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TOPIC: Finding_a_new_partner_in_life_(who_also_wants_to_swing)
Created by: double_entendre
Original Starting post for this thread:
I get that much of this lifestyle revolves around SEX. . . I mean, without the sexual aspect, it's just going out with friends.

While I love sex as much as the next guy (or gal), I would REALLY Love to find a partner-- something permanent... not someone just so I can get in the door at the local sex club or go to parties with.

I'm on 'normal' dating sites, and I'm up front an honest about non-monogamy, but I swear, 95% of the email I get from women is just to tell me how great I am... except for that swinging thing...

Is there a good place to meet SINGLE SWINGERS who are looking for a relationship and not just a great roll in the hay?

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F_R-A-GEE-L-A-Y! Must be from Italy! Did I win a major award??

Those WERE two long, MF-ing sentences! Guilty as charged.

BT

I'll be expecting a knock on the door from Lady any moment now to deliver my punishment

New Orleans LA
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Wow, Tender, I believe that's quite possibly the longest sentence I've ever seen you create....and what passion too!

The dynamic duo hasn't got your blood pressure up a tad this morning, I'm hoping. Lol

Tramp

Alpharetta GA
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To each their own, Grace. My view is as long as they're not wasting my time they can do whatever they want to do. Though, I do think it's a bit contrarian for a woman or man to believe they'll find a monogamous partner from a pool of folks who claim to be interested in non-monogamy, and wonder how long those liaisons last before an eye starts to wander, but it's not my life. It's theirs.

I'd rather share this site with "real" (whatever that means) swingers and those looking for a mate/partner, who along the path are interested in kissing/fucking a few frogs before they find their Prince/princess Charming, than share the site with time wasters; picture collectors, people looking for masturbation material, and fakers.

BT

New Orleans LA
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I actually met my partner on a vanilla dating site. A month later, I suggested we try swinging, and that's how we got started.

There are also singles here who use it as a vanilla dating site, one-on-one. To me, that's regular dating--NOT swinging!

Grace

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Great point. I did not think if that. It will attract those who are curious and weed out those who are not. Love it!!

Robert

Norcross GA
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Uf- If you think this is something you want to pursue in a long term relationship, and you are using (at least partially) vanilla dating sites, looking for matches, perhaps you could add wording to your profile that hints at swinging, to reduce the chances of later rejection. "Vanilla" is a term used around here a lot, that I don't think most non-swingers would read much into. You could put something like "looking for a less than vanilla partner," in your profile. That would hopefully open up the conversation with potential partners who know what it means, and wouldn't outright scream "swinger" to those who don't. It also sounds just kinky enough that even if she doesn't know what it means to begin with, those who contact you are at least a little less likely to be a prude. Others chime in, if you think a lot of non-swingers would understand "vanilla" in this context. And if they do, what their reactions would be.

Philadelphia PA
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Great feedback Tramp, R&J and KJ. Thanks so much. I'm sure others in the Vanilla dating sites share my desires. I'd have to be really comfortable opening myself up to sharing this. I don't handle rejection well so I'd probably have to be pretty sure she'd be receptive to it before discussing.

Robert

Norcross GA
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"I'm wondering if I can go back to the light side."

Admittedly, I've only met you once. Nevertheless, you don't strike me as being the sort of guy who would have any problems going in whichever direction a relationship may take you and being happy with it...providing that it's the right relationship.

May the force be with you. ;^D

Tramp

Alpharetta GA
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Robert,

You might be surprised how many LS singles are also on Vanilla dating sites. After dating a gentleman for two years (from a vanilla site), we joined SLS (the site but not the activities). As you can see I also stayed once I became a single again, it's just too much fun to give up (forums, dances, flirting, etc.). As for the question, Scamp asked, I think iits a good one and makes sense. I'm a good LS single but not sure I would be willing to share my heart's desire (but that's just me). Most (not all) married couples I personally know who swing have been married and or committed for many many years. Perhaps if I meet someone and get those trust building years I could share.

On the other hand, I am a voyeur and an exhibitionist so there are ways for a couple to be in the LS without actually haveing to share their partner. So many ways to be a swinger.

Good luck finding your special person

Oak Ridge NC
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Tramp:. I guess I should have said that I can't do both at the same time. After discovering the LS from my last relationship I'm wondering if I can go back to the light side.

Time will tell. Till then I'm enjoying the conversations and meeting great people.

Robert

Norcross GA
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TOPIC: Finding a new partner in life (who also wants to swing)
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