Busy Swingers Forum - everything you always wanted to know about swingers.
SwingLifeStyle Swingers Personal Ads. | SwingLifeStyle Swingers Clubs

Busy Swingers Forum

Everything you always wanted to know about swingers.

Create A Free Account

HELP
FORUMS General Discussions Swinger Advice did this ever happen to you guys and how do you handle it
TOPIC: did this ever happen to you guys and how do you handle it
Created by: rock_the_island
Original Starting post for this thread:
Have you guys ever played with a cple who became unwantedly clingy ? we have and even before this we always tell people if a friendship happens thats is fine but being "social buddies" is not our primary goal here.

if we wanted to go out for a prolonged night of dancing or a ball game etc etc we have plenty of vanilla friends for that....we understand putting out a feeler but we do not like repeated attempts after we have told people up front.

even if we enjoyed playing with a cple and even if we might want to play with them again it does not mean we are ready to "marry" them....Last but not least we feel once you have ALMOST had "words" with a cple you can never truely be comfortable with them again.

GoTo Page: 1 ... More 
 1 to 5 of 5 
User Details are only visible to members.
I usually back off when they start inviting me on family trips to Disney, or asking which wallpaper I prefer in the room they are re-decorating for me. Ha.

Everyone is different, and even the same couple is different at various stages of their life. Their kids' ages, their work schedules, and a thousand other things affect how closely, and how often, a couple wants to get together with play partners. Most folks can find a happy medium with which everyone is comfortable. Just do what feels comfortable for you, and rely on your social skills to gauge how the other couple feels about things.

Belle Chasse LA
Username hidden
(10938 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Not to hijack the thread but maybe take it on a slight tangent, I struggle as a single with how much contact is too much. Of course, it's not the same for every couple so I am not asking for a definitive answer, just some input.

For example, one couple I see only plays with me and the husband probably texts me weekly so I feel comfortable emailing and texting them frequently. Another I saw once and we have talked about getting together again but haven't worked it out yet so I email them maybe once a week. Is that too much? They do respond so I don't feel I am getting blown off. Yet another couple I hear from every few months and know they are really busy so I rarely initiate with them.

I know the only answer is communication but I am curious if couples feel more threatened by clingy guys or couples.

And see, I got through that whole post without mentioning wanting to cling to Mrs. Rock's backside...

Youngstown OH
Username hidden
(12139 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
You say clingy like it us a bad thing :)~

Augusta NJ
Username hidden
(16055 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
We're still wrestling with this ourselves. Wanting to keep couple friends, meet at parties, have a great dialogue, email about events, get together for drinks, but also not be expected to hook up everytime and maintain our own limits. We're finding we have to be more communicative than is our nature. We've done really good recently of keeping some couple friends by being direct about what we hope to have from the relationship - yes we want to hook up more - yes we want to be friendly and meet out - no we don't want phone calls - no we don't want to be expected to hook up every time we cross paths - no we don't want to be glued to each other. The little we've tried it we've found direct has worked, so far we haven't upset anyone or hurt feelings, there hasn't been any misunderstandings, and we've kept couple friends that we want to continue to see. I think the failings in the past have mostly been our fault for not saying what we want, not their fault for asking for more and us not communicating back which allowed things to get weird. Not sure we're much help, as again, we're still trying, but we THINK the answer is to just be direct about how much you like them and what you'd like out of the friendship and where you have boundries. I think most people in the LS are kind, fun, and friendly and will respect boundries if they're clearly expressed. Look forward to reading this thread.

Oklahoma City OK
Username hidden
(241 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Have you guys ever played with a cple who became unwantedly clingy ? we have and even before this we always tell people if a friendship happens thats is fine but being "social buddies" is not our primary goal here.

if we wanted to go out for a prolonged night of dancing or a ball game etc etc we have plenty of vanilla friends for that....we understand putting out a feeler but we do not like repeated attempts after we have told people up front.

even if we enjoyed playing with a cple and even if we might want to play with them again it does not mean we are ready to "marry" them....Last but not least we feel once you have ALMOST had "words" with a cple you can never truely be comfortable with them again.

New Hyde Park NY
Username hidden
(31 posts)
GoTo Page: 1 ... More 
 1 to 5 of 5 
TOPIC: did this ever happen to you guys and how do you handle it