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TOPIC: what_to_do_afterwards
Created by: wantoexplore
Original Starting post for this thread:
Were new to this and I was just wondering what cpls do after the meeting if you do get down to business..lol. Do most cpls keep in touch or is that the end of it and move on.

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First , make sure to gather up all your clothing . Keep in touch with those you wish to keep in touch with.

Sarasota FL
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scorpwarped echoes our feelings in many ways- MOST OF THE TIME, after several playdates (which could be 3 or 30- depends on the couple!) i tend to move toward a friendship over continued play. let's be frank- after you play more than a few times with a couple, you may have also become friends outside of the"playground." it's now developed into a new relationship, in which you get to see the good, bad and ugly. you get to know each other better, and the pure lust and chemistry that drew you together in the first place is now PART of the relationship instead of the whole thing. suddenly- it's a REALITY relationship instead of a FANTASY one! i don't know about you folks but I don't want too much reality creeping into my swinging time!

this isn't a hard, fast rule- we've been with couples multiple times that we have NOTHING in common with except good ol' fashioned lust and the ability to make each other come- those we could play with again and again with no "risk". but when we end up finding a common ground and actually enjoy a couple's company both horizonally AND vertically- chances are they will eventually become friends first and occasional playmates.

Sterling VA
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The goals described here are fairly common, and most serious swingers will continue to keep in touch with other swingers, whether there is sex involved or not. But we have met and had fun with several couples who just disappear afterwards. They are mainly new couples. We don't prefer this, but it happens, so just be prepared for that. We prefer to stay in touch :) and most times more touching....

Pelham AL
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There are all kinds of "relationships." There are also all kinds of marriages. In some marriages, each spouse gives the other all that they could ever want emotionally. Then swinging would be just for recreational fun, not a search for some special couple that would meet some sort of need that is not being met at home.

We've played with people we never saw again after the first time. We've played with some a few times and that was the end. Some couples we've played with off & on for 10 years. For about 3 years we were part of a 4-couple group that played together often, just the 8 of us. We even did vanilla things together and overnight trips together, doing vanilla things by day and swinging by night.

We have now met some really attractive people who have a polyamory kind of relationship and wanted us to become part of it. We won't, because we aren't interested in that kind of relationship. We enjoy these people and will party with them, but we won't become part of a polyamory relationship because we are wonderfully content with the relationship between just the two of us.

We continue to swing for fun and for the social connections with swingers, whom we just find more fun to be around - dressed OR naked - than most vanillas. But we are not looking for any kind of emotional attachments or to fulfill any needs that aren't met in our own marital relationship.

Swinging is fun - that's all. But we recognize that there are nearly as many motivations for swinging as there are swingers. So if some people find that developing polyamory relationships or any other kind of "special" attachments with other swinging couples or singles fulfills their lives in a way that isn't being fulfilled at home, well, good for them!

Whatever floats your boat is ok with us. If it works for you, terrific.

So "what to do afterwards" is entirely up to you and your spouse/partner. There are no rules except the ones that you agree upon. Just be honest and upfront with the couples & singles you play with so that they can decide if what you want is also what they want.

As long as you don't hurt anyone physically or emotionally, just do it your way.

Jim

Culpeper VA
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Every couple is different. Some are good for one or two plays, and thats it. Others you want to see regularly. Don't get too attached, because the lifestyle is not about attachments. I would rather not play and stay friends than play and things become awkward. shelly

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Just as sex with your spouse got better and better over the years, so it is with swinging playmates. The increasing comfort level with each other and the improved knowledge of each other's "hot buttons" makes for better and more satisfying sex.

Not every couple we've played with remains our friends. We've played with couples that for one reason or another we knew afterward that we didn't want to get together with them again. But more often than not, if we have decided we like a couple enough to play with them once, we will want to play with them repeatedly. So the next day we send them an email saying how much we enjoyed our time with them and that we hope to get together with them again soon.

If they felt the same way (and usually you KNOW if they did), then we embark on a friendship with benefits that lasts a while. Some even last years.

Jim

Culpeper VA
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We like repeat performances as well, and usually keep in touch by im, emails and such.

Houston TX
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Welcum to the forums Want

It is usually up to what you and they are comfy with. I have found that most people I have met like to keep in touch to some type of extent. I tend to ask questions to what they are looking for before meeting whenever possible. If it is someone I totally clicked with upon meeting them at a party then I might send an e-mail to see if they felt the same connection. I usually play it by ear to see what their comfort level seems to be in contacting back and go from there.

I am not very pushy in pursuing a relationship if I don't feel it in the response back. I know my not being pushy has cost me relationships that would have probably been good ones. I tend to let them take the ball and run with it if that is their desire. If their response back is too narrow focused or generic, I let it go.

Fort Worth TX
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That really dpends on the couple. What you want. We keep contact with those that are truely a blast. We enjoy repeat performances.

So if you want to keep contact do if not don't.

Bridgeport PA
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Were new to this and I was just wondering what cpls do after the meeting if you do get down to business..lol. Do most cpls keep in touch or is that the end of it and move on.

Kettering OH
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TOPIC: what to do afterwards
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