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TOPIC: open relationships and swinging alone
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The OP asked what the pros and cons were... I wouldn't consider this book a pro/con type of book... it has topics about the different styles, dealing with jealousy, raising children, when something changes, etc. You decide whether its a Pro or a Con for yourself.

Visalia CA
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There's a book called 'Opening Up - A guide to creating and sustaining Open Relationships' by Tristan Taormino. It describes all the different type of "open relationships".

Visalia CA
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JD, I'm the same. Mr. is rarely on here unless I show him something of interest. In our circles of swing friends, it's usually the female who arranges outings, events, and is the one to set the pace. We all have solid marriages with secure men who like when we say, "oh, there's a couple who wants to meet us this weekend..." or "there's a profile I'm interested in," stuff like that. Sometimes it is one of the men who is the forum-chatty one, but the percentage is usually higher for the women.

A lot of guys will just go along with our plans, happily. And none of the people we hang out with have husbands who "just watch." All are enthusiastic participants.

San Antonio TX
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If you picked up someone from a bar, they could seem like the greatest person until you get home. I don't think anyone would purposely try to, but if I was a woman beater or fucked up in the head, it wouldn't be hard for me to play off like I'm the nicest guy ever to get her home.


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Its not. But we have found swinging tends to be a little more male dominated in many cases.

Not always. Not everyone. But the scale as a whole is tipped that way. From our experience.

It is in our own relationship as well. Thats why our email box is full because we havent checked emails in a month.

If I had my way, we would be playing all the time. Im ready and willing 24/7.

My wife goes in waves. There are times shes not interested. Times that she could take it or leave it. Then there are times where you would think she were a different person. She WANTS IT NOW AND A LOT OF IT.

I love those times.

I would be online everynight checking emails and communicating. She goes weeks where she just has no interest at all. She would rather do the dishes and then watch tv.

I find it frustrating sometimes because we will start a back and forth with people and have something going and then just disappear for a while.

But I dont push her. I wait until she wants to go online or until she brings it up. Then we do it together.

I know we would play a lot more if I brought it up more, or if I were more pushy about it. But for me the major turn on is when SHE wants it. When SHE desires it ON HER OWN.

So I leave it at that. When you meet us. Youre meeting the real us. You have talked with both of us at the same time. We both have read and responded to every email. And we both want to meet.

But thats not the case with many. He did the work. She said "Ok, ill do it if it will make you happy" and he runs with it.

Same thing I would do if I werent as conscious about it.

Mount Juliet TN
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Not at the moment. But I shall inform her :)

Mount Juliet TN
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Does your wife know I want to run my tongue over her lovely breast?

White Hse Sta NJ
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Many times we have met couples who right up front it was apparant that this was something he set up and she just agreed to go along with.

She has no idea whats on "their" profile. She has no clue of the conversation. She just is going along with her guy to keep him happy.

We get a lot of males with couple profiles wanting to play on their own. Does she have any idea there are naked pics of her on the internet?

Mount Juliet TN
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"having some douche she met at the bar beat the shit out of her..."

Just curious. Is she really prone to carrying on and on as if she is an authority on any and every topic of conversation? ;)

St Augustine FL
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If your wife isn't selective enough to choose someone who isn't a douche who will beat the shit out of her I agree with you.

White Hse Sta NJ
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TOPIC: open relationships and swinging alone