helpful advice needed: Swingers Discussion 167890

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TOPIC: helpful advice needed

Created by: two2tango469 Original Starting post for this thread:
We have been in the lifestyle for a few years an have met a few wonderful folks, had fun keep in touch, get together every once in a while, but lately we met a couple about 5 months ago,they wont leave us alone, they call every day, they want to get together every weekend,they meet us for lunch at least 3 days a week, they just drop over when in the neighborhood,we have lost all sexual interest in them,we give them excuses one after the other that were busy, but they still call an want to get together, dont get us wrong they are very nice folks, but we are in the lifestyle to have fun an experence different things with other folks, but they just seem to want us all to them selves all the time,we dont mind friends but this is a bit much we asked them to meet with other couples along with us, they say no,were happy with the way it is, we dont have any time to meet with other folks anymore there always around, we dont want to be mean,thats why we are asking if any one else has ever had this problem an how they handled it,ike we say we dont have anything against meeting folks an becoming friends,but were in this for sex with couples not just be tied down to one,and there both very vanilla when it comes to sex, dont want to try anything knew not interested in other couples dont want to meet anyone else.We have asked them to go to parties, meet&greets,other small gatherings but they say no were really not interested were happy with just you guys,what can we do without being mean an rude to them,anyone have any ideas

Created by: two2tango469
Original Starting post for this thread:

We have been in the lifestyle for a few years an have met a few wonderful folks, had fun keep in touch, get together every once in a while, but lately we met a couple about 5 months ago,they wont leave us alone, they call every day, they want to get together every weekend,they meet us for lunch at least 3 days a week, they just drop over when in the neighborhood,we have lost all sexual interest in them,we give them excuses one after the other that were busy, but they still call an want to get together, dont get us wrong they are very nice folks, but we are in the lifestyle to have fun an experence different things with other folks, but they just seem to want us all to them selves all the time,we dont mind friends but this is a bit much we asked them to meet with other couples along with us, they say no,were happy with the way it is, we dont have any time to meet with other folks anymore there always around, we dont want to be mean,thats why we are asking if any one else has ever had this problem an how they handled it,ike we say we dont have anything against meeting folks an becoming friends,but were in this for sex with couples not just be tied down to one,and there both very vanilla when it comes to sex, dont want to try anything knew not interested in other couples dont want to meet anyone else.We have asked them to go to parties, meet&greets,other small gatherings but they say no were really not interested were happy with just you guys,what can we do without being mean an rude to them,anyone have any ideas

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User Details are only visible to members.	Many people think that I am a hard person. The fact is, if you don't tell people how you feel they will walk all over you. Even if they don't know they are. I would say: it was nice going out with you, the next We want to get together we will call you.
San Antonio TX			Username hidden (38 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	They're babies. Just sit them down and have a friendly little conversation w/ them. There is no "Swingering 101" class. They probably really have no idea that they're being inappropriate and making y'all uncomfortable. They may just think that what they are doing is the way it works. I stand by the idea that their feelings may be hurt ~ but in the long run, they'll probably be VERY glad that you were kind enough to fill them in. Good luck w/ them!!!
New Orleans LA			Username hidden (497 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Oh my yes this happens especially with newbees! I feel for you, its almost like being a prisoner! Whoever has the best communication skills on your half, should get together with one partner on their half and sit and spell it out for them. It wont be as embarrassing if it is one on one. Trust me I know, I had a recent blow up and both the wife and I talked and we were mature enough to work it out, and we realized that it is best we dont play for awhile. Sometimes people just need it spelled out they dont read the signs on the road. Say to them, Hey look we like you two but are feeling like it is more of a freindship then a swing thing. How can you get mad a people for wanting friendship. If they do get mad, then oh well thats on them!
Pittsgrove NJ			Username hidden (490 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	ohmysugar u hit the nail right on the head,we were there first swap partners, an now they think we are there best friends,an so true we have to sit them down an tell them,that what there looking for isnt the same as what we are in the lifestyle for.and Lost no we never knew them we answered an ad on aff an met them through there, never answer another aff ad LOL.Like we say there really nice folks,there happy with friends with benifits, but its just to much anymore, but everyone thanks for ur time to help us with this sitution.
Eagle Pass TX			Username hidden (24 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	In your shoes, when they tell you that "we're happy with just you", I'd respond with "but we're not happy limiting ourselves to just You!". This looks like a classic case of newbies seizing on someone 'comfortable' and smothering everyone. We've seen that happen and it doesn't end happily. Tell them Gently and Honestly, but Tell them...and soon. Delaying and avoiding hurting feelings isn't doing anyone any favors. JnD
Fairview Heights IL			Username hidden (635 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	wow that is ballsy. I would never just drop in on someone without them knowing let alone swing friends :0
Louisville KY			Username hidden (14014 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Sheesh! I'd bet that they are like that in general. Or that y'all are the first couple that they have met and liked. If it's the former, I think that you're just going to have to tell them that while their other friends and family may be perfectly fine with unannounced visits and dailiy contact, that it doesn't fit into your lives and it makes you uncomfortable. If it's the latter, you could try to explain to them that the kind of behavior they are exhibiting is really not what most people in the life are looking for. Maybe they're looking for something exclusive and don't realize that's not what most couples want. Either way, they'll probably get their feelings hurt. But maybe they'll thank you down the line.
New Orleans LA			Username hidden (497 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	lol I have no clue! Not only that, when they were telling us this story...really, they did not know us. You are sitting here telling me something and I could very well be a police officer or some shit...and you are just jib jabbering away LMAO. It is nice to be with people that make you feel comfortable (and by the time we got there they had had a few already)...but DAMN lol.
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23665 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	wow, thats unbelievable! Let me ask, at one time were y'all like besties with this couple? I mean, I love me some Gina. But I would not feel it my place to just pop in on a Sat. afternoon going HEY, what are you up to LOL. That blows me away that they would feel that comfortable. They must have thought at some point y'all were really good besties, no? It just baffles me...but like I said before, some people are like wow. We were at a bar with a couple and they started telling us shit about their family that was nothing short of WTF hahahahaha. Jay and I looked at each other and were like ummmm okay heehee.
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23665 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	yes thats what we call them our stalkers,we thought it was funny in the beginning,but now we kinda believe it,I tell ya on a weekend if we tell them were busy,we are on guard all day watching to see if they just decide to pop in. if we tell them were doing something around the house they will stop by to see what were doing an if we need there help,Saturday they wanted us to meet them for dinner an we told them that hubby was with son doing things an couldnt make it, well they got pissed,so I guess there isnt going to be a good way to fix this.
Eagle Pass TX			Username hidden (24 post)

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TOPIC: helpful advice needed

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