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what if she is more into the lifestyle : Swingers Discussion 37168
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TOPIC: what if she is more into the lifestyle
Created by: barbandchas
Original Starting post for this thread:
what do you do when the female half is more into this then the male some friends of ours are going through this now and he has no passion for the lifestyle right now and she does not want to stop

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I know all too well about this subject..........it's why my ex is my ex.

Luckily I've moved on to a much better and more satisfying relationship.

Quakertown PA
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Ms. Kitty and Just want:

I am in the exact same situation. He knows I won't leave him. He's seen me go through the normal feelings associated with relationships. He's a chicken in that area. He would much rather say safe than venture out. He hasn't brought any one home in about a decade. smile. She is much younger. They had a ball. We are still friends with her. Interestingly enough, I didn't find her to be my "type." Her nickname is HARD. She's a body builder. Smile.. I like my ladies soft...go figure.

The couple who is not communicating...is in fact communicating. She's telling him, very directly, that she doesn't care what he's thinking/feeling. This is a no go. He should get some help. She might be beyond his grasp. This is not a lifestyle issue. It's a relationship issue. sigh. Good luck.

mischief<---wishes she was on the west coast.

Glen Burnie MD
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We couldn't have said it better Jawwge. No one is bashing you it's just that the other couples are all in agreement about the balance of things. This particular couple was not and therein lies the difference.

Center Valley PA
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No crapping here Tina, you two have obviously come to agreement, my thoughts are the other couple has not. Prudes rule! It's easier for someone comfortable with something to hold back than it is for someone uncomfortable with something to procede.

Mike

Bedford PA
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Another one to agree with Tina and Eric....

I'm trying to figure out why swinging for so many people has to mean that both people have to like and want to do all the same things... If you are into this scene AT ALL, there has to be trust. If there isn't then I would agree that neither should be participating.

If there is then I see absolutely NO problem with one or the other going off and doing their own thing, so long as all limits from the primary relationship are still respected and nothing is done on the low down.

My husband I have had this type of relationship for more than 10 years. I primarily swing alone, we occasionally swing together. We are best friends, with a happy marriage. Anyone who says our relationship is in trouble just because we don't always want the same things sexually is just doesn't get "it".

Good luck to your friend..... (and to all the halves of couples out there who wish they could play on their own, but are afraid to admit it for fear of people thinking that they are in eminent danger of their relationship falling apart!)

~Sticky!

Carmichael CA
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If she insists on going alone, then she is putting swinging ahead of her marriage. If that's the case, then their marriage is in dire jeopardy.

South Riding VA
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she has said she will go on her own and I see this as a very big problem I think they need to step aside and work on each other

Owego NY
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If swinging becomes more important to someone than their spouse's happiness, there IS a major problem in their marriage. Nobody should be pushed into swinging, or once into swinging, nobody should be pushed to swing more often than what they are comfortable with, and nobody should ever take one for the team.

In swinging, the ONLY appropriate approach is to proceed at the pace of whichever of you is least comfortable, even if that means calling a temporary halt or quitting altogether.

South Riding VA
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It would seem to us that if hat is the way it is for them they probably need to put the brakes on and seek outside help. There may be some underlying issues there that need to be worked out before continuing.

Center Valley PA
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what do you do when the female half is more into this then the male some friends of ours are going through this now and he has no passion for the lifestyle right now and she does not want to stop

Owego NY
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TOPIC: what if she is more into the lifestyle