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open relationships and swinging alone : Swingers Discussion 2012661021
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TOPIC: open relationships and swinging alone
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Good point Nmann....If I traveled and wanted to let my wife play while I was gone, I'd much rather know the person and have it "pre approved" vs having some douche she met at the bar beat the shit out of her or worse.

Grand Blanc MI
 
 
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Very interesting posts here. There are a few wives in my circle that I see without their husbands. The reason for that is that I've been seeing each of them for a minimum of six months. I've found that it's just as important to build trust with the husband as it is with the wife. For good reason, the husbands are very protective of their wives in the lifestyle. There are lots of good people here, but lots of shady folks as well. Occasionally, a husband will suggest I play with his wife alone before I think we're ready and I'll let them know. The last thing I ever want to do is come between a married couple, especially when children are involved. I make absolutely sure there aren't any serious bonds that will be built.

As for why, some husbands travel a lot and they want a man to take care of their wives while they're gone. Others are older or have a physical/hormonal limitation, but their wives still desire a man who can give them all they can handle. Others get a thrill out of knowing their wives are alone with another guy. Related to that last point, one husband loves watching his wife on video with another guy - kind of a porn fetish.

Fort Washington MD
 
 
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always trust that gut feeling. Always.

San Antonio TX
 
 
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There are a LOT of couples we have found where one is in control and the other is along for the ride.

We try to avoid that.

Hell, we havent been on here together in about a month. Life just has been busy. Im playing on the forums here but we have 80+ messages blinking. I wont check them on my own until we are together. Thats our rule as a couple.

Mount Juliet TN
 
 
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Swinging can be anything you want it to be if you agree as a couple.

My BIGGEST turn on is when my wife has a chance encounter. She goes camping with family and ends up hanging out with people. Stuff like that.

Once in a while she will meet a guy, just by chance, not online or a set hookup and they will end up hooking up. Like meeting a guy at the gym, or friends house.

In a case like that, she will shoot me a text, tell me whats going on, and ask if she has the green light if something should happen.

Then if it does she comes home and tells me about me. I find that sometimes more hot than when Im involved.

So in that case, she is swinging alone, the relationship is somewhat open, but its still considered a couples activity because we are both involved in the consent.

I give her the open option to go ahead if she wants when she encounters those situations.

My only concern is her safety. If she is at a bar and wants to leave with someone, I want details. Where she is going, who she is with, and her to keep some contact with me. I also will try to be not too far away from where they end up.

As far as me. When I go back to our home state, I have a couple friends there as well. Im allowed to have some fun but still run it by her.

So as long as you agree as a couple. You can make your own rules.

Its when one person is playing without the others knowlege or approval that there is a problem.

We get tons of messages from couple profiles that say "we're allowed to play alone" but in reality, I think few of those are truthful. The "couple" profile is the bait, along with the female pictures. In reality, the man is on the computer at 2 am while his wife is sleeping having no idea that there are naked pics of her on the internet.

Mount Juliet TN
 
 
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We're not that young.

Whitehouse Station NJ
 
 
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I don't mean to press the issue, or to treat you like a child, but you two are so very young to be considering some of the "heavy" ideas you're tossing around. Separate play requires a level of trust and maturity that many couples don't have after 20-30 years of marriage.

You seem very sweet and sincere and I applaud your contemporary ideas about the lifestyle, but honestly, I can't decide if you two are ahead of your time, or just in time for the train to disastertown.

No offense intended. Sincerely.

Orlando FL
 
 
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Well, if you have control over your partner then you have a closed relationship. If your partner is free to do as she pleases then you have an open relationship. Pretty simple, really.

Whitehouse Station NJ
 
 
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I thought it was married, but play with whomever whenever sort of thing. IDK. Maybe its another "define it yourself" situation.

Orlando FL
 
 
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We play separately, without each others "approval" first. However, I don't consider our relationship an open one. I have always considered open relationships to be those relationships where they are married but living two separate lives.

Carrie

Corpus Christi TX
 
 
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TOPIC: open relationships and swinging alone