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TOPIC: help_with_attraction_issue
Created by: willingbeginner The original post for this thread was deleted.
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The phrase "No means No" is powerful because it so simply expresses this point. You don't have to provide any excuse for not playing with anyone else. Experienced swingers understand this and are not offended by a "No". Inexperienced swingers often do not understand this, as evidenced by all the posts in this Forum dealing with rejection.

Memphis TN
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Ask yourself this, if in the middle of it after you've sobered up a bit will you feel disgusted? It happens but at least you'd be doing for yourself and not "for the team." This couple must not be so ugly that you replied or contacted them first. I'd do it unless I was repulsed but again after you meet you might feel different as personalities do change the way a person looks on the outside.

Wheatland CA
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Virgin poster alert! LOL

Welcome to Forum.

There are 2 rules newbies should learn immediately.

1) No means no.

2) NEVER do anything you don't want to do.

There are wonderful, delightful people whom we just don't find physically attractive. We aren't EVER going to play with them for that reason, but we are happy to have them as friends.

There are hunks & beauty queens who are jerks & bitches, too stupid to live, or otherwise suffer from mental/personality flaws that make it impossible for us to consider playing with them.

There are gazillions of couples out there in which one of us is attracted and the other isn't. We aren't going there either, and neither should you.

Oh, yeah, you need to learn Rule #3, too: NEVER "take one for the team." If you aren't attracted, don't go there, no matter how attracted your partner is to the other person's partner.

And then there are those couples in between. They aren't the prettiest or hunkiest people. They may not even have enough in common with us to be close friends. But we LIKE them, get along great with them, and enjoy them in bed.

Be choosey. There are a LOT of fish in the sea. Don't settle, but remember you aren't looking to MARRY anyone; you just want to enjoy them for a while and then turn them back over to their own spouses for their perpetual care and feeding. :-)

If you aren't attracted to someone, simply tell them "I'm sorry, but we don't feel that we are compatible." That's all you should say. Saying too much only hurts feelings.

Good luck, and have FUN!

Culpeper VA
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TOPIC: help with attraction issue
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