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Guide for meeting single women for single men : Swingers Discussion 363641021
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TOPIC: Guide for meeting single women for single men
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"Easier for her not to get involved with unproven men from the beginning."

Correct. The man I bring with me has been swinging forever. I KNOW he's safe, respectful, polite and skilled. One of the worst things that happens in clubs are men who don't "get it."

It's not always new men. Some people ignore very clear signals. I'm not worried about my "status.” Some love me. Some hate me. But, the last thing I want to do is subject the ladies to an asshole.

During a mixed gender party, I let in a guy a friend brought. Within 2 hours, 3 women came to me with complaints. I told him to leave. There was an attempt to deny the issue. I said no negotiation. You are out in 5 minutes, dressed or not.

More recently, I had to throw a lesbian out of a bichick party. She couldn't handle the FF action in the tub. ???? She didn't have the experience and became combative. The woman that brought her regretted it BIG TIME.

Here's the take home. It's generally too many issues bringing a guy. I found one gentleman in a swing club another in a public dungeon. On-line?? Probably not.

Finding a single/available lady, who likes to swing. I'm looking for one also. Meeting in clubs or private parties is the best. On-line really doesn't work. I have tried for years. It just doesn't work. The only lady I met (most recent gf) was in a swing club.

Forums seem to be the only on-line option. If you post regularly and folks get a sense of who you are. They will be more likely to contact you. You can also comment on something they wrote via mail. That may start a dialog that leads to success.

Remember this isn’t easy. We want women who have certain vanilla qualities and are comfortable with group sexuality. Sigh.. They are rare..But you are talking to one.. Wink.

Mischief..hope this helps gentlemen

Glen Burnie MD
 
 
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The Quiet ones are the ones to watch out for. Means They are the one's who are good in the rack. They don't boast, brag, or otherwise call attention to themselves.

They just are. They are the one's to watch out for. Meaning. I married one. Another is my lover. A 3rd is damn close and I have a date Wednesday. ;)

Quiet is a good thing.

Mischief

Glen Burnie MD
 
 
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"If I escort you to a party/club, I'm responsible for you. No other venue is like that. "...

OK guys. As someone that started swinging 20 years ago, THIS IS THE NUMBER ONE REASON SINGLE WOMEN IN THE LIFESTYLE AVOID US from what I've seen.

Women aren't like us, and half of almost every couple is a woman. If another woman, whether part of a couple or single, brings a man to a swing event that isn't well behaved, the woman looks bad in front of other women. If a man brings a woman to a regular party or bar and she acts like a jerk, we guys just laugh at her in front of him and encourage him to leave her. From what I've seen (and I'm not positive on this because I'm not a woman) women are not as forgiving and until she dumps you, her life will be hell. Why? Its not that she made a bad decision concerning a man, but the next time she might do it again and bring a guy that endangers someone. Easier for her not to get involved with unproven men from the beginning.

Which brings me back to the original question. The obvious answer is to go to clubs, but if there are no clubs in your area that allow single men, what do you do short of getting married and hope the woman you marry is adventurous enough and trusts you enough to try swinging?

(Is that open ended enough for you, Mischief? LOL)

Lansing MI
 
 
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Hi Mischeifinyou I agree with you on almost everything you are saying. But one thing I disagree. Not all the Quiet ones are risks. I am a Quiet one. And I treat People the way I like to be Treated. My only problem is Im just a little shy. Just thought I would put in my 2 cents. :) Thanks

Clark NJ
 
 
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Thank you gentlemen. (Waves) I believe the same goes for females looking for single men. It's important that we mesh on some level. I like to think of it as partners in crime. It's actually harder than vanilla dating because I'm looking for men who are comfortable in "alternate" situations.

I'm not about to tell them or put in my profile that I give fairly good head for a "lesbian." Big smile. But I might not wear any underwear on the date either. Why? It's about fun.

From the various posts I've seen quality, single, Gentlemen are in huge demand by couples and single women. It's clearly a major lapse in ability to communicate.

If I was a single guy, I would be popular once I was known. Too many folks wanting, for there not to be a niche for me.

Mischief<--still licking my wounds from the break up with my gf.

Glen Burnie MD
 
 
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Thanks Mischief. Nice to know I'm not doing anything wrong (based on what you've written). Guess I have just been writing to and meeting the wrong people, or saying the wrong things to the right ones. One stops writing because I don't send her a close up of "my little friend", another stops because I mention a fantasy I had after she tells me explicit details of her time at a club. I just thought maybe there was some secret other than common sense and decency that would improve my odds (other than having a bunch of couples set me up with someone).

Still, great advice. Iguess I just have to be a little less selective until I get my foot back in the door.

naaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I can't do that.

Lansing MI
 
 
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Mischief, those are all very good points. I have a few single ladies with whom I play, and our relationship is characterized by the following: (1) we are both mature adults who enjoy sex; (2) we maintain a friendship that involves interests, conversation, and activities other than sex; (3) we are aware of each other's sexual likes and dislikes, and like to introduce each other to other swingers with whom they might click; and (4) we are not looking for emotional commitments that could change the nature of our sexual friendship.

Memphis TN
 
 
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I date single women. I have the unique perspective of being on both sides of this fence.

Do: -Treat a lady like a person. Players are no different. Respect for personhood is key. -Do not spam profiles. Sending the same letter isn't going to work. -Give appropriate, TRUE compliments. She’s taken effort to look nice. Acknowledge it. -Pay attention to body language. Women send very clear body language. -Have a nice discussion about anything but sex. Men who focus on the obvious, lose. -Ask open ended questions. (Not yes/no questions) -Relaxed confidence and attention is key. -Give the lady an honest flavor of your personality. Forums work well. -Speak in a way that is easily understood. Talking up or down is a killer. -Develop a non-grasping behavior. don't ask for a meeting immediately. Be in No hurry. -Comment on her forum posts/profile notes if she has them. -Rejection is success. I tried. The more rejections, the closer to success. -Be realistic, confident, comfortable regarding your attractiveness.

Errors are easy to spot: -Boasting about sexual abilities. Women know it’s the quiet ones to “worry” about. -Offering measurements, wanting hers indicates you have no real clue. -Describing your love of “oral” and other BS. -Not having gentlemanly pics. Try to show the “real” you. don't cut out your former. -Bitching about jumping through hoops. You are responsible for who you pick. Complaining about your picks, shows inability to choose well, inability to accept responsibility, and a generally poor attitude in accepting women’s wants/needs.

We know why we are meeting. We understand it’s about sex. Vanilla or not. But it’s more than that. If I escort you to a party/club, I'm responsible for you. No other venue is like that. I have to make sure you don't lose higher mental functions when exposed to naked women. Therefore I only escort the safest men to parties.

YMMV,

Mischief<—who is looking for regional(NoVa, MD, DC, PA) gals to hang with.

Glen Burnie MD
 
 
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OK, I'm going to ask the question that nobody has asked or wanted to ask. What does a single man do differently when he wants to meet a single woman involved in the swinging lifestyle as opposed to meeting single women strictly for dating?

I have actually met women in real life who are on this site and had some fun times with them, but as soon as they come across my ad, I can't get two words out of them the next time I see them. Happened once around this time last year and it really pissed me off because I had just posted a picture on my profile a couple of hours after she called me and said to bring an overnight bag. When I arrived she kicked me out and accused me of stalking her online. Oh, she didn't have pictures on her profile and never sent me one. Her ad said she lived in Chicago, but then she changed it a few days later. I wasn't able to even view it a few days after that.

Maybe thats an extreme case. But really, what do you say differently to a sing woman on a swing site you are interested in and believe would be interested in you than you would to a woman you would meet in real life or on a dating site? Many men want to know, and maybe you single women and couples who were once single swingers can tell us guys why we are treated differently by the same women when it comes to swinging versus regular boy-girl dating.

Lansing MI
 
 
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TOPIC: Guide for meeting single women for single men