Flirting with a couple: Swingers Discussion 208993

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TOPIC: Flirting with a couple

Created by: jaypsi Original Starting post for this thread:
I'm new at this and a month or so ago, I was contacted by a couple and it occurred to me that, as a single male, I had no idea how to flirt online with a couple or what sort of etiquette is involved in doing so. When I've dated online, it's pretty straight forward, since I know I'm talking to a female and she doesn't have a significant other who is involved in the conversation. When talking to the couple in question I just skipped any of that because for one thing, I had no idea which person had written what in the messages (emails actually) and I had no idea what I could say and not risk offending one or both of them. It also would have felt pretty awkward just assuming I could talk to the wife as if the husband wasn't present and I wouldn't imagine that would go over very well. I guess my question is how does a single male flirt with a couple without self-desrtucting right at the start of a conversation?

Created by: jaypsi
Original Starting post for this thread:

I'm new at this and a month or so ago, I was contacted by a couple and it occurred to me that, as a single male, I had no idea how to flirt online with a couple or what sort of etiquette is involved in doing so. When I've dated online, it's pretty straight forward, since I know I'm talking to a female and she doesn't have a significant other who is involved in the conversation.  

When talking to the couple in question I just skipped any of that because for one thing, I had no idea which person had written what in the messages (emails actually) and I had no idea what I could say and not risk offending one or both of them.  It also would have felt pretty awkward just assuming I could talk to the wife as if the husband wasn't present and I wouldn't imagine that would go over very well.  I guess my question is how does a single male flirt with a couple without self-desrtucting right at the start of a conversation?

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User Details are only visible to members.	Mrs. Sav, Not that my opinion means much, but also as a new, single male to this lifestyle, I found nothing you said in your post or follow-up to be offensive, only informative. I welcome your comments, they are very helpful. IMHO But that's just me. ItsBeen
Amherst OH			Username hidden (2271 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	"Wow. I think that pretty much wraps up my desire to participate in the forums. Once again, thanks to everyone who provided me with useful feedback on my profile." For the life of me I can't figure out what exactly offended you in my post? Seriously ! You asked a question I as part of a couple gave you an answer, an honest one at that. If for some reason you disagree with my comments this is fine but you pack up your toys and go home based on my response is about the most childish, ridiculous thing I've heard to date. What did you want me to say? Anyone who took a moment to read our profile would see I do ALL communicating for the 2 of us. That being said I do not respond well to graphic sexual description of your supposed "talent" I expect/demand you behave like a gentleman and take zero liberties in your terminology . Complimenting a picture is fine but how you "compliment" is as important if not more important than the delight you feel I should take in said compliment. Being forward, graphic and/or sexual with a complete strange is NOT COOL. If you've found difficultly flirting within the guidelines of being gentleman in "real" life you will surely strike out here. In that case packing up might not be a bad idea. I do hope that is not the case . My apologies if I did not tell you whatever it was you wanted to hear , sorry that's not my style nor do I find it beneficial to the receiver. Mrs SAV Thanks NIC and FUN , I appreciate the support and the common sense it might have taken to understand my point.
Weaver AL			Username hidden (4095 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Jay, Find out whom you are communicating with primarily. Be fun and flirty with the woman and be straight with the guy. Try to pick up on the dynamics of the relationship as well. Some are male dominant and some are female dominant. Above all, be patient. A single man is usually a strange addition to a playtime and some couples have a tough time with it. I've had a hall pass and played as a single man a few times. It's tough. Hang in there. Single guys have a high turnover rate.
Covina CA			Username hidden (99 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I have to say you must be pretty thin-skinned to take that attitude. Mrs. Sav hit the nail on the head. If a couple contacts me, I follow their lead and do not initiate sexy or suggestive talk unless they do and even then, I stay in their same vein. If she says she likes a certain pic of mine I might compliment one of hers and ask if her husband took it and compliment him on the composition. If I am not sure who I am writing to, I may ask but I always assume both are reading and maybe even replying together. Some emails get pretty steamy, other times we never even mention sex until we meet. If there is one key to flirting that I would suggest it is that friendly, humerous banter is always received better than bravado. If I see a pic of the woman in a hot dress and we've been flirting a bit I may say, "That's a gorgeous dress, I think it would look better on the floor" and not, "HOT dress, can't wait to rip it of you and fuck you like you've never been fucked before!" god luck and have fun!
Youngstown OH			Username hidden (11414 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	"Wow. I think that pretty much wraps up my desire to participate in the forums." Suit yourself, but FWIW Mrs. Sav is one of the most astute members of this site and she calls 'em the way she sees 'em. Her advice looks pretty on target to me.
San Quentin CA			Username hidden (8604 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Wow. I think that pretty much wraps up my desire to participate in the forums. Once again, thanks to everyone who provided me with useful feedback on my profile.
Richardson TX			Username hidden (12 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	You don't ! You wait until attraction has been established by everyone involved. You wait until you know with whom your corresponding, male half or female half. You follow their lead, if playful flirty banter is offered you respond playfully. No matter who is writing always assume all emails are read by both partners and never assume it is ok to cross the line from playful to pornographic. I dated online (vanilla) as well and quite frankly I enjoyed pushing just a little with my comments to see just how quickly a so called "gentleman" reverted to piggish behavior. It was a great screening tool. My comments would be flirty and playful not raunchy or graphic. It was interesting to see how many men would take my inch of "flirting" 6 miles down the dirty road instantaneously. DONE! NEXT! I prefer class over trash, gentlemen over pigs and men that know the difference. Mrs Sav Mrs Sav
Weaver AL			Username hidden (4095 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I'm new at this and a month or so ago, I was contacted by a couple and it occurred to me that, as a single male, I had no idea how to flirt online with a couple or what sort of etiquette is involved in doing so. When I've dated online, it's pretty straight forward, since I know I'm talking to a female and she doesn't have a significant other who is involved in the conversation. When talking to the couple in question I just skipped any of that because for one thing, I had no idea which person had written what in the messages (emails actually) and I had no idea what I could say and not risk offending one or both of them. It also would have felt pretty awkward just assuming I could talk to the wife as if the husband wasn't present and I wouldn't imagine that would go over very well. I guess my question is how does a single male flirt with a couple without self-desrtucting right at the start of a conversation?
Richardson TX			Username hidden (12 post)

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TOPIC: Flirting with a couple

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