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height and weight proportionate *and other phrases that confuse me* : Swingers Discussion 352061011
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TOPIC: height and weight proportionate *and other phrases that confuse me*
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Thank god I'm not the only one! lol Josh still loves to tell that story when we meet people, it's nice to know I'm not the last naive swinger out there! lol

Denham Springs LA
 
 
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LOL Red i hate to admit it but i did the same thing..........lmao My hubby just laughed and said you dont know what that is and i said NO so he told me. OMG i thought i would fall out of the bed from laughing so hard. I thought i am so stupid..............lol Mrs. fantasy

Aurora MO
 
 
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I'm not sure that this is totally relevant, but on the topic of confusing swinger phrases-when we first started swinging I had no idea what the lingo meant. After coming across so many profiles that said "no water sports" I finally asked Josh the question that had been bugging me-"Why are so many people against sex in a hot-tub??". After he finished laughing histarically, his next response was to ask me if I'd replied to any of these profiles. Thank god I hadn't, that could've been messy! (so to speak....) lol

Denham Springs LA
 
 
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It all comes down to personal preferences, of course there has to be attraction. But personality takes precidence over and above all else in our book. We may not be the perfect bodies but we are happy together and are a hell of a lot of fun!

Disportionate R & K

Muncy PA
 
 
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Patogether, you make a great point about people's indicated upper limit on age. We are 58 and 56 and look, act, feel 10 years younger. We see tons of couples in their 40s who look a lot older than we do. Still, if somebody says their upper limit is 55, we won't contact them, although a surprising number who say their upper limit is 50 or 55 contact us anyway. I always ask if they are sure they want to meet, since we are above their upper age limit.

We also laugh at the older folks who think 18-year-olds or even 20-somethings would be interested. I imagine there ARE some that young who want to be with an older couple, although I wasn't exactly thrilled by the 30-something couple who said they were interested in us because "we want to see how old people fuck!" However, I'm sure that most people who put "18 to 99" as their desired age range don't really mean that. They are just recognizing that a lot more than age is involved and being open minded.

We KNOW that our ages will deter most couples under 50 from contacting us, and that's OK since we do like to have enough in common to be friends, not just sex partners. Still, we notice that at a meet & greet nobody asks our ages. Lots of 40-something couples show interest, and even some of the 30-somethings. There seems to be a message here - it's best to get out and meet people and let them decide if they like YOU and if you are attractive before they know your age!

Jim

South Riding VA
 
 
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Eternalbliss: Bill, I think you are taking this a little too personal. Your apology is nice but I don't think it was needed, you voiced your feelings and thoughts and brought forth a topic that others have discussed. One couple said that this is a problem for the site (peoples preferences as to what they are attracted to). This is only a problem because people make it into a problem. You have your preferences and they have theirs, why people feel that others should share their ideals and desires is beyond me. If you like a bigger person, more power to you, knock yourself out but why condemn others for not wanting what you want, or expressing what they want! As Crystal stated in her earlier post here, we are far from perfect but we know what we like and we express that in our profile. Height weight proportinate to use means be built proprtionately, carry your weight well. We are not looking at a doctors chart to make sure you are proportionate, we look at the photos you post and base our initial attraction to those. The majority of people base whether or not they want to meet some one on the photos and how they describe themselves in the profile. Your personality does not completely show through written text. So you are not agreeing to meet because of personality. People just need to relax and allow others their desires and not try to force theirs thoughts and beliefs on them. There is a reason the world is the way it is; size, shape, color, height, weight, intelligence all play a factor to our differences. If all were the same would the world be a perfect place? Not in my humble opinion. Irlis

Allentown PA
 
 
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hi everyone,

i wish to apologize,this is bill,i wrote without talking to my wife first,i was just venting about some past things i've seen that i felt were wrong... let me take this time to say i'm sorry,i was completely wrong and everyone else is right about this,everyone does have the right to write anything they choose in profile,regardless of anything else,and i was being way too touchy..no one out here in the whole site is rude,everyone is friendly and kind and i was just completely wrong to vent my frustrations publicly...as i shouldn't have even written without talking first about what i was going to write,this is going to be my last post ever.....my wife may occasionally write as she is very intelligent and does have a lot to say about a variety of topics.. but as for me,no more from me,again i do wish to apologize as i was wrong and apparently there are no other people out here who ever were upset by things they've read,it is simply because i am new to this and didn't understand...i am very sorry and wish i wouldn't have written the original post,as it was wrong and ignorant of me...the people i've met and talked to have been very nice and i appreciate the advice and kindness they've shown...have a great day everyone..and God bless you...

specifically bill's posting

Grantville PA
 
 
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Hi This is the second time I tried posting this, the first time I timed out and lost my long, way toooo long reply. My husband came out here and vented a little bit about something that was bothering him. I am not going to make this as long as the first time I tried it. But I will give you the point I was trying to make. Everyone including us have certain things they look for in playmates. We are not for everyone, and some people are not for us. There has to be some level of attraction for you to want someone. However, we are not going to be cruel and describe what we DON'T want, but rather what we do want. Nobody, no matter who you are wants to be insulted. It is the same thing as being racist. We simply don't reply if not interested, it is just a lot nicer. The message my husband wanted to get out but might not have worded correctly was treat others the way you want to be treated. You can have your preferences without being rude to others. As we have ours also. For all the people who feel the same way we feel, don't let other people spoil your fun. Just ignore their rude statements and enjoy yourself, that is what it is all about...the lesson I am trying to teach my other half. Nobody stays perfect on the outside forever, just try and be beautiful inside and treat others with kindness.

i wanted to also thank all the awesome people out there for their advice and help in other postings

tina *eternalbliss*

Grantville PA
 
 
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Eternalbliss- No one on here is slamming you. They are merely giving you their opinions on the topic you put forth. We are one of the couples who have the words height-weight proportinate on our profile. It is what we are looking for. That's why it is there. We don't only meet people built exactly like us but we do try to stay within certain limits. We are comfortable with how our bodies mesh and tend to look for similar builds in our play partners. I am an average sized woman(130-ish lbs.and 5'5") so I don't feel comfortable playing with men over 260 lbs. They are too big for me. My husband is a bigger guy. He's 6'4 and 235 lbs. He does not want to play with a woman his size. That's our choice. We aren't saying we wouldn't socialize with people that we wouldn't play with. We have the right to be picky with who we play with. The bottom line is that's why this site exists. We think that lying to a couple we are not interested in playing with(saying we are too far away, too busy, etc.) is a lot more rude and disrespectful than just being up front and honest in your profile. That's why there is a question asking "what are you looking for?" in the essay part of the profile. If you don't like what people put in their profile, keep looking. There are lots of profiles because not everyone will be a match for each other. One other bit of advice- Being negative is not a turn on for a lot of people. If you are constantly complaining about lack of meetings, quality of play time, etc. many couples will not be interested. A lot of couples use these boards as a personality gauge to see how others react to things and what their views are. You guys just might want to take a break for awhile and come back when you can both feel good about the lifestyle again. Not bashing you at all. Just trying to give some helpful advice. Good luck. Also, we do think your new profile and pics should help you out some. Hope no matter what you guys decide that it works out for you both.

Allentown PA
 
 
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we understand totally what you are saying.We have been part of the problem and also been on ther other side of a solution. Welcome to the most closed minded people of all alternative lifestyles.This is what makes it great, its called preferences.We get to file a profile, each persons wants, needs and desires with not one profile exactly like any other.Yes they may be similar but yet none are the same. Its a shame that blanket statements are made to justify what each person wants needs and desires Such as we are not compatable sexually . yes all are compatable sexually . We all do it the same way.Its our mental desires which are also our visual desires which means what .who we are attracted to. Suzy and I are larger people she 5'10 and in heels over 6 foot 180 I am almost 6 foot tall and 190. There is no way we will go up to a couple where she is close to 5 foot and 100 pounds and he is close to 160 pounds. Take a look at how they are built , thats what they would be attracted to.We loook for couples where the females are taller the males are taller, a better fit for us.I married my wife, guess what she is what I like in a female.Almost every female to date in 7 years of swinging have had the qualities that my wife has both, physically and mentally.Ths same is true of the males she has been attracted to .They are not short and thin,some have been talller.Are shorter smaller ladies attractive yes are they attractive to me physically , are they a female I may want NO.Normally they do not have the breasts that I like nor the eyes. On the same token, a shorter female carrying the same weight that my wife has or more is not what i see as attractive for me.ie 5 foot 180. Sorry but thats the way it is for all. However if we see a guy built like myself and a smaller woman , that says to us its ok. Or the opposite taller female with a shorter man,taller,thinner man and a woman built like Suzy that also says thats its ok to write. Do some people tend to stray from what they both look like, of couse they can.There is never an always the only always will be it is never. Its not that people are being rude, we have to remember to stay with what will make you happy and what you are mentally and visually attracted to.So many see a very hot body and say wow lets write them . I willl not say to have a chance,that cracks me up.Chance has nothing to do with it its the closed mind that does. In closing,these are general statements ,anyone that has half a brain can find an exception to what i have said in here, but most of it is true to form. Chances are greater that if they had said lets meet you would have been more disappointed in them as people for coming with nothing that was user friendly for you both.

Sarasota FL
 
 
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TOPIC: height and weight proportionate *and other phrases that confuse me*