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How do you share that you swing : Swingers Discussion 204484101
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TOPIC: How do you share that you swing
Created by: LoveItSpicy
Original Starting post for this thread:
Forgive me if this has been asked and answered, but I'm new to the lifestyle and I'm wondering:

How you share with others that you swing?

I'm talking about sharing with people that you want to know either because you're hoping they might be into it, or to give them fair warning if you're starting to have sex with them on non-swinger terms. It seems that there are some misconceptions out there about the lifestyle, and people are quick to make assumptions - "They all have diseases." or "They're all lowlifes" are two that I've heard...

Any advice?

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*LIKE

Poland OH
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to spicy.....just be honest...IF she has major objections to the lifestyle she's probably not for you....if you get serious with her you're likely to become unhappy that you lack a major common interest.....there is an old saying we learned a long time ago that goes

"i'de rather want someone i dont have then have someone i don't want"

Lynbrook NY
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When you start to get emotionally involved or are considering moving to a more committed relationship I suggest a game of 20 questions. Ask things like the strangest you've had sex, the wildest thing you've done sexually, favorite sexual fantasy etc. The object of the game is 1 person asks a question , wait for the answer and than answer it themselves. Take turns asking questions . The game ends if and when someone decides to NOT ANSWER . I also suggest you start slowly with the sexual questions, start with more general things and slowly test the waters. Mr Sav met on a vanilla dating site and we lived hours apart. After our first meeting it was a few months before we saw each other again , this allowed plenty of time to play e-mail 20 questions. We learned a lot about each other , admittedly I was the one with the sexually leading questions . I didn't know anything about the lifestyle my intent was so just see what kind of person he was in the course of that game I learned a bit about swinging. Once we started actually dating he never brought it up again and was not on a swing site nor actively participating. 6 months into our relationship I brought it up, suggested we join a site and see how it goes. The rest is history lol. In our case I know without a shadow of doubt that Mr Sav would have left the lifestyle completely in his past had I myself not brought it up. It wasn't a lifestyle for him, merely something he dabbled in . It made me curious about it and after evaluating my heart mind and soul decided it sounded like fun. Keep in mind it is important to be honest if this is to be your chosen lifestyle but it is also important to not make a big deal out it, force the subject or to try to convince anyone to join you. The lifestyle is a personal choice each must make for themselves and for the right reasons.

Good luck,

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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Nothing beats the truth, straight forward honesty is the absolute best.

"I'm not monogamous" should do it.

The party that you are trying to *bring over to the dark side* will let you know if they are curious or want nothing to do with it. Why even attempt to try to sway someone that has no interest nor desire? if they respond in a negative manner they don't approve, if you aren't willing to change your lifestyle habits then they aren't for you.

Allenhurst NJ
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I guess I agree with you for the most part. But my question remains:

How do you tell others that you swing?

If I wasn't clear, I'm wondering how you break someone into the idea whom you think might not understand/approve. Sure you can just say, "Hey, baby - I swing," but I think most of us would agree that it doesn't usually happen like that.

Say you're seeing someone new and you want to introduce the idea to them - see if they would be open to it - but you don't want doing so to make them drop you like a hot potato. What then?

Orangevale CA
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Welcome to the forums,

**How you share with others that you swing? I'm talking about sharing with people that you want to know either because you're hoping they might be into it, or to give them fair warning if you're starting to have sex with them on non-swinger terms. **

As a single male I don't see where there is a difference between being an active swinger or not. What would be the difference if you went to a bar a few times a week, or a club to pick up strangers for romp in the hay, or finding sex partners on a website?

In terms of sharing with someone that you might commit to more than just the so called *booty call.* What's the difference between telling them that you aren't monogamous and that you're a swinger? What exactly does the label do?

**It seems that there are some misconceptions out there about the lifestyle, and people are quick to make assumptions - "They all have diseases." or "They're all lowlifes" are two that I've heard...**

Those aren't misconceptions, many are indeed lowlifes and are diseased. Just like everywhere else in life. Swingers are no exception to this sad truth.

Good luck, happy hunting.

Allenhurst NJ
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Forgive me if this has been asked and answered, but I'm new to the lifestyle and I'm wondering:

How you share with others that you swing?

I'm talking about sharing with people that you want to know either because you're hoping they might be into it, or to give them fair warning if you're starting to have sex with them on non-swinger terms. It seems that there are some misconceptions out there about the lifestyle, and people are quick to make assumptions - "They all have diseases." or "They're all lowlifes" are two that I've heard...

Any advice?

Orangevale CA
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(3 posts)
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TOPIC: How do you share that you swing