The third option is to lie and maintain two "identities" and I am not comfortable with that.

So, I hope to meet someone already in the LS or that I can bring into the LS and have a long term relationship. I don't see it as an issue being with the same person everyday, the variety of experiences comes from playing with others.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy what I am doing. I just think it would be nice to have someone special in my life to enjoy the everyday things as well.

Youngstown OH
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Nic: I think the enviable position is to create a wonderful life as a single and have the LS for fun. I absolutely don't want the same person every single day and night.....SLS has enhanced my life, particularly where I live, enormously.

Vero Beach FL
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@Lady. No, my phrasing is off. It would seem we each want the same thing and have neither has found it.

Sorry for the confusion.

;^)

Youngstown OH
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@Nic: hmmm, did I word that wrong? I want a guy in the LS who also wants a long term relationship.

San Antonio TX
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"My trouble is finding a single guy in the LS who is open to some sort of a long term relationship."

Ironically, my fear is the opposite. I would love to find a woman who is either in the LS or willing to explore it together with me long term.

I envy the couples who have each other for life and have the LS for fun.

Youngstown OH
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if I get married again, we'll be in the LS. I can't imagine being in the vanilla world again.

My trouble is finding a single guy in the LS who is open to some sort of a long term relationship. Not necessarily marriage. Yes, there are PLENTY of single guys, but they are usually not interested in any kind of relationship and I wind up feeling like a ticket for him to enter the LS and fuck everyone. That's not what I'm here for and would be a great disservice to the LS.

San Antonio TX
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TOPIC: Hypothetical Question For Fellow Single Swingers