125
When the unexpected-unwanted happens : Swingers Discussion 221485101
Busy Swingers Forum - everything you always wanted to know about swingers.
SwingLifeStyle Swingers Personal Ads. | SwingLifeStyle Swingers Clubs

Busy Swingers Forum

Everything you always wanted to know about swingers.

Create A Free Account

HELP
FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsSwinger AdviceWhen the unexpected-unwanted happens
TOPIC: When the unexpected-unwanted happens
Created by: gt4biguy
Original Starting post for this thread:
We are pretty new to this lifestyle, Only been doing it for a few months. How do you deal, after the fact, when stuff has occurred involving your other half that you are not ok with?

GoTo Page: 1 2
 1 to 10 of 12   End
User Details are only visible to members.
I would love that!! So glad to hear she is doing better. Yes, she went through so much...but I am very happy to hear that it is now a memory.


Username hidden
(23992 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Shelly, I am glad you are doing better. Mrs. JM is doing quite well considering what she went through. Stay in touch. If you ever travel our way, please let us know and let's all meet up, even if it's just vanilla fun.

Greenville SC
Username hidden
(363 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Hey you! Yes, I am doing very well...thank you for asking! My RA is not well controlled, but I am definately better than I was before. Cannot complain! How is your Mrs. doing? I hope y'all are doing well!!!


Username hidden
(23992 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Hi Shelly Honey. Good to see you on here. I hope all is well with you?

Back to the forum:

Our advice... If you are going to swing, your dealing with the actions and communications between four people. It is easy for there to be a misunderstanding and you may have to have a slight flexibilty or tolerance of error so to speak for your boundaries. Was your issue a 'heat of the moment' thing; where boundaries were pushed over? You and your mate need to be strong communicators.

Greenville SC
Username hidden
(363 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Just as others have suggested, communication. If something has happened that bothers you, do not try and ignore it as if it did not happen...because things like that tend to fester and create a huge problem when simply talking about it immediately after would have resolved the issue. Talk about it...what bothered you, how it bothered you, and how you can come through it together. This does happen and can be a part of your learning process. Mistakes do happen, talk about them, resolve them and have fun.


Username hidden
(23992 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Tat,

Thank you, that"s very kind of you to say and I appreciate it. I hope all your fantasies come true.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
Username hidden
(5501 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
I go through the forums pretty often to read everyone's advice, suggestions and experiences for us to try to always be prepared for any adventure that comes our way. I do have to say that Mrs Sav always seems to have spot-on advice and insight. Mrs Sav, thank you for being on these forums and adding you experiences, advice and all the your input to help make everyone's adventure a pleasant experience.

North Fort Myers FL
Username hidden
(12 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Without any clue what you're referring to, it's hard to imagine what advice to give. Looking at your profile, we see a 41 yr old looking for guys 18 to 40. That's pretty kinky, which makes it even harder to guess what your problem is.

Flat Rock NC
Username hidden
(2984 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
Thanks. I do know the incident was not malicious. I think is was selfish and inconsiderate. I am really struggling with this today.

Whitehall PA
Username hidden
(40 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
You might want to take a couple steps internally and externally.

Internally, recognize that in this kind of activity, miscommunications or moments of judgment can cause things to slip outside of boundaries. If something happened that wasn't malicious, then do your best to take a breath and accept that it happened, and try not to internalize it too much. This could lead to it turning into a thermonuclear drama bomb.

Also think back to whether this lapse happened because the boundaries weren't clearly communicated, or whether the boundaries were crossed on purpose. If there wasn't a very good communication on what limits one or the other had, then it's hard to paint inside the lines. If the lines were crossed out of a moment of passion, then one might have a little understanding and choose to talk about it towards not letting it happen in the future. If the limits were crossed on purpose, then there's a bigger conversation that needs to take place.

Externally, you might guess it... communicate. Talk about it frankly and in the light of day. Try to be constructive about it. Try to determine why it happened, and talk about how it made each other feel. The limits might want to be reaffirmed or re-negotiated. Most of all, you want to establish trust one with another, and make sure that what happened doesn't cause damage to your relationship... and if it has, then a professional counselor might be in order.

New Market MD
Username hidden
(196 posts)
GoTo Page: 1 2
 1 to 10 of 12   End
TOPIC: When the unexpected-unwanted happens