no shows for house parties: Swingers Discussion 78464

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TOPIC: no shows for house parties

Created by: nccrystalcoastcpl Original Starting post for this thread:
Why do so many people beg for house parties, beg to be invited and then don't show up or even call. We just hosted our first house party, numerous couples contacted us wanting to come to the party, were all excited about coming, then never show. We had 7 couples confirmed about coming, then only 2 couples show up Whats up with that? Is this normal? The 2 couples that did show had a great time, but we went to alot of work and expense to put on this party just to have all these no shows.

Created by: nccrystalcoastcpl
Original Starting post for this thread:

Why do so many people beg for house parties, beg to be invited and then don't show up or even call.
We just hosted our first house party, numerous couples contacted us wanting to come to the party, were all excited about coming, then never show. We had 7 couples confirmed about coming, then only 2 couples show up
Whats up with that? Is this normal? The 2 couples that did show had a great time, but we went to alot of work and expense to put on this party just to have all these no shows.

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User Details are only visible to members.	No shows are prevalent, so don't take it personal. Charging, even just "to cover costs" is dangerous, possible illegal and can get you more attention than it is worth. All it takes is 1 enemy, 1 disgruntled, person to turn you in, no offense intended to previous posters that do charge,.
Destin FL			Username hidden (14562 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I've been hosting large parties for years now and I can confirm most of what's been said here. I do charge admission because I put on an extravagant event and can't do it any other way. I clearly state that guests are buying a membership in a private club, which makes a large difference in legal terms. I demand that anybody attending their first party pay in advance via paypal. "Veterans" can pay at the door, for $20 more. However, anyone who is ever a no-show, or cancels without sufficient notice, will have to pay in advance from then on. This DRAMATICALLY reduces no-shows. It's my experience than more than 90% of people who have paid in advance will come. It's true even if the amount is small because they feel invested. At no-fee parties, you can expect 50-75% attendance from people you know and 20-50% from people you do not know. The yield goes up the more popular/attractive/in-demand the host(s) are. People who regularly host parties also get somewhat better yield because people don't want to be blacklisted.
Springfield VA			Username hidden (263 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Got to agree with PERMAGRN in re accepting money in connection with anything sexual. Had a Big stink a while back in our area when a very popular couple was busted for prostitution and actually convicted and sent to jail for accepting money. Bad Idea! As far as people RSVP'g then not showing and not calling...one might wish otherwise but lifestylers are no more immune to thoughtless behavior than the general population. There's nothing you can do about it except add a few couples that you didn't invite the first time and drop the couples who offended from your list. After a few parties the inconsiderate ones will self-select themselves right off the invite list and you'll have nothing left but considerate people. The thing about inviting twice the number that you expect is pretty much right on. Many invitees will have committments/obligations that will preclude their attending regardless of how much lead time you give them. JnD
Fairview Heights IL			Username hidden (652 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Asking for money to come to house parties is a good way to get you busted for prostitution in most states. Chances are you would never get caught but let one person be unhappy about something that goes on and you just might. Accepting money to enter your home and have sex with you and other guest is technically prostitution. Even though we lifestylers know that its not by the law it is. Never go out of you way and get alot of food. Keep them simple. Have the guest byob and a munchie to share. You end up with plenty. 1/3 of all confirmed show the rest don't. So if you want a party of 7 couples invite 50 get 25 yes's and 7 will show. I have learned over the last four year unless you have become awesome friends with a group of people that is just the way the parties break down. Also don't think all your guests would never turn you in for having a house party and charge admission. I have had my profile mailed to children and youth because I decided the way someone carried themselves and behaved wasn't for us. That rejection got us reported. Thankfully we are good parents and its not illegal to be swingers and parents. Just our experience.
Bridgeport PA			Username hidden (12781 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Thanks for all the replies! This was our first time throwing a house party....and boy did we get a shock! The funny thing, almost all the ones that were no shows, either called or sent emails the next morning asking how everything went! We went way overboard on the food and drinks! We're still eating chips and drinking 2 liter bottles of soda and bottled water! We did however meet one fantastic couple, and they have come to our home again....just the four of us.
Swansboro NC			Username hidden (14 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Re item #4 Don't sulk over the no-shows. Laugh at what they missed. Then happily consume all the leftovers
Albany GA			Username hidden (315 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I've noticed that in vanilla parties as well, you can count on only about 25% invitees showing up, which is about what you got. Of course that doesn't help with your expenses or prep time, since you will no doubt be concerned with the possibility of everyone showing and (rudely) bringing a friend. (I know I am). Sadly swingers are, as a group, almost as prone to the foibles of the human condition as the rest of the gen-pop: inconsiderate, forgetful, insecure, wishy-washy, overscheduled, etc.. It doesn't make it ok, but helps to know it's got nothing to do with you. Hopefully, most sent regrets, at least. If not, they won't be invited back, w/out a statement from the emergency room. As far as refreshments go, here are some ideas: 1. Only serve stuff that freezes well. 2. Pot-luck 3. Be sure you have stand-up friends who will be the last to leave and on whom you can foist leftover high-calorie munchies. 4. Sulk over the no-shows and in your funk, consume it all yourself while watching Mad TV 5. Just throw it out. Go ahead, do it. It's ok. 6. Remember that at least your house is still clean!
North Attleboro MA			Username hidden (1 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Sadly there are always no-shows. I have thrown parties and been invited and it is always amazing the number of people which will not show, not call or in the case of cover dish type parties they don't bring anything. I can only account for it as that a lot of people consider the relationships and social obligations associated with this lifestyle as disposable. Normally the people at fault for this are ones you don't know overly well. They have not attached any importances of polite behavior in their association with you simply because they don't know you well enough to "care". (if you do feel like you know them well and they treat you like this then you should reconsider how well you know them) The only advise is to not invite them again. If they ask just explain it in simple terms. And when they give lame excuses of BS. Then just tell them sorry and don't lose any sleep about it. These people will either learn or they will drop out of the lifestyle.
Sandston VA			Username hidden (195 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	There have been quite a few postings about house parties. You might check there for some advice. As to how many to invite, it depends upon your familiarity with the invitees. I couldn't tell from your posting if you knew the people invited or if it was an open party. We don't invite anyone to our house we haven't met or who isn't referred to us by people we know. My feeling is that people are less likely to stand up people they know. We've found that of the initial list of invited people, about 80 percent will indicate they are attending. Of that group, you can figure on about 85 percent showing up for the party. It's just the numbers of life that you're dealing with here. Your numbers look about right. If you want a party of 7 couples, plan on inviting about 12 couples. Of course, there's always the chance that everyone will attend :-) We've had that happen, too! In that case, break out the air mattresses and enjoy yourselves! Phil
Bowie MD			Username hidden (85 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Yes I have heard that this is an issue. We are going to one next Saturday, and at the last one it was very nice...of course, since that was the first one there was no donation. We shall see next week how and if it affects things. Anyways, I have no idea what you can do to alleviate this other than inviting large amounts of couples expecting half to show. Shelly
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23750 post)

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TOPIC: no shows for house parties

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