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to kiss or not to kiss what is the answer : Swingers Discussion 36383
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TOPIC: to kiss or not to kiss what is the answer
Created by: fantasylife42
Original Starting post for this thread:
Ok I'm sure there are alot of people out there they want to know this question..........lol. You see to me I think that kissing is to personal. When you are playing with another couple. Or just a 3some. To me that takes away from the " this is just sex" part of the life style. I know that I'm probably taking this a little to far but I would like to know others input on this. I dont mind girl on girl kissing but the thoughts of kissing another man besides my husband just dont feel right to me. I understand that it may help for that to happen in a situation, but its just not for me. I really dont want to see another woman kissing him. Just because to me that is part of LOVE and that is for us. Again I know that everyone will have their oppinion about this so dont jump me. I just want to see how everyone thinks. Thanks Mrs. Fantasylife

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We love kissing when we are with others. Not only is it fun but adds so much to the flirting teasing and taunting of one another before we have each other. We however do not lay in the bed to cuddle wth another couple, we will hug, kiss, kiss their neck, ear, touch etc while off the bed . It has nothing to do with being intimate with another. That part of our play we enjoy giving to one another to show our love and appreciation for one anothe .We have and will laways have one rule that we will never violate. That rule being we will always come to one another after playing , not just to fuck but to love one another even more.

Sarasota FL
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When we first started swing we didn't kiss other people. We wanted to preserve something as just ours. Not to share.

As we progressed into the lifestyle. We came to realize we have the best thing kept all to ourselves. The ability to make love.

But really it is something you have to decide between yourselves.

Bridgeport PA
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The female side of this couple loves to lay on a chest at the end of a great session. Whether that chest is mine or the person she was with at the time.................it's usually the only dry spot on the bed.

Elmer NJ
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Oh my Newly. Well, everybody's marriage works the way it should for them but I just can't imagine a life without a lot of kisses and cuddles from my loverboy. It would make me sad.

Saint Augustine FL
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Wow, haven't read this post for awhile since I last posted, but oh my, no kissing, no cuddling? Where is the intimacy? Where is the sensuality? Kissing to me in and of itself is an expression of not only sexuality, but is so very sensual. I don't know how anyone else feels, but I believe that sensuality and sexuality go hand in hand with each other. Could never imagine of justing fucking--I would feel like a piece of meat, but there done that, but without kissing, caressing, touching, the explorationof the human body, I couldn't even go there as what would you be allowed to do? I would feel like a prostitute to be treated like fresh meat, and if so, would be making the money just fucking people.

Jerome PA
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Before our very first experience, we discussed and agreed upon the "no kissing" rule, then on our way to our first experience, we changed the rule to no "deep/passionate kissing". We had a great first experience. Everything went as expected and all had a good time. We did learn during our talk on the way home that we both broke the "kissing" rule. We were both a bit upset as breaking a rule was not a good thing, but we discussed and eventually decided that kissing was an important part of the whole experience to us. It would be hard for us now to play with others that do not kiss.

By the way Poly, we would caress you anytime.......

Elmer NJ
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"Keeping something just between the two of you" is not necessarily a sign of insecurity. It is just another reflection of comfort zones. Almost all of us start out swinging with boundaries that define our comfort zones, and as time goes by if we continue to swing we expand the boundaries of our comfort zone a little at a time, until at some point boundaries rarely even come up.

It does seem strange to us, though, that anyone would consider kissing to be more intimate than oral sex or intercourse, and especially that anyone would consider kissing to be "more along with dating and love" than fucking! However, everyone is at a different place in their lives, their relationships, and their swinging experience, and we all bring into that mix our own experiences and upbringing and beliefs we were taught before we ever even thought about swinging.

Nobody is "right" or "wrong" in this choice - we are all just different.

Again, it seems to us (and that's JUST us, not necessarily anyone else) that what we "keep just between the two of us" is our love and commitment and devotion to each other. Kissing, intercourse, or anal sex are just other artificial constraints that some couples choose as outward signs of their commitment to each other.

So to each his/her own. Yes, couples who don't permit kissing are not for us, because we enjoy kissing very much and find it to be an integral and necessary part of the foreplay that builds the excitement and desire to have sex. But we aren't going to tell anyone they are "wrong" for not kissing. There are lots of other fish in the sea, so if someone's boundaries or limits are a misfit for us, we just pass them by and keep searching for a more compatible couple.

South Riding VA
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I'm not even going to play the semantics game. However,

"Why do I say insecure? Same reason I gave before. The people may feel like kissing would cause one spouse to leave another."

There are many reasons why people don't kiss. We're kissers but respect those who don't choose to. But, if anyone feels that kissing could cost them their spouse, fucking won't?????? If one's afraid of loosing their spouse the don't belong in the lifestyle at all.

Saint Augustine FL
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In some cultures kissing has very diffrent meanings to some than to others. As a native american we dont take kissing lightly, and in most ways i dont even consider it sexual. Even direct eye contact in most cases is considered rude to many native americans. The home i grew up in there was not kissing from parents or any physical affection shown at all. We do understand that most others have diffrent ways of doing things than i do and i try to keep in mind that when a friend comes up to me and gives me a big hug and a kiss that i am not being raped, lol. We also DO kiss our children often in our home and huggs among us are done in passing. And while the kisses i get from my little girl are the joy of my life, and certainly not sexual, i never kiss our friends children even though it is quite common here for them to do so were we live now. My wife was raised a lot diffrent than i was and pysical affection was common in her home , but i guess because she knows how i am she now feells much the same about kising with swing partners as i do. Kisses on the neck, ears and such , no problem . I do understand that i am the odd one about this and understand others outlook on it , so if others feel kissing with swing partners is just part of the playing it is not at all a problem to me, in fact i often envy others ability to show affection that way.

Repton AL
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KIss,KISS,KISS.KISS,KISS AND KISS IS ALL ABOUT THE KISS

Carmel NY
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TOPIC: to kiss or not to kiss what is the answer