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suggestions for newbies about secret handshake, code word, question, etc : Swingers Discussion 2145681021
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FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsSwinger Advicesuggestions for newbies about secret handshake, code word, question, etc
TOPIC: suggestions for newbies about secret handshake, code word, question, etc
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Nothing wrong with plain ol' fashioned civility (yeah, we know. In short supply these days). Anyhoo -- we don't play on first dates and we let them know that up front. We tell them that we have enjoyed the meeting and will get back with them -- and we do. If we really want to see them again we let them know. If one (we each have veto power) says no, we let them know that -- politely -- too. You don't have to go into specifics (bad grooming, scary demeanor, zip chemistry, etc.). Just a simple statement that we didn't feel we were very compatible and wished them well in the future. Ain't rocket science. And it avoids awkward moments and hurt feelings that aren't necessary.

Charlotte NC
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At a club an easy way is to hold hands and give one squeeze for yes, two for no. If it's loud and you are just wandering through and stop to chat, you can quickly tell if you want to continue the conversation or move on.

Youngstown OH
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Gee, I wonder how it would be if all 4 people just stayed at the table and openly described how they felt.

Understood that some feelings could be hurt. But for us, we'd actually rather know. If we're just rejected, we can only wonder -- was it bad hair? A joke that didn't go over well?

If you're on the edge of saying yes/no, an open discussion may be exactly what's needed. Isn't it better to express any misgivings in advance? Sometimes it's going to be a misunderstanding or wrong assumption, and you can clear it up and move along.

Flat Rock NC
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@losamantes - It was so silly. I was like, "I can hear you, you know?!" LOL

Lahaina HI
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LOL WannaTry, sounds like something out of an old "I Love Lucy" episode.

Virginia Beach VA
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Hubby and I don't have a secret code word or motion or anything like that. But we met up with a couple once that did! It was so stupid because it was soooo obvious. It was hilarious.

And no...we didn't have any chemistry.

Lahaina HI
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Yes, if we meet a couple out we like it to be a place where we can separate from the other couple for a minute or so; bars with high-top tables (vs being stuck in a booth) and pool halls are great for this.

We do though have a little signal we learned on here just a few weeks ago; rub your eye for yes (aye ~ like a pirate!) or rub your nose for no. Oftentimes though our own body language with each other provides good signals.

Another thing we'll do sometimes is sit on opposite sides of the table. If we are both leaning in a bit, towards the other couple then we can each tell it's good. However, if either one of us is leaning away from the other partner and not making much eye contact with that person, then it's pretty clear it's not clicking. This is why high-top tables are great (leaving is relatively easy) compared to a booth (where it can be more difficult to extracate yourselves without the direct, "I gotta get up!" It's all part of the fun :)

Bensalem PA
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When we meet a new couple it's usually at a restaurant or club. In our experience it's been customary for one couple to leave the table for a few minutes at some point near the end of the meeting, giving both couples the opportunity to talk things over. If we're at a club or party we just step away for a quick chat. We tried the secret code thing and found that for us, playmate choices were too complicated to be decided by a secret handshake or code word.

Virginia Beach VA
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we are really scratching our heads for a code word, question, "secret handshake" to use to let each other know whether all systems are GO or one of us would rather say "nice meeting you" and move on.

Any of you willing to share some smart suggestions? What have you found has worked for you? Thanks!!!

Hollywood FL
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TOPIC: suggestions for newbies about secret handshake, code word, question, etc