Wrong reasons VS right reasons: Swingers Discussion 1932541041

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Wrong reasons VS right reasons: Swingers Discussion 1932541041

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TOPIC: Wrong reasons VS right reasons

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User Details are only visible to members.	Perhaps sed's health scenario is an MFM type set-up? Then it works perfectly and none of us are left with the "problem!"
Cincinnati OH			Username hidden (3295 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	"What if the husband due to a health reason lost his ability to have sex but the wife needs to get laid? " Sed, The only problem I see with this scenario is that unless the husband/wife is completely out of the picture (wife/husband swinging alone) he/she is bringing his/her health issues into the mix of another couple. As mentioned by many , that seems to happen a lot around here. Upfront honesty is required in this situation . I am not sympathetic enough to hold (in this case) hubbies hand while his wife bangs my partner. Nor do I want to give it my all only to realize "it's " broken and I'm wasting my time . If on the other hand due to medical reason one of the couple is unable to preform and they have agreed that their spouse enjoy their sex life elsewhere I have no issue . Mrs Sav
Weaver AL			Username hidden (4001 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	"After my last topic you either love me or hate me" You are a brave man for posting another similar thread! You must enjoy the verbal ride a little bit... The only right reason I can fathom is that both partners are mutually interested and can reason through the potential pitfalls together before, during and after. Your other thread taught us that there are as many different nuances to a specific act as there are people engaging in that act. We all came to this for different right reasons that work for our partnerships. The best I can hope for is to find others who respect, appreciate and complement my reasons for seeking out others. So far, so good... An aside (because this isn't long enough, yet!): I will proclaim loudly and often that couples who are able to swing successfully have stronger partnerships with better sex with each other and better communication outside the bedroom than other couples.
Cincinnati OH			Username hidden (3295 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	boy it sure is hard to keep post short.. lol! Cananda... i'm pretty sure you started a thread a while ago about how your husband 'blames you' when you don't find playmates, but I don't think you ever went back to it to reply to any one... and we ended up talking to ourselves...(could be wrong) i think this 'blaming you' thing is terrible and a real big problem that i can't imagine not having a bad outcome. and 'i think' (since you've brought it up again) you should maybe talk about it and 'find out' why you're doing this with him, or maybe 'for' him... if you haven't done so already. i don't think i'm wrong about this... but can only imagine the damage this can do to a marriage when BOTH people are not patient, understanding and respectful of each others needs and/or pace... i'm FULLY AWARE this is a swingers site and not professional counseling, but i have gained alot of insight from the experiences of many, and i am also the more hesitant partner, yet feel ---completely--- respected! ...so if you can't figure this out with yourself or talk with him enough to get this resolved, why not start here first... their are some very caring experienced people that can share some wisdom's that you mite find helpful... ...speak up woman! :)
Kunkletown PA			Username hidden (2981 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Good reasons to swing; -Enhance or build on what you already have. -Growing your confidence and social/sexual skills. -Add variety to life. Poor reasons to swing; -physical/mental coercion -make up for something missing -fear of losing a spouse/SO to someone else Swinging can be stressful enough to relationships while they adjust and re-crystallize. Swinging for a positive reason can be a long-term benefit to relationships, strengthening and deepening them unbelievably. Swinging for a negative reason stresses the relationship even further without any positive result to build on and can easily become the straw that broke the camels back. The whole thing is that it adds stress, but can also be a motivator to work on the things that need working on. If one uses the stress to motivate changes in a positive and supportive direction, then the long-term effect is beneficial.
Fairview Heights IL			Username hidden (625 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Ya I hear ya Sav. and Mls...ya i have considered it, and who knows maybe I will some day. I run my own business (2 of them) so switching careers now is kind of a step back. At least i do something I enjoy, I just always thought sex therapy would be a really rewarding career, making sex better for people!
Grand Blanc MI			Username hidden (143 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Flirt I don't think you have to be 100% committed to swinging I think you have to committed a 100% to trying it....big difference. All personal feeling s aside if one partner isn't 100% into the participation of swinging whether it is right or wrong for them or not still leaves it questionable do they have the right to bring another unaware couple into that hot mess? Many of us who have a few years behind us can attest t the fact how awful it is to suddenly find themselves in that type of mix. Do you want to have sex with a person who doesn't really want to be there and is only doing it for their partner? Some people think they can "hide" or mask their feelings but in a sexual environment it can't help but become evident to the person with whom they've "agreed" to play with. Drama can happen at he best of times in the best relationships but imagine the drama if is visited on YOU by some wife or husband who goes crazy and gets jealous because SHE/HE didn't want to be there in the first place. No one may be holding a gun to their heads but let me assure you it happens far more often than you might think. We've seen and met many where within minutes it was obvious to both of us that one of them wasn't really into swinging and just going along........................we smile, say thanks and split immediately. Mrs Sav
Weaver AL			Username hidden (4001 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Never too late Flirt! I only took one class in actual sex therapy in grad school and it was defiantly one of my favorite classes, go figure :)
Rochester NY			Username hidden (17 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I always wished I would have followed my dream and went into sex therapy. My high school counselor laughed at me. :( I had girls calling me asking me how to masterbate (yes I am 100% serious). And yes girl(S).
Grand Blanc MI			Username hidden (143 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I myself am very new to this so my thoughts on this matter are still in the developmental stage. Overall, the beauty of the LS seems to be there are no right or wrong answers to anything as long as there is honest communication and everyone is on the same page. I have already noticed however that there seems to be a lot couples who are not always on the same page or even reading the same book. The most common example of this are male halves that seem more interested in finding new woman to chat and pic share with than to make it a true "couple" activity. Great question, I am in the mental health field and am finding it all fascinating. I was joking last night that I think I may have finally identified a topic for my Phd dissertation! Can't think of a more fun way to "research" :)
Rochester NY			Username hidden (17 post)

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TOPIC: Wrong reasons VS right reasons