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same room or separate rooms : Swingers Discussion 1947661071
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TOPIC: same room or separate rooms
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Do we have a winner yet? ;-)

Visalia CA
 
 
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FLIRT, this is the usual mountains out of mole hills scenarios we play out here every so often. it never ceases to amaze me how easily offended some grown adults are. it's just silly. i questioned something you said because i was trying to understand what was really going on in your post, but you've now assembled the all-star cast, (except for one who hasn't shown up yet) and at this point, you have to let them have the last word or it will never end.

the bottom line is simple. some people who visit these forums can say something that causes an all out flame war. some one else can say the exact same thing a week or two later, and no one says jack shit. it's just the way it is, and it will probably never change.

you've got a few problems here bro. you speak your mind, you still carry your own balls, and you don't kiss the right asses around here. you keep heading down this road and soon people will begin blocking you and sending out emails to "warn" others about you. :)

Orlando FL
 
 
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LOL RDY...he does have a way of making all women feel special doesn't he lol That man could charm the skin off a snake and he does it with sincerity.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
 
 
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Everyone has issues and insecurities over coming them is the path of human growth. It's those who would be so immature as to to not learn how to control those issues and insecurities and so selfish as to inject those into to someone else's playtime, whether it's same or separate rooms who we want nothing to do with.

Now I know their here,always have been and always will,and they can be and do what ever and were every they want, their just not going to do it in out bed room and mess up our good time.


 
 
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"Maybe next time you are in a group sex thing, tell the person you are with how much better than they are than your partner (so everyone can hear) and let me know the outcome. Who knows, maybe I'm just some dumb kid."

I am completely,unequivocally turned off by ANY comment or complain that includes someone else's spouse. I don't find it flattering to hear a man say "Oh my God you're so much better than my wife " AT ANYTHING and would immediately put a halt to things said like that. Swinging FOR US isn't about comparisons and I am sad for you if you somehow think it is appropriate or flattering to compare one women to another out loud and think that's a compliment. We pick our partners very carefully and one of the things we require of them is that they have a noticeable respectful and loving relationship. If we get the slightest hint they're insecure, have issues, drama laced or not madly in love with their partner we bolt immediately. We don't have jealousy issues or insecurities that relate to our swinging and in fact encourage and celebrate when our partners have a terrific time. I also know that although Mr Sav may think your wife is hot, a gifted loved and gives great blow jobs he would never make a comment in such a way that it would be a back handed insult to me. He has far too much class and tact for that and although he LOVES and admires women and compliments them regularly he does so in a respectful manner to her and myself. To each their own, if you're happy I am happy for you. I have no opinion on whether or not you "should" be a swinger or how you swing only where it applies to your question....same room or separate.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
 
 
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short PS: we both love it when someone else compliments either of us. I've sat on the stairwell with a swing partner watching our spouses go at it on the floor and said to my friend, "wow, he moves really well with her!" and have both gotten the giggles about it. Same in reverse when my mr. enjoys when someone hits it right and gets me off. He's secure. I'm secure. We're good.

San Antonio TX
 
 
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While no one is "better than my partner" for me, there are indeed things that may be more fun or erotic with another person. If in separate rooms, we bring that back to our relationship. If we are in the same room, we see it for ourselves. I've never had anyone say, or heard anyone say outloud," Wow...that was better than my spouse!" Geeze. Who would do that in same room OR separate room? Really?

There are benefits to both preferences. What's the best scenario? The one which you and your partner agree is best for your style, preferences, and fun. It doesn't have to be about insecurities, even though sometimes that's the case.

While we had a great, compatable sex life to begin with, swinging made it even more of an honest one. It's been an evolution. I've only been jealous once, and that was a matter of my perspective being skewed early on. Husband was on the bed lying behind the female and looking very sexy, when in actuality the sexiness was the look in his eyes towards ME. I misread it, we talked about it, there were no arguments or accusations or defenses, and it made for an even closer open communication between us.

some of the most uncomfortable moments for us have been in separate rooms: 1. a guy wouldn't let me open the door till I got him off w/ a blow job (that was our worst experience with a couple and one we'll never repeat), and the female just wasn't what she claimed to be for Mr. 2. one guy blurted out, Gina I love you. I just acted as if I didn't hear him. 3. one couple used the separate room time to complain about the other person. agh. We were friends, usually played in a big group, they are now divorcing.

some of the most fun moments in separate rooms: 1. our house party, a guy and I broke our bed. Well he did, he was quite athletic and enthusiastic. 2. Mr got to do one of his favorite things with a woman who asked him to (they are our favorite swing couple, in VA, and we miss them, as we all 4 were very compatable and usually ended up the night all 4 of us together in our bed) 3. I got to watch said swing husband above masturbate, and that prob wouldn't have happened with a bigger audience. Quiet, erotic and very sexy. (and yes, I "helped"...said in my best shake n bake accent)

So...there are positives and "negatives" in every situation. We see all negatives as learning experiences. I could go on and list more, but you get the idea. if any of the negatives freaks you or your partner out, then same room would be easier. If the positives outweigh any potential negtives, then ok, do your thing in separate rooms.

Trouble arises (pardon the pun) when a man wants a woman alone and it bothers the wife, her imagine becomes fretful and she's worrying that they are having too much fun. What in the hell constitutes too much fun? I was HAPPY my husband got to do something with the other wife that I don't offer as often. (anal, for inquiring minds...I have to be really in the mood and relaxed for that, and it "aint'" happening in a swing situation). He sometimes likes me to go off on my own with someone, or more than one and come back to him later at a party.

HOWEVER, we both like to watch each other. THE most erotic sensual and satisfying experiences happen when we're having fun together. We've grabbed each other's hand and squeezed, or we've both worked on the female at the same time and just share that 'knowing' look between us. That's really hot. We've fucked and been fucked all on the same bed, or in the same room, etc.

It's whatever experience works for you. But throw jealousy, insecurity, drama into ANY scenario and that's when you'll get the comments you've gotten here from experienced swingers whov'e seen it all crash and burn all too often. it's not being swing police, it's being voice of experience. we can only comment on what you choose to share of yourselves, and to endlessly debate it doesn't really help anyone.

Happy fucking, Gina

San Antonio TX
 
 
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*Who knows, maybe I'm just some dumb kid.*

There is nothing kid about you, stop kidding yourself, you're a grown man. You can swing any way you want to, there is no bible that instructs you how to swing. It's just that some of the things that you posted sounded, apparently to quite a few people really odd.

It is not being rude to compliment someone else, and if your wife or any wife for that matter who is so insecure that she'd take that as a jab at her, is her problem to deal with, not the third party that is paying the compliment. I suggest that you sit down and try to understand through open and honest communication, what the exact problem is before you proceed to get involved further in any situation that may trigger the insecurities of the Mrs, any Mrs or Mr.

Colts Neck NJ
 
 
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I never said if I did or i didn't agree that they shouldn't be here. I'm just stating it's a fact that they are here and who the hell are you to tell them they shouldn't be? Is there some swingers bible that you have that I don't? I'm not choosing your playmates and you aren't choosing mine, so what does it matter. If it was up to you and a few others here rules, 90% of the members here wouldn't be allowed.

I guess people in different areas of the country are just different. I still don't see any good coming from being rude to people just to make yourself feel better. Maybe next time you are in a group sex thing, tell the person you are with how much better than they are than your partner (so everyone can hear) and let me know the outcome. Who knows, maybe I'm just some dumb kid.

Grand Blanc MI
 
 
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I think I would like it. But I already know my wife wouldnt. So we will not be doing any separate rooms play.

Keyport NJ
 
 
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TOPIC: same room or separate rooms