Dating in the Vanilla World as a Swinger: Swingers Discussion 100442

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TOPIC: Dating in the Vanilla World as a Swinger

Created by: pussy977 Original Starting post for this thread:
I'm curious about how single swingers handle dating in the vanilla world. I've have swinger friends that have gone from one end of the spectrum to the other. One will quit swinging during the short term of his ever ending relationships. One swings behind his girlfriend's back. One doesn't define between swinging/sleeping around in the vanilla world. Others date on the level in the vanilla world and never tell the "vanillas" that they are swingers. Does one only date other single swingers that want the emotional connection too? Or does one date in the vanilla world either hoping to- 1)sway them over to the lifestyle? 2)give up swinging forever if the relationship turns serious? What works for you? Any success secrets? Any warnings to heed from lessons learned?

Created by: pussy977
Original Starting post for this thread:

I'm curious about how single swingers handle dating in the vanilla world. I've have swinger friends that have gone from one end of the spectrum to the other. One will quit swinging during the short term of his ever ending relationships. One swings behind his girlfriend's back. One doesn't define between swinging/sleeping around in the vanilla world. Others date on the level in the vanilla world and never tell the "vanillas" that they are swingers. 

Does one only date other single swingers that want the emotional connection too? 

Or does one date in the vanilla world either hoping to-
                            1)sway them over to the lifestyle? 
     
                            2)give up swinging forever if the relationship turns serious?

What works for you? Any success secrets? Any warnings to heed from lessons learned?

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User Details are only visible to members.	Slut!
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23750 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I have dated swingers and I have dated "civillians". When I dated swingers, it was pretty much a given that we would play with others if she wished and I wished. When I date civillians I let them know about my past and my lifestyle up front. If they want to experiment I am okay with that. If they want a monogamous relationship and I get emotionally involved with them, I am okay with that too. I was in a relationship with a civillian or vanilla or whatever you want to call a non-swinger for three years. I brought up marriage but she didn't like the idea of moving to WV and I wasn't gonna give up my career a second time to start over for a woman and possibly get burned again. What is funny is that for two years she bitched and nagged about me and the lady I was with before me being swingers until I sat her down and asked her how many people she had slept with. Imagine my surprise when the number for the past ten years was the same... I don't understand why some people think of "slut" as an insulting term. To me it just means a girl who is sexually liberated and knows how to enjoy herself and have a good time. Frigid should be the ugly word....
Logan WV			Username hidden (1022 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Most of the women I know are aware that I'm "swing-minded" (even some in my family)... the ones that accept it and enter a relationship with me also know that I don't lie or cheat and will not sleep with any other woman without their permission. The only one to even grant me permission was my most recent girl (now my ex), but I never even cared for doing any of it with anyone else (she was too good for me to even care about messing with anyone else). So, me? I let them know ahead of time and assure them that I am loyal and won't go doing any of that behind their backs - if they don't allow me to, I don't. Now if they can't take my word for it, then they don't trust me enough to be with me. Now most of the guys that I know I would not trust nor would I recommend to ANY couple out there... they love to brag and will not keep secrets. One even went as far as saying that I took him along to a gang bang this summer - I haven't even been around a gang bang in like 6-7 years and just watched at that one!
Rochester NY			Username hidden (336 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	You slut! :)
Rochester NY			Username hidden (10385 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	" Sure I will continue to date her. She will be dating other guys and I will be doing my thing." In other words, you'll just be getting naughty together lol....not "dating" silly.
St George UT			Username hidden (2113 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	"I even asked her if she'd like to join me sometime. But she said she didn't think she could do it. I will definitely see her again, but won't see her at any house parties." So you are going to continue to date her even though she would never swing? Hmmmmm....
St George UT			Username hidden (2113 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Mrick, This is EXACTLY the jist of this thread! One must decide under no uncertain terms how to approach dating in the vanilla world once they enter the lifestyle as a single. Do you give up the lifestyle and return to the vanilla world temporarily or even permanently? Do you swing behind their back hoping they'll never find out? Or do you tell them with hopes that they will join you? I'm soooo interested in hearing how it goes for you. I have watched my guy friends in the lifestyle handle it many different ways. It always boggled my mind lol. I, myself, (if I ever choose to date again lol) would tell them within the first three dates. Oh, hell! Who am I kidding? lol I don't want to date a vanilla man ever again!! lol The lifestyle men got what I want and I don't ever see myself leaving the lifestyle. ; )
St George UT			Username hidden (2113 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	"I'm not into vanilla for anything other than the occasional dish of ice cream." ROFLMAO!!!! Bravo!! I second this!! After being in the lifestyle I can't imagine EVER going back to the vanilla world for anything either.
St George UT			Username hidden (2113 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Pussy977, if I didn't live a thousand miles away, I'd want to pursue you! :D
Lawrenceville GA			Username hidden (119 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	"But in all honesty, this lifestyle has me completely satisfied with opportunity. I raise four children and have limited amounts of time to play. For me, why waste time with someone outside the lifestyle at this point in my life. Its a perfect match given my circumstances." I totally agree...I've been in the lifestyle now for two years and I can't ever see myself going back to the vanilla life--honestly. If I changed my mind ever and actually wanted to be in a relationship, I'd search within the lifestyle and NOT outside it. I think it is way too much trouble to try to convince a vanilla into the lifestyle and much easier to be with someone who chose it on their own.
St George UT			Username hidden (2113 post)

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TOPIC: Dating in the Vanilla World as a Swinger

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