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jumping in or take it slow : Swingers Discussion 207779101
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TOPIC: jumping in or take it slow
Created by: MandK89
Original Starting post for this thread:
Hello- My wife and I have been involved in the lifestyle sporadically for about 18 months. We've had some great experiences and met some wonderful people. The only problem is that she is very nervous to meet new people, especially considering we're meeting folks online. We've talked about this quite a bit, and can't decide if just jumping in fully or taking it slow would best help her get over the nervousness. I must point out that after every meeting she immediately says she had a blast and wants to do it again. There is no jealousy, it's just the process of meeting new folks is difficult for her to handle. Any thoughts or ideas would be greatly appreciated.

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We'll keep talking and do what feels right to us both."

There you go, good idea!! And remember....you do NOT have to fuck in order to have fun. Never fall under the pressure and fear of being labelled a "fake swinger". If you do not feel right do not do it. There is nothing wrong with going to a party or club, dancing, talking...laughing and having a great time without fucking strange. Anyone that tells you differently, thats their damn problem not yours :0)

San Marcos TX
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Thanks everyone for your thoughts! It sounds like this is fairly common and not necessarily a sign that this lifestyle isn't for us. We'll keep talking and do what feels right to us both.

San Rafael CA
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Or even better. We have at least some pics on here public that give you an idea of what we look like in general. I love here and everywhere else when we get a profile with NO pics or only private pics and the first thing they ask is for US to unlock.

Mount Juliet TN
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No pics, no age, no location - we WILL NOT RESPOND. No matter how many times you say that. Most will leave out some or most of those things."

Heehee...my fave is when THEY email US saying no pics in no response we will not respond back, and then all of their fucking pics are private and blocked hahahahahahaha. Those are my favorites.

San Marcos TX
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Most of it while technically not spam I would call spam.

Im bordering a "metro" area so when I speak of the high number of responses Im not exaggerating. But CL is just like anywhere else, worse actually.

You post:

No pics, no age, no location - we WILL NOT RESPOND.

No matter how many times you say that. Most will leave out some or most of those things.

I think most people go fishing on there, at least the regulars. Just respond to every ad that comes up and hopes for one to stick.

Im certainly not saying we get a huge response because "we're so hot everyone wants us"....lol

Its just the area we're in. I think we could put an ad up that said "looking for a guy to clean up the yard after our great dane" and if it said MF4M we would get about the same response.

Mount Juliet TN
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@joey - A 100 replies on CL?!??! Is that counting the spam??? LOL

Lahaina HI
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We are similar to what you are saying and it does make it tough sometimes.

I (he) am spontaneous, random, and really just want to get down to business and if I had my way it would be an every weekend thing. I like to talk to a lot of people at one time since i know 9 out of 10 will flake

If I had my way, we would be sitting home on a friday night at 8 and I wouldnt think twice about coming online or CL or something and having someone over within the hour. Pic exchange, if we all like, a little discussion to see if were sexually compatible and off to the races.

My wife on the other hand has hot and cold interest. Prefers to chat with one person at a time. We will put an ad on craigslist, get 100 replies, then not do anything with them for weeks, and then 2 weeks later send one a response, and so on.

So its very difficult for me because I have just enough to know its possible but I have to wait until the couple of times a year she puts a little effort into it.

yet everytime we do it she loves it.

Mount Juliet TN
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D was exactly the same way loooong ago when we first started. She'd have a Wonderful time, then start beating herself up for 'having too much fun'. That'd last 'til the next time, at which she'd have another Wonderful time, then start all over again. With time, she'd spend less and less time beating herself up and longer and longer anticipating, 'til she finally just started anticipating. I'd say that your wife will get comfortable enough with experience, and that you two should expand on that experience at a pace that you Both can live with. Good luck, and Have Fun! :-)


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@MandK - I am very much like your wife. I am very shy and actually hate meeting new people, but....if I wanna play, I have to meet people, right? Hubby is MUCH better with meeting and talking with new people.

What has helped both me and hubby when meeting folks is to start to build a bit of chemistry by texting with them first, before we actually meet in person. Hubby usually texts with the woman and I text the man. Both couples are texting with the full knowledge and encouragement of each other's spouses. But it's fun!! Sometimes the texting can get pretty racy. :) But it builds chemistry and by the time you actually meet, you feel like you already know the other person a little and you have some stuff to talk and joke about.

Don't know if something like that would work for you guys or not. And by the way...we use Google Voice numbers for texting, so we never give out our *actual* cell phone numbers. (Then if you end up meeting a weirdo, just change your Google Voice number.)

Lahaina HI
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We have all been through the nervousness of meeting new people, that does dissipate somewhat with time but the "butterflies" is one of the things that keeps me coming back. I do enjoy repeat visits with some couples and singles that I have built a rapport with but variety is one of the things that attracts me to this LS so meeting new people is like have another first date.

And my forum friends would be disappointing if I didn't offer to have you both come to Ohio for a week or so. You know, so I can show you the ropes so to speak.

;^D

Poland OH
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TOPIC: jumping in or take it slow