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Wrong reasons VS right reasons : Swingers Discussion 1932541021
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FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsSwinger AdviceWrong reasons VS right reasons
TOPIC: Wrong reasons VS right reasons
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Gwen, thanks for tolerating me. LOL

M, referring to the act of swinging as "the lifestyle" does not mean I think everyone involved has decided to make it the central focus of their lives or relationship. All these profile declarations to this effect are silly. Whether it consumes your every waking thought or you only play once a year, you're in or you're not.

In for a penny, in for a pound.

Cape Canaveral FL
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J,

I always love your answers!

G

Visalia CA
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scandle... you may be disciplined for giving away sls secrets such as this one.

what a difference a year makes. maybe a year or so ago, i got BLASTED for suggesting there are right and wrong reasons for being in the lifestyle. regardless, i still stand by what i said. there ARE wrong reasons for being in the lifestyle. it is NOT just right because it seems right to you. if you want to argue exactly what those wrong reasons are, be my guest, but saying there are no right or wrong reasons means you haven't thought this question thru, even if the OP agrees with you. guess what? he's not the teacher judging who has the best essay about your summer vacation.

there are wrong reasons for being in the lifestyle for one reason. when you are here for the wrong reason, whatever it may be, you are involving other people in your bullshit. no one here has a profile that states, "we're very fucked up, about to lose our marriage, hoping sex with others will help us hate each other less...". that means you're involving me in your bullshit without my knowledge or consent. i have a right to know that the male half of your couple is bi because his sexual behavior directly introduces me to a level of risk that I ALONE have a right to accept or decline. i have to the same right to decline involving myself in your issues. it does not matter if you "issues" show themselves during our time together or not. i do not want to contribute to your problems knowingly or otherwise. when you're here for the wrong reasons and don't tell others, you are wrong.

canada(person)... two weeks ago you posted about a boyfriend who pushes you into this lifestyle and even invites people over without your knowledge. if you are still with this person... you need to seek therapy immediately. that is not a put down, but a serious concern for your well-being. you need a professional who can help you to see some things you are clearly missing in your decision making.

OP... how can john be the winner, when he clearly did not follow the rules? you said to keep answers SHORT!

like mine. :)

Cape Canaveral FL
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At ground level, there really are very few right/wrong reasons. The only really important elements are A) that everyone is singing from the same sheet of music, and B) that the experience solidifies and grows the relationship. If you're both having fun, and your relationship is growing more solid as a result, then Go For The Gold! If you're not having fun or your relationship is Not growing closer, then you should drop swinging and take up something else that might work better.


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Ya I was aware of that as I do web design for a living, but more modern forums software has a button you can click and it actually puts it into quotes and italics and actually puts the persons name next to it so it's really easy is all.

Grand Blanc MI
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Glad to be of assistance, ma'am!

Sheboygan Falls WI
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It has been very interesting reading all of the responses here and I don't have a thing to add (for once), other than a technical suggestion. Flirt mentioned "No if only this site would upgrade to a forum software developed sometime after 1998 so you can quote previous posts it would be SO much more interesting, lol." Right clicking on text to try to copy it never worked on my computer, but if I highlight the section I want to copy and hit CTRL C, it does the trick. Then use CTRL V to paste it where you want the quote to go.

Sheboygan Falls WI
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Why you started isn't half as important as why you continue lol. When you can answer in your own mind what it brings to your table and you're relationship you're on the right track. Curiosity brought most of us here , the reasons we stay are far different I'd assume for each couple or person. ;)

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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I find it very ironic and foot in mouth, that i started this thread, yet I am finding myself questioning my reasons for doing this. Not in a "OMG, Why am I doing this?" way, but in a "I really have no clue, what I want from this" way. Like, how did I end up here.

We talked about doing it. We talked about the turn ons. The rules. What type of people we like. What we are and aren't okay with. Same room vs separate. Covered all the basics...except I never really even though about WHY I wanted to. I REALLY don't know. I just kind of always wanted to try it, so when she decided she wanted to, we discussed her reasons and I was okay to go ahead. I just never even stopped to think, WHY I wanted to.

Guess I got some thinking to do....

Grand Blanc MI
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SED,

Point taken . I just happen to be too detail oriented in my thought process, especially when it comes to "our" swinging .

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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TOPIC: Wrong reasons VS right reasons