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Wrong reasons VS right reasons : Swingers Discussion 1932541031
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FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsSwinger AdviceWrong reasons VS right reasons
TOPIC: Wrong reasons VS right reasons
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SED,

We have never read a profile nor received an email from a couple who state upfront hubby has an issue but sadly we've had the misfortune of meeting several of them. I am sure they are out there, frankly I don't read too many profiles of people not in our immediate area. I would commend their honesty and would pass them by for the simple reason we don't play separate and aren't into strictly girl /girl and I am NOT ok if she plays with Mr Sav while he just watches. We don't play with strictly soft swap couples either.Although sometimes it goes that way but we won't knowing meet a couple who are ONLY Soft Swap for a private get together. For many that might be perfectly ok and I have no issue at all.....if everyone is happy I am happy for them. If you're playing with singles no big deal, if you warn others and everyone is agreeable no big deal. If on the other hand you use a swinging so you can get "yours" and don't give a rats ass about the person getting the "short end of the stick" with a partner that is dysfunctional you have no business swinging as a "couple" . That is wrong and selfish no matter how you shake it. Everyone can have a problem now and then of course but many of these "couples" never address the issue and expect that "we" won't mind or notice.

Again just my opinion ,

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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Flirt

copy and paste is effective but time consuming lol BTW some do that better than others and one must be careful to copy only the text and not the age, location,user name etc or be seen as an amateur ;)

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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jands

I enjoy discussing things and learning things. I enjoy talking. There are a lot of threads on here that only get a couple responses and are boring to read so I figured I would delve deeper into the mental part of the lifestyle instead of just the physical part.

No if only this site would upgrade to a forum software developed sometime after 1998 so you can quote previous posts it would be SO much more interesting, lol.

Grand Blanc MI
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JandD...I agree completely, so long as it is not affecting those you play with ...party on lol.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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Perhaps sed's health scenario is an MFM type set-up? Then it works perfectly and none of us are left with the "problem!"

Cincinnati OH
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"What if the husband due to a health reason lost his ability to have sex but the wife needs to get laid? "

Sed,

The only problem I see with this scenario is that unless the husband/wife is completely out of the picture (wife/husband swinging alone) he/she is bringing his/her health issues into the mix of another couple. As mentioned by many , that seems to happen a lot around here. Upfront honesty is required in this situation . I am not sympathetic enough to hold (in this case) hubbies hand while his wife bangs my partner. Nor do I want to give it my all only to realize "it's " broken and I'm wasting my time . If on the other hand due to medical reason one of the couple is unable to preform and they have agreed that their spouse enjoy their sex life elsewhere I have no issue .

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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"After my last topic you either love me or hate me"

You are a brave man for posting another similar thread! You must enjoy the verbal ride a little bit...

The only *right reason* I can fathom is that both partners are mutually interested and can reason through the potential pitfalls together before, during and after. Your other thread taught us that there are as many different nuances to a specific act as there are people engaging in that act. We all came to this for different *right reasons* that work for our partnerships. The best I can hope for is to find others who respect, appreciate and complement my reasons for seeking out others. So far, so good...

An aside (because this isn't long enough, yet!): I will proclaim loudly and often that couples who are able to swing successfully have stronger partnerships with better sex with each other and better communication outside the bedroom than other couples.

Cincinnati OH
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Good reasons to swing; -Enhance or build on what you already have. -Growing your confidence and social/sexual skills. -Add variety to life.

Poor reasons to swing; -physical/mental coercion -make up for something missing -fear of losing a spouse/SO to someone else

Swinging can be stressful enough to relationships while they adjust and re-crystallize. Swinging for a positive reason can be a long-term benefit to relationships, strengthening and deepening them unbelievably. Swinging for a negative reason stresses the relationship even further without any positive result to build on and can easily become the straw that broke the camels back. The whole thing is that it adds stress, but can also be a motivator to work on the things that need working on. If one uses the stress to motivate changes in a positive and supportive direction, then the long-term effect is beneficial.


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Ya I hear ya Sav.

and Mls...ya i have considered it, and who knows maybe I will some day. I run my own business (2 of them) so switching careers now is kind of a step back. At least i do something I enjoy, I just always thought sex therapy would be a really rewarding career, making sex better for people!

Grand Blanc MI
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Flirt I don't think you have to be 100% committed to swinging I think you have to committed a 100% to trying it....big difference.

All personal feeling s aside if one partner isn't 100% into the participation of swinging whether it is right or wrong for them or not still leaves it questionable do they have the right to bring another unaware couple into that hot mess? Many of us who have a few years behind us can attest t the fact how awful it is to suddenly find themselves in that type of mix. Do you want to have sex with a person who doesn't really want to be there and is only doing it for their partner? Some people think they can "hide" or mask their feelings but in a sexual environment it can't help but become evident to the person with whom they've "agreed" to play with. Drama can happen at he best of times in the best relationships but imagine the drama if is visited on YOU by some wife or husband who goes crazy and gets jealous because SHE/HE didn't want to be there in the first place. No one may be holding a gun to their heads but let me assure you it happens far more often than you might think. We've seen and met many where within minutes it was obvious to both of us that one of them wasn't really into swinging and just going along........................we smile, say thanks and split immediately.

Mrs Sav

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TOPIC: Wrong reasons VS right reasons