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FORUMS General Discussions Swinger Advice suggestions for newbies about secret handshake, code word, question, etc
TOPIC: suggestions for newbies about secret handshake, code word, question, etc
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As for having the "no play on the first date" rule ... Yes, not getting caught up in the moment is a downside of that, but it also depends on what you are looking for. We are looking for friends with benefits. We want to get to know the other couple to make sure there is an intellectual connection. It is not just sex for us. If it was all about sex, honestly, either one of us could go get laid any time we want. We came to SLS to meet like minded couples with whom to be friends. Now ... With all that said ... "rule" might be a strong word, because we have broken it. Perhaps "guideline" is better. If we do a lot of chatting/texting, sometimes that kind of takes the place of the first date. What try to avoid, though, is the pressure of getting to know a couple and all at the same time try to decide if there is 4-way attraction. If we decide there is a connection BEFORE the first date, we will happily get naked on day 1.

Erie PA
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Sometimes it takes weeks or months to meet a specific couple. If you are swept up by the moment, do you say "nice meeting you" and expect to get back together in a few weeks or months? It's a quandary.

Flat Rock NC
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OK, why the "not on the first date" rule? I can imagine it is good in that it lets you both think, talk, evaluate, etc. But what about losing the spontaneity and fun of the moment? What are your thoughts on this?

Tampa FL
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We go the same route as chimera ... No playing on the first date. It keeps the first meeting more relaxed. We used to try having a code word. It was too complicated and distracting. If there is chemistry on day one, it will be there again the next time!

Erie PA
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I just pull my zipper down.

Youngstown OH
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Good idea....I'll run that bi her.

Newborn GA
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I agree with Nic ;)

Louisville KY
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@Firequeen. That seems counter-intuitive. If she "let's her hair down", seems like that should be a GO!

;^D

Youngstown OH
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@firequeen - How clever! Gotta remember that one. :)

@outdoors - You know...I think for me and hubby's next meet, that's what I want to do. Just come out and ask the question. Stop the pussy-footing around. Then I can tell the guy (that isn't flirting with me at all), that I just wasn't feelin' it from him. Politely, of course and with a smile.

Lahaina HI
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The wife wears a hairbow. If i see her take it down and hold it or place it on table, i know it's a no go. If she keeps it in her hair, it is a go.

Newborn GA
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TOPIC: suggestions for newbies about secret handshake, code word, question, etc