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TOPIC: Being a single male in the lifestyle
Created by: meremsar
Original Starting post for this thread:
Granted the whole concept behind swinging is having a partner; but what about those periods between relationships? How then do you, as a single male, find a woman who is in the lifestyle? It's not as if you can ask any woman "do you swing?" Even with sex being a more open topic of discussion now, it isn't a subject that can be approached lightly. To further the difficulty, you are now practically shunned from all of the groups/clubs you once attended. Or asked for exceptionally high donations which wouldn't be necessary if a more thorough screening were employed. There are easy ways to discern who is there for a quick lay, and who is truly involved in the lifestyle. As far as getting "certified" on this site; I don't need your authentication as to who I am and living up to my word. If I say I will or won't do something, write it in stone. I'm not here to hook up, I want to find a partner already involved in the lifestyle. I thought this would be a good place to start. Looks like I was wrong.

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Hmmm

Rumson NJ
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Yes, "cryptic" is a good description of DMike's posts. He creates a profile, pays so he can post, puts up 3 of them that say pretty much the same thing, then disappears. My initial impression was that his wife left him, but that isn't clear. It isn't even clear that his wife approved of having another man put her in his profile, although it's pretty clear that DMike didn't. He sounds unhappy, I'm surprised he didn't identify the profile he's talking about to try to sabotage the guy.

So many questions, and no answers! DMike, we await your response!

Henderson NV
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Thanks Shell. Maybe that explains the cryptic posts. I'm curious to see if DMike will respond. I hope he does. As I've said, I like closure. Used to be a big fan of Paul Harvey.

Please don't forget to let me know about your travel plans.

BT

Boston MA
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BT / LT, I looked at his profile and Dmike joined the site on 10/28, promptly posted 3 warnings about "a wolf in sheep's clothing" and hasn't been back online since.

Mrs. U

Memphis TN
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Dmike,

I noticed that you've posted about this situation more than once.

I can't see your profile. So, as I fly blind, I wonder, offer, and ask... You still call her your wife, but post with as a SM? Are you two still together? Do you play together? Is this a cuck relationship gone bad? Have you talked about this with her? Did you not raise the issue as you saw it happening?

Not blaming you. Just asking. What does your wife say about being described as another man's play partner on his profile? I would think that if she felt as you do, she could easily put a stop to things. There has to be a level of trust and understanding within a relationship in order for it to remain intact when non-monogamy is involved. It takes two to tango as they say and it sounds from what I've read that your wife is a willing dance partner.

Now, don't take that as me trying to justify what the SM in question has done/is doing. I'm not. I think it's horrific, classless, selfish, and flies in the face of what I, and a number of my SM friends believe this "thing" is supposed to be about. As you've described things, it appears that he is not a noble man and clearly, he has no honor or respect for your relationship. My intention here isn't isn't to offend, but it seems that your wife might be cut from the same cloth.

What have her actions been, and what does she say about this whole situation?

BT

Boston MA
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Wow dmike so sorry to hear. I can't imagine who'd do such an awful thing. :(

Rumson NJ
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Welcome to the forum.

Memphis TN
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"Location is key" --------------------------- Hosted a couple from out of town last weekend...I guess I was in the right location?

Jacksonville FL
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"Location is the key."

While generally that is true, I've been fortunate enough to have visitors from across the country, and even north of the border.. :-)

Emeryville CA
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Will Penn - that's Church right there! - I also received one such message yesterday (1st one unsolicited), we'll see how it goes tonight. Patience and an unwavering positive attitude!

Jacksonville FL
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TOPIC: Being a single male in the lifestyle