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how do i get my wife interested : Swingers Discussion 224078
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TOPIC: how do i get my wife interested
Created by: rbender9
Original Starting post for this thread:
i been in the lifestyle for about 5 years before i met my wife. heres where i made my mistake, i never flat out told her i was a swinger but she found out eventually. we had a brief talk about it but nothing really came of it. it was mostly me telling her i wasnt cheating on her and i hadnt. when we finally started dating and moving in together taking some time off from swinging. but i wanna get back into it with my wife. i met some of the best ppl and had some of the best times through swinging. how do i bring up the topic again but without the negative outcome? we have done topless beaches and she loved it especially since we currently reside in italy where nudity and sexuality are embraced. i dont want to force her but i would like to hear of some ways to introduce it to her in a more positive way other than sex with strangers. thanks for reading. - R

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Check out Playboy TV Swing on you tube. Really fun to watch as a couple and it might spark her interest in the lifestyle.

Melbourne Victoria Australia
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(24 posts)
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yes it is true my wife does not know i kept profile but in my defense it was a hard time during our marriage when we did not think it was gonna last. i had just recently deployed and the clinic on post stopped carrying her prescription so the army saw it fit to send her back to the states during my tour here in italy. so that meant we were pretty much forced to remain separated even after i returned from downrange. also getting shot at and blown up after learning you wont have anyone to come back to kinda makes you wanna find value even if its cheap thrills FLIRTING with other women. even tho it was hard we agreed that if we could not get her back to italy with me we were gonna just go ahead and divorce because 4 years away from each other is almost impossible to stay together now thats just being realistic. i do not think what i did was morally right but i never cheated on her. but the reason why i changed my profile to married is because i found a way to get here back here and since she was already on my orders she was on the first flight back to me. she and i have a new found appreciation for each other but i would also like to give her a peak into this awesome lifestyle.. there are several swingers clubs in the area but i am gonna start her off with some strip clubs and nude beaches first. she isn't opposed to those ideas so if i can warm here up there and she gets into it then i would like to open the swing topic again. how did you women first get introduced? i am not trying to lash out at anyone on here i just looking for advice.

Longare Veneto Italy
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"how do i get my wife interested"

Send her to NOLA and I'll ramp her up for you.

You're welcome.

Belle Chasse LA
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“Since we currently reside in Italy where nudity and sexuality are embraced” When I last checked the Vatican still held some sway in Italy, and while nudity and sexuality may be embraced, swinging is probably not. I would think the lifestyle would be something you might want to discuss with a prospective bride prior to marriage if it was important to you. I've met my share of Italian women and the last thing I'd want to do is piss one off. Make sure your car and household goods are well insured.

Virginia Beach VA
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I suggest you mention going to a fun Lifestyle club or party. Tell her it is a swingers club , that she can wear sexy fun clothes and she can dance and watch the going ons. Assure her you expect nothing , again NOTHING . She does not have to participate, in fact I suggest it would be a terrible idea to anything more than enjoy the crowd and visual. You are to pay attention to ONLY her while at the club, do not allow yourself to be distracted by the going ons. Flirt with her, be romantic, snuggle close and assure her how lovely she looks. Make it seem like an adventure for just the 2 of you , let her experience the atmosphere and watch closely for her reactions. If she dances with someone else tell her how erotic you thought that was, encourage her to do whatever she is comfortable with but again YOU must make this all about her exploration. Now is not the time to be hitting on chicks, drooling at the pretty girls etc. Answer any questions she has and agree before hand that if she is uncomfortable you will leave immediately . What girl doesn't like to dress sexy, dance and be the center of your whole world for a night. Whatever you do do not trick her into going, do not pressure her to do anything, in fact do not even suggest she do anything. Just allow the environment to stir her naturally, if she freaks out, is repulsed or feels threatened , assure her that it is ok and you take her home and make wild love to her. Later talk about what she saw, what she liked and what she didn't like. Ask her point blank "Do you have any interest?" If the answer is no do not pressure her, she may come around to the topic again as it sinks it but your job is to remain indifferent to what she decides. The more she feels like she has to do this to pleasure you the more likely this will bite you in the ass.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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Bender you were just on here a few months ago as a SM, so in other words you haven't told your wife you kept your profile, and even flirted in the fora as recently as in the past 6 months?

Louisville KY
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Have you two watched porn ? ( Does she show interest in that at all and does it include other people maybe to be able to bring in the topic while fooling around ? ) Has she shown ANY interest in women ? Have you taken her to any strip clubs ? Stuff like that seems an avenue to wanting / leading to more "IF" she's going to want to and if not then you have to be ok with that too.....

Concord CA
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i been in the lifestyle for about 5 years before i met my wife. heres where i made my mistake, i never flat out told her i was a swinger but she found out eventually. we had a brief talk about it but nothing really came of it. it was mostly me telling her i wasnt cheating on her and i hadnt. when we finally started dating and moving in together taking some time off from swinging. but i wanna get back into it with my wife. i met some of the best ppl and had some of the best times through swinging. how do i bring up the topic again but without the negative outcome? we have done topless beaches and she loved it especially since we currently reside in italy where nudity and sexuality are embraced. i dont want to force her but i would like to hear of some ways to introduce it to her in a more positive way other than sex with strangers. thanks for reading. - R

Longare Veneto Italy
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(32 posts)
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TOPIC: how do i get my wife interested